THank you notes | Imamother

simcha2

Thu, Dec 14 2017, 4:49 pm

amother wrote:

I think wedding gifts are completely different then a gift/note to a teacher.
A wedding gift is given as a complete gift, not as a thank you for a service. A teacher teaches your child, the gift/note is thanking her for all she does for your child. It is in appreciation of something.
Lets say you use a caterer for a simcha, you send a thank you card after the simcha thanking them for the delicious food etc. Do you expect a thank you card back from them, thanking you for thanking them?

If I sent my payment and with it an gift to show my appreciation, then yes, I would expect some acknowledgement of the additional gift.

seeker

Thu, Dec 14 2017, 5:02 pm

Optione wrote:

As a teacher, I receive a Chanukah check that the PTA pooled from the parents.
I print a card that I typed but on the front handwrite "Mr. and Mrs. _____." Even though it's a printed card, they see that I didn't just stick 25 cards into 25 folders...

That sounds like a nice touch!

simcha2

Thu, Dec 14 2017, 5:04 pm

amother wrote:

Would a thank you be enough? or would you want a written up note?

It depends somewhat on how it was given. (But I also think the analogy isn't a perfect one. Teachers have an ongoing relationship to build with students and parents, and also, by definition, should be modelling behaviors to the children.)

amother

Apricot

Thu, Dec 14 2017, 5:06 pm

I actually like my analogy. Sounds like you look at your gift giving like a donation, and like if you donated money to a school you would expect to get a thank you note thanking you for your donation. What is the purpose of giving a gift/note to the teacher? to be thanked back? where would it end? should you thank the teacher for her thank you?

watergirl

Thu, Dec 14 2017, 5:08 pm

amother wrote:

People keep saying this and its ridiculous to be honest. Of course a parent doesnt need to thank them for a thank you. When you give a wedding gift and get a thank you card, do you call of the bride to thank her for sending a thank you card? Of course not! Why do people always use that example in regards to a teacher?
Of course the purpose of giving the gift isnt to be thanked back. But its common seichel to thank someone for a gift. Esp when that someone is supposed to be modeling proper middos for your kids.

Last edited by watergirl on Thu, Dec 14 2017, 5:10 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Apricot

Thu, Dec 14 2017, 5:10 pm

watergirl wrote:

I cant tell if you agree with me or not

seeker

Thu, Dec 14 2017, 5:12 pm

amother wrote:

Unless you just endowed the new building, the thank you note for your donation is a standard preprinted letter that they send to everyone.

amother

Azure

Thu, Dec 14 2017, 7:39 pm

Let me clarify a couple things, though it seems everyone has differed feelings about this so not quite sure how to proceed! I do want to thank them for their thoughtfullness, just not sure the best method. I did already thank one in person.

I am a specialist, and I have a ‘box’ where students can leave things for me. Therefore, The gift was not handed directly to me so I couldn’t not thank the student.

LittleDucky

Thu, Dec 14 2017, 9:46 pm

amother wrote:

I pay tuition. I don’t expect a thank you for doing that- it is a requirement and part of the contract for my child to attend that school. I decide to give an extra gift. It isn’t required so I do expect a thank you. If I just wrote a letter I obviously do not need a response for that. But a gift that goes above the requirements? Sure I want a thank you.
So for your parable, I sent payment and wrote a short letter saying thanks- that would be the end of the conversation. But if I sent an extravagant chocolate platter in gratitude that they went above and beyond and/or it was more complicated than a typical catering situation- yeah, getting a card “thank you for the chocolate platter- it was enjoyed by my entire family! It was a pleasure to serve you and I look forward to your business in the future...” would be expected (besides being good business practices).

LittleDucky

Thu, Dec 14 2017, 9:50 pm

amother wrote:

If you know who sent it, send a short card to the family and hand to the kid when you see them next. Or if it is a specialist that works with kids who won’t bring it home, a quick call to the parents would be nice.