Who is the norm to tip for Chanukah? What amount?

amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, Dec 04 2017, 4:58 pm

This is my oldest so this is my first time and I'm not sure what the norm is. I know I don't have to tip anyone and I'm not looking to spend a lot of money, but I would like to do what is generally considered normal.
How much per:
Teacher
Assistant (2)
Speech therapist & OT - and am I supposed to tip them?
Babysitter - an older women she picks up my kids once a week from school and watches them for 3 hours - do I tip her & if yes, how much?
Dds driver - private transportation so I pay him every month. Do I give him a tip & how much?
Any other school personal I'm not thinking of?

This is in Brooklyn
Thanks in advance for any help

amother

Burgundy

Mon, Dec 04 2017, 5:14 pm

Rebbe -50 and another 50 on purim
Morah 50
Teacher 25
Therapist25
Driver 20
Babysitter between25 and 50. U have to decide based on relationship etc
I live in bkln and dh and I work overtime to afford it. I think our total this yr came to $730

thunderstorm

Mon, Dec 04 2017, 5:30 pm

Good for you that you can. In our home we are unable to give anything to anyone. But I do send a note thanking them even without the money. I try to give Purim to the rebbes at least $50 so that they can it towards Pesach expenses. Even if I worked overtime that money would go to pay for our food. We live pay check to paycheck with no room for extras.

DVOM

Tue, Dec 05 2017, 7:57 am

Every year there is a post about what sort of tip people give for chanukah and purim, and I always find it interesting to read. We can't afford the amounts other IMAs are posting... With four kids, I have 8 Rebbes and Morahs and at least 8 therapists on my tip list. Here's what we do:

My boys write thank you notes. We help them think of something specific they want to say thank you for or that they particularly like about this rebbe, Morah or therapist. I write a thank you note to each one too. We usually bake something (this year already made cinnamon buns) and package it up nicely with the note. Some years I'm able to give a gift card along with it for the Rebbes (about 25$); this year, we're not going to be able to afford that. The packaging costs around a dollar or two per person.

If I'm honest, I know that at this point in my life if I was a Rebbe or a teacher I'd much prefer a 50 dollar check than the very heartfelt little package I send. Maybe one day I'll be able to afford to do that too.

cnc

Tue, Dec 05 2017, 8:05 am

DVOM wrote:

As a former teacher, the heartfelt notes and packages were very very appreciated. Teachers and rebbeim understand that not all parents can afford to tip.

Raisin

Tue, Dec 05 2017, 8:33 am

just saying, your childrens female teachers deserve the tips just as much as the Rebbes. (of course, if they teach less hours, its ok to adjust the amount)

It makes me sick to my stomach when I see men teachers often get many times the amount a woman teacher gets. And this is women deciding the amount!

Your kids female teachers are using the tips to support their families, every bit as much as the male ones!

33055

Tue, Dec 05 2017, 8:37 am

DVOM wrote:

I prefer what you do a thousand times over. Yours is done with love. I love the fact you have your boys write the note about what is special about the person.

SuperWify

Tue, Dec 05 2017, 8:58 am

Another clueless first time mom. Is $15 too cheap for a babysitter with a nice note? (I pay a lot of babysitting but she’s really good and devoted)
I have an amazing therapist who really helped DH and I. I guess I’ll do a gift card. How much to do?

cnc

Tue, Dec 05 2017, 9:04 am

SuperWify wrote:

15 is nice for a babysitter.
It's unethical for a therapist to accept a gift from you and your dh. Are you still seeing her?

amother

Plum

Tue, Dec 05 2017, 9:06 am

My older kids are in school and the school collects $30 per child to distribute to all the teachers. That seems pretty reasonable to me.

I got a call last week about my 2 year old in preschool that the class mom is collecting $25 per teacher. Multiply that by 3 teachers and it's a lot of money for tips for just one child. Although I suppose there's a lot more hands on care in a 2 year old class than in the older grades.

pause

Tue, Dec 05 2017, 9:09 am

For people whom I pay directly, such as babysitter, I much prefer to give a gift. I don't know why because they'd probably appreciate the money tip more, but somehow it feels weird to me to give more money to people I pay.

pause

Tue, Dec 05 2017, 9:11 am

amother wrote:

For older kids, that makes sense.

For preschool/playgroup, I would opt out. I have given one teacher $40 and another one $10. Because I pick up and drop off my child, I get to see who does what, and I tip accordingly.

amother

Vermilion

Tue, Dec 05 2017, 9:12 am

SuperWify wrote:

Babysitter here. Parents who give usually give between $10 & $20. Just make sure to put it in an envelope with a card or note. I hate when parents just add it to my check with no explanation. Its awkward like maybe I should call parent and tell them they overpaid. But no its probably a gift. Just write it clearly. Thank you. Happy chanuka.
Re therapist. Ive been to some agencies who have a firm no gifts just cards rule. Many clients cant afford it and it can create pressure.

SuperWify

Tue, Dec 05 2017, 10:50 am

cnc wrote:

15 is nice for a babysitter.
It's unethical for a therapist to accept a gift from you and your dh. Are you still seeing her?

unethical? Hmmm... how Can I show hakoras hatov then? Yes we’re still seeing her but ending soon.