Do you ever go through your husband’s texts?

amother

Plum

Sun, Dec 17 2017, 6:11 pm

Yes there is something wrong.
I used to do it, but it was a reflection of my own insecurity. I'm much happier since I stopped. And I have no reason not to trust my husband, so why would I?

agreer

Sun, Dec 17 2017, 6:23 pm

I always go through his texts. He goes through mine and my whatsapp to see what's going on with our families.

It works for us. It's a quick way to see what the other one was busy with during the day. We then ask each other about it - it boosts our conversation.

I personally don't think one's phone is sacrosanct and private beyond all...especially between husband and wife. To me, that seems ridiculous.

However...and this is a biggie...we don't have super-confidential jobs or roles within the community. No one is texting us big important secrets. We know that.

amother

Goldenrod

Sun, Dec 17 2017, 6:25 pm

agreer wrote:

Same

amother

Pewter

Sun, Dec 17 2017, 6:26 pm

agreer wrote:

Why don’t you trust each other to tell each other about your days.

thunderstorm

Sun, Dec 17 2017, 7:47 pm

No. We don't and have no need. If I wanted to know what's going on , on certain family texts or what's app groups I'd just add myself to those groups. No need to check his phone or vice versa. Same with emails, I've never checked his and he hasn't checked miNe unless I specifically request he access my inbox for whatever reason ( usually when I don't have access to my emails ).
We do know each other's passwords so if I wanted to check I would but I don't feel the need.

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, Dec 17 2017, 8:07 pm

Rochelle1 wrote:

If you’re checking, it means that you are suspicious of something,,,,

Sorry disagree. My husband and I do it to each other. We each have nothing to hide and like other posters said it’s just a way to catch up and see funny or interesting things that happened thru the day. It’s just something to do when we’re bored it’s not like covertly sneaking through each other’s phones. If there was something very personal or private about someone else that would be different but that’s a very rare occurrence.

33055

Sun, Dec 17 2017, 8:14 pm

amother wrote:

Your friends and family don't realize they are texting to an audience. You violate them every time you do this. It is immature teenage baby behavior at the worst. It is a gross violation of their privacy on the other end. This is like letting someone listen to a phone convo without the other party knowing.

Grown up mature women respect others.

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, Dec 17 2017, 8:18 pm

Squishy wrote:

Thank you so much for calling me an immature teenager. Like I said before no one is txting me their deep dark secrets. Sorry if you feel so strongly about this. Personally don’t think I’m “violating” anyone’s anything. But whatever agree to disagree.

amother

Brown

Sun, Dec 17 2017, 8:23 pm

We do it all the time, probably every few days. If anything, I think it demonstrates complete trust that we are entirely comfortable with each other. The reason we go thru is simply because it's interesting to see what we've been up to. Sure he can tell me but it gives me a better picture when I can see the exact exchange. Also, since it's only every few days, he wouldn't think to tell me small insignificant details that I might find interesting. Why do woman keep saying it's a lack of trust? Like I said, of anything it shows trust, not to mention if there was really something to hide, it could be deleted. This is really not a trust issue.

33055

Sun, Dec 17 2017, 8:24 pm

amother wrote:

You don't have a right to judge what is someone else's deep dark secret. You should be honest with your friends and family, and tell them they have no privacy. This way you can't make a mistake. Your behavior is disgusting. You should ask a rov if you are allowed to to do this.

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, Dec 17 2017, 8:28 pm

Squishy wrote:

Can I ask why you’re getting so worked up? And I’m not the only person on the thread who said they do this - including the op so why are you freaking out on me? I was simply responding to a poster who said if you’re looking it shows that someone is suspicious if they look through a spouses phone. And I said I disagree cuz we are not suspicious of each other. I certainly didn’t request all your lovely comments about my behavior. Why don’t you just relax.

allthingsblue

Sun, Dec 17 2017, 8:28 pm

Squishy wrote:

Actually, the friends and family should be the ones to think before they text. Anyone who sends a text should use discretion and keep in mind that technically, once it's sent, anyone can catch sight of it...
( I do think it's strange that people have to read e/o texts instead of talk to e/o, and its possible I'd be upset if my friends did that to me.)

tweety1

Sun, Dec 17 2017, 8:35 pm

I sure do. My dh gets interesting clips and jokes via whatssup all the time. He has telegram. My phone has better internet. I dont call it as some of you said "invading privacy" or like chartreuse said said "thanx for calling me an immature teenager".
Everybody should plz do what works for them. There's no definite right or wrong.

33055

Sun, Dec 17 2017, 8:47 pm

allthingsblue wrote:

Well actually this type of behavior is illegal in most civilized countries. I say this type because screen shoting and texting it are not necessary with DH in the room.

Once a conversation is spoken it also can be recorded, but one does expect this. One has an expectation of privacy when speaking/texting with friends.

Anyone who texts me can be assured of their privacy 100%. I don't divulge the content of conversations.

BTW, when I realize people who do this, I cut them off completely without explanation.