She loves the baby to 'hard'

amother

Pink

Sun, Dec 24 2017, 7:59 am

I have a 3.5 year old daughter and a 7 week old infant.
My older daughter loves the baby very much and is very possesive of her.
Problem is she expresses her love in very ungentle manners.
Shell cuddle the baby and almost smashes her. She will grab at her hands and feet
She will scream in her ear.
I don't know what to do about it. Explaining nicely and punishments have not worked.
I litterally cannot leave them alone.
Any experience?

tovli toraspicha

Sun, Dec 24 2017, 8:20 am

First of all, it's great that the 3.5 yo loves the baby! Definitely encourage that connection in a positive way. But you shouldn't leave them alone together, make sure the baby is always in a safe place if you have to step out of the room. make sure to keep reminding your older one that you have to be very gentle with the baby because babies are very delicate. "you are doing such a good job playing with the baby, let's make sure to be very gentle with her because babies are so delicate and little..."

amother

Apricot

Sun, Dec 24 2017, 8:21 am

Yes. And the answer is, I literally can not leave them alone. Do you have somewhere to put the baby down that the toddler can’t reach her?

thunderstorm

Sun, Dec 24 2017, 8:42 am

Oh! The memories! It's tough when you go through it but afterward you look back and realize it was the sweetest thing. I love reading my journaling in my scrapbooks describing this "loving too much" between the 3.5-4 yr old and newborn.
One of my 3.5 yr olds was so generous with his two week old brother who was swinging in the baby swing while I was washing dishes. He stuffed the newborns mouth with popcorn!!!!
My other kid, would play "potchie hentelach" way too agressivy and squeeze the newborn to hug him.
I learned that as much as thesebig siblings "love" their new baby it's hard for them to be gentle. I didn't have a choice but to protect the newborn and keep him in a different room.
Then during mommy and me time with the toddler I would be there to supervise the interaction and explain the importance of being gentle etc.
I would not punish as these little big siblings really do want to express their love but just don't know better.