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Who is the norm to tip for Chanukah? What amount?
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2017, 11:02 am
amother wrote:
This is my oldest so this is my first time and I'm not sure what the norm is. I know I don't have to tip anyone and I'm not looking to spend a lot of money, but I would like to do what is generally considered normal.
How much per:
Teacher
Assistant (2)
Speech therapist & OT - and am I supposed to tip them?
Babysitter - an older women she picks up my kids once a week from school and watches them for 3 hours - do I tip her & if yes, how much?
Dds driver - private transportation so I pay him every month. Do I give him a tip & how much?
Any other school personal I'm not thinking of?

This is in Brooklyn
Thanks in advance for any help


The PTA may send out a letter re the teachers and assistants, so hold off on that. Our schools always did class gifts, so no one knew who gave what.

I usually tipped SLT and OTL $25 at Hanukkah and year end (not Purim). When DD was younger, they also used to give her stickers and erasers for hard work, so I gave a small gift card to Oriental Trading to help defray those costs.

Driver also $25.

The sitter only watches them once a week, for a few hours, so I'd give her $10.
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LittleDucky




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2017, 11:50 am
It is unethical for therapists of any kind including OTs and PTs to accept large or expensive gifts including gift cards. The reasoning is that it can change the way the therapist treats you, how it may impact treatment and what would be the effect if you didn’t give.

Same reasoning applies to teachers. Many schools have a no tip policy because of this. Teachers won’t react the same to students who gave a $50 tip as the one who gave nothing. No matter how much the teacher thinks they won’t be influenced, it follows the same reasoning that we have in Halacha that the Judges should be wealthy enough that potential bribes won’t effect them. Because bribes do effect people no matter how great they are, how big a tzaddik they are, and how passionate they might be. And tips are bribes. How many times do we hear that parents give nicer ones so that the teacher treats their kid better? Teachers will act differently because of them. Psychologists and other mental health therapists who are trained to be neutral, unbiased, have boundaries and work on counter transference all know that despite that training (that other professions don’t have) they will still be effected- it’s a normal human reaction that training can not overcome. All the more so teachers and other professionals who haven’t had this training.

All schools should ban tips. Even the ones that do group gifts, it can get back to the teacher who gave what. And they will know whose name is on the card.

Just because a kid might be poor(er) does not mean they should be treated any less.
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Another mom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 05 2017, 5:06 pm
pause wrote:
For people whom I pay directly, such as babysitter, I much prefer to give a gift. I don't know why because they'd probably appreciate the money tip more, but somehow it feels weird to me to give more money to people I pay.

In the 70s we only gave gifts , and only to teachers!!!
Somehow money is much less personal, rubs me the wrong way (like a bribe maybe) BUT Kol HaCavod to all who give!
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