What would you do?

amother

Aquamarine

Mon, Dec 04 2017, 9:37 pm

My ds has asthma. The boys are vaping( nicotene) on his bus with the windows closed. The administration does not know about it....the other boys were told not to say anything or else...is there anything we can do without getting my ds into trouble for telling?

ra_mom

Mon, Dec 04 2017, 9:38 pm

Do the boys not care that ds has asthma? Would they stop if he mentions it's dangerous for his condition?

petiteruchy

Mon, Dec 04 2017, 9:39 pm

How old are the boys? How is the school and the admin in general?

amother

Aquamarine

Mon, Dec 04 2017, 9:40 pm

He's never told them..I don't think it would matter to them.

Surrendered

Mon, Dec 04 2017, 10:09 pm

Keeping a secret on a (medical) condition is very tough on a child and not fair to keep from the administration. He might need their help one day. Do yourself and your DS a favor and don't hide it from those who might need to know about it. Letting him talk about it to his friends could be theraputic and break the embarrassment (there shouldn't be any). Most people who keep a condition a secret, have regrets down the road.

amother

Aquamarine

Mon, Dec 04 2017, 10:13 pm

These are not his friends, they r older boys....the administration knows he has asthma, they do not know about the vaping..that is the issue here..he can't tell..and trust me they would make fun of him if he told them he has asthma

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Dec 04 2017, 10:18 pm

I would get on that bus, Mamma bear style, and say that I need every gentleman's help starting immediately! I'd say my son has breathing issues that can be triggered by perfume, dust, cigarette smoke, vaping, frogs, peanuts, salamanders, caterpillars, bugs, bats, rats, and a couple more things. Could they all check their bags and pockets and if any of these items are there, keep them in their pockets til they get home! Thus they will have a huge mitzvah of saving your son's life :-)
If you're in Brooklyn I can come with you.

amother

Aquamarine

Mon, Dec 04 2017, 10:27 pm

I am a mama bear, thats why this is so hard...the boys who don't vape where threatened not to snitch..if I do that he would not be able to show his face...thanks for the offer though.

Laiya

Mon, Dec 04 2017, 10:32 pm

This is a tough situation.

It seems to me like you have two options. Either call the administration or arrange a different mode of transport for your son.

Last edited by Laiya on Tue, Dec 05 2017, 8:35 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Firebrick

Mon, Dec 04 2017, 10:36 pm

Write an anonymous letter if you fear DS being found out as the snitch. But put an end to it. Why on earth are boys of an age to be riding a school bus vaping? This is such dangerous behavior. How are they buying this garbage?

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Dec 04 2017, 10:37 pm

amother wrote:

I am a mama bear, thats why this is so hard...the boys who don't vape where threatened not to snitch..if I do that he would not be able to show his face...thanks for the offer though.

Oh what bullies :-(

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Dec 04 2017, 10:39 pm

Could someone ride the bus as a "monitor"? So the monitor can snitch.

Or, can the driver receive an anonymous phone call asking him to report the situation to hanhala? This way the bullies see the driver as the snitch.

amother

Aquamarine

Mon, Dec 04 2017, 11:01 pm

amother wrote:

let's just say the driver is part of the problem.

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Dec 04 2017, 11:07 pm

At this point I'd get my son off that bus and find another arrangement for him .
I couldn't allow my son on a bus where kids are vaping with closed windows.

lucky14

Mon, Dec 04 2017, 11:09 pm

Is it to not possible to say something anonymously? By email or an old fashion letter?

Blessing1

Mon, Dec 04 2017, 11:20 pm

Why can't you call the school & tell them about the situation?? The boys don't have to know that it was you who called.

Laiya

Mon, Dec 04 2017, 11:25 pm

Also, I might be concerned that ds will start vaping too, if he finds the peer pressure hard to withstand. A friend's asthmatic son did this, and she only found out several years later. (And he was well aware of the medical implications)

amother

Firebrick

Mon, Dec 04 2017, 11:45 pm

amother wrote:

let's just say the driver is part of the problem.

I'm not sure what this means (is he allowing/ encouraging the vaping? Vaping too and also threatening kids? Supplying the stuff? What?) but if he's part of the problem, perhaps he should not be in the business of driving children?

You have got to report this.

Iymnok

Tue, Dec 05 2017, 3:17 am

You can report it saying that you saw when you met him at the bus stop.

crust

Tue, Dec 05 2017, 6:35 am

You can tell me the Yeshiva's info and I will call in the Yeshiva. Your son doesn't have to know you gave the info to someone so he won't be self conscious when asked about it.

Is administration going to take this issue seriousely?