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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Eating at guests and finding their food repulsive
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Sat, Nov 25 2017, 7:41 pm
This was the menu: crusty dry challa, fish literally suspended in gelatin, extremely over salted eggs, cholent with chicken feet in it, a kugel that tasted like rubbery flour. That was it. My kids are picky and did not eat a thing. My husband picked and left a lot of the plate. I pretended to eat/try to feed my kids from my plate. I ended up only eating a piece of challa. ever been in this position? wwyd?
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Sat, Nov 25 2017, 7:45 pm
amother wrote:
This was the menu: crusty dry challa, fish literally suspended in gelatin, extremely over salted eggs, cholent with chicken feet in it, a kugel that tasted like rubbery flour. That was it. My kids are picky and did not eat a thing. My husband picked and left a lot of the plate. I pretended to eat/try to feed my kids from my plate. I ended up only eating a piece of challa. ever been in this position? wwyd?


Sounds like you managed in the situation. I don't think there is much you can do really, just grin & bear it, thank the hosts & don't go back Smile Hopefully you had some food to eat when you got home.
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amother
Babypink


 

Post Sat, Nov 25 2017, 7:45 pm
I always wonder if people who are bad cooks know they are bad cooks.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Sat, Nov 25 2017, 7:47 pm
Have a snack when you get home.

If your hosts ate, then clearly the food was to their liking. If they came to your house, they might be disgusted at the gooey challah, dry fish, tasteless eggs, etc.

Or maybe nothing came out right and the hostess feels terrible. So what are you going to do, tell her?

I assume your family isn't starving and you can survive one bad meal. Thank the hosts for a lovely time, and don't go back. The end.
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amother
Copper


 

Post Sat, Nov 25 2017, 7:49 pm
How do you eat at guests?
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lucky14




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 25 2017, 7:52 pm
amother wrote:
Sounds like you managed in the situation. I don't think there is much you can do really, just grin & bear it, thank the hosts & don't go back Smile Hopefully you had some food to eat when you got home.


I agree.
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Amarante




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 25 2017, 7:59 pm
amother wrote:
I always wonder if people who are bad cooks know they are bad cooks.


No they don't and they also recommend restaurants with terrible food. :-)

The description of OP's dinner reminded me of a dinner hosted by a woman whose husband BRAGGED about her cooking. And the strangest part was that she knew I was a foodie so she would constantly talk about recipes and what she was cooking etc. It was a complete disconnect from reality :-)

I used to describe the dinner as having desiccated chicken breasts. And (not that I was complaining) but like the old Jewish joke, the food was terrible and the portions were stingy. :-)
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 25 2017, 9:58 pm
amother wrote:
How do you eat at guests?

I kind of assumed it meant that they often have these people as guests, but when they were invited to go there in exchange they hated it. So now it's awkward.
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amother
Cyan


 

Post Sun, Nov 26 2017, 2:56 am
It's rare to eat somewhere where I can't find even one thing to fill up on, even if the food is lousy in general. Only once DH and I went somewhere that the food was absolutely gross: came out of a filthy kitchen, served in visibly dirty containers that looked like those clear shoe storage boxes, and on top of that everything looked like it was recycled leftovers from previous shabbosim. Thankfully there were other guests and we weren't right under our hosts' noses. We moved the food around and nobody noticed that we didn't really eat. We ate when we got home.
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crl




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 26 2017, 5:04 am
Slightly off topic, but this was the suggested ad beneath this post. LOL

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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 26 2017, 5:21 am
After a few times in similar or worse situations (host brought out cholent eggs, no cholent, and green salad once. Literally nothing else. One of my kids said out loud “I’m going to eat the next course” and host turned red). Another time there was a bit of fish and then soup and that was it. This has happened more than a few times at different homes. In all of the situations, I or the host re-confirmed before shabbos. After the second time, I started pre-feeding my kids before any meals out at new hosts, just in case. And a cholent at home after. Its ok. Builds character.
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salt




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 26 2017, 5:22 am
amother wrote:
How do you eat at guests?


I assumed she meant "Eating as guests.."
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Sun, Nov 26 2017, 5:24 am
Yes. I was eating, as a guest, at someone else's house. I'd totally go back though, since they are good friends. This was our first time eating there. Making sure I eat before and have food at home is a good plan of action next time. I didn't know people still ate like that--with gelatin fish and chicken feet. And literally not one vegetable. Goodness! Thankfully there was no ptcha that week!
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 26 2017, 5:28 am
I don't eat out much but I have guests a lot. Whenever I have guests I always make sure to serve a variety of food. For example my family might be perfectly happy with cholent and challah for shabbos lunch, if I have guests I usually serve fish, eggs, dips a salad and maybe a kugel as well. And if there is kids something like plain cherry tomatoes.

This week I had 1 pescetarian, 1 vegetarian, 2 people who ate everything except beef and everyone else who ate everything. Thats pretty normal.
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notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 26 2017, 5:31 am
Whenever I go away for Shabbas, I bring some healthy snacks in case we need it
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 26 2017, 7:21 am
I once went to someone’s house where much of the food was not cooked enough, but at least the Challah was good, so I focused on that. They are really nice people so we just try to eat before we go so we can choose what we want without being hungry.
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LittleDucky




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 26 2017, 7:27 am
Had that happen once and just pretended to eat. I didn’t think they had enough food to really host so I barely ate. I had fruit etc when I got home...
it’s not like it was motzei Yom Kippur! We can all have a meal once in a while that we can’t eat at.
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Sun, Nov 26 2017, 7:28 am
One time we went out for shabbos lunch to a family we don't even know, our husbands happen to daven together and so they invited us. My husband insisted that they do not have pets, and they had pets running around (think a dog shedding on the food). That alone made me lose my appetite.
All the food was served to the wife first and then to the husband and then to the guests, they took with their hands! so yeah no thank you, I will just be eating challah.
Now I know to put up a cholent when we are eating out so at least we will have something to eat if we come home hungry
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ora_43




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 26 2017, 7:37 am
amother wrote:
This was the menu: crusty dry challa, fish literally suspended in gelatin, extremely over salted eggs, cholent with chicken feet in it, a kugel that tasted like rubbery flour. That was it. My kids are picky and did not eat a thing. My husband picked and left a lot of the plate. I pretended to eat/try to feed my kids from my plate. I ended up only eating a piece of challa. ever been in this position? wwyd?

At the time - like other people said, push the food around, eat at home later.

For the future, though - what I'd do is bring something I know my kids like to eat. The best way to do this is to just announce it, not explain it, eg, "We'd love to come. I'll bring potatoes and a salad." If they try to insist you don't bring food, you can always just accuse your kids or yourself of being picky eaters.
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amother
Black


 

Post Sun, Nov 26 2017, 7:39 am
When I was single I once stayed with a friend for shabbos and we ate by an acquaintance of mine for dinner (She had invited me with plenty of notice) There were about 15 people and only enough food for half that, and most was inedible. We nibbled at it politely and had a snack when we got back. I was glad I was staying with a good friend. Since then, I always bring substantial snacks when we go away for shabbos. BH missing one meal will not hurt once on a while, although I know it can be disappointing if you were looking forward to a good meal and a little awkward if your host expects you to show appreciation by eating substantially.
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