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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Being considerate, germs, washing hand, soap n kitchen, sick



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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Sun, Dec 24 2017, 12:00 pm
Does your DH wash his hands when he comes home from shul before touching challah and cutting it for guests? In shul dh and all the men shake hands but he always washes his hands with soap before the meal, but as a guest in other people's houses, I haven't seen that happen and it's very unsanitary. Even if he didn't shake anyone's hands, the door knobs of your house are not clean, the siddur he used in shul could have been used by a sick person a few hours before, so why don't people wash their hands?

Also, we've been guests in houses where there is no soap in the kitchen. One place we went to didn't even have soap in the bathroom (This is more unsusual. it was shabbos and I know some people don't use thick liquid soap, so dilute it if this is your minhag, but it grosses me out to think the host prepared our meal without washing hands with soap after using the bathroom). Why in the world do people not keep soap in the kitchen?

And if you're sick, stay home please. We were guests and one of the other guests were sick- Why in the world did you come and not cancel? Why spread your germs to other people. This irks me to no end. And this guest breathed heavily through their mouth probably because their nose was stuffed, and touched their nose and then touched the utensils on the table that others had to touch. Even if this guest had not touched their nose and were not breathing through their mouth, they should have stayed home and not come. If I were the host, I would have been even more annoyed. A little consideration for other people. why do some people only think about themselves.

ETA having one towel for all guests to wipe their hands on is also a way to spread germs. You don't have to give a separate towel for everyone, paper towels also prevents germs.
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 24 2017, 12:04 pm
I think it has to do with how sensitive you are to germs. There are mothers who will freak out if a baby is eating off the floor and there are other mothers that think the baby is just getting a little "vitamin D", vitamin dirt and is boosting their immune system. My DH nor my DSs wash their hands with soap after shul. But they all wash for al netilas yadayim... for me that's sufficient enough.
And people have colds all the time in the winter. I don't think it's awful that they showed up as a guest.
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oliveoil




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 24 2017, 12:47 pm
I'm with you, OP.

We all wash hands as soon as we come home from anywhere, and definitely before eating.

My kids know, you don't touch anything when you come home from school until you've washed your hands. Same from the park, back yard, etc.

Washing netilas yadayim is not at all a replacement for washing with soap.
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 24 2017, 12:56 pm
amother wrote:
Does your DH wash his hands when he comes home from shul before touching challah and cutting it for guests? In shul dh and all the men shake hands but he always washes his hands with soap before the meal, but as a guest in other people's houses, I haven't seen that happen and it's very unsanitary. Even if he didn't shake anyone's hands, the door knobs of your house are not clean, the siddur he used in shul could have been used by a sick person a few hours before, so why don't people wash their hands?

Also, we've been guests in houses where there is no soap in the kitchen. One place we went to didn't even have soap in the bathroom (This is more unsusual. it was shabbos and I know some people don't use thick liquid soap, so dilute it if this is your minhag, but it grosses me out to think the host prepared our meal without washing hands with soap after using the bathroom). Why in the world do people not keep soap in the kitchen?

And if you're sick, stay home please. We were guests and one of the other guests were sick- Why in the world did you come and not cancel? Why spread your germs to other people. This irks me to no end. And this guest breathed heavily through their mouth probably because their nose was stuffed, and touched their nose and then touched the utensils on the table that others had to touch. Even if this guest had not touched their nose and were not breathing through their mouth, they should have stayed home and not come. If I were the host, I would have been even more annoyed. A little consideration for other people. why do some people only think about themselves.


You just got to grin and bear it. Lots of houses (and even some resturants) don't have soap.

The men will at least wash their hands with water before touching challah even if the wash cup is not the cleanest and all guests use the same towel that was used the night before. There is nothing to do or say.

Don't even think about food prep. Hosts who will meticulously check for bugs will food prep without using soap after toileting. I make my cleaning lady wash her hands before she works in my kitchen. She told me that I am the only lady who is so strict. I also trained her to wash her hands after she touches a running nose. She was not used to tissues.

The guest who was sick may not have had any other alternative but to come and eat. Most people aren't as considerate as one would like. Lots of moms send their kids to school sick even though the rule is 24 hours without fever.
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Simple1




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 24 2017, 1:09 pm
I generally try to be careful with germs. But, you seem a bit over worried and anxious about it. For the average person, a few germs here and there won't hurt.
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amother
Lime


 

Post Sun, Dec 24 2017, 1:12 pm
I find it's even more important to keep washing up with soap in the winter. Our immune systems are shot between the cold chills outside and the dry heat inside.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Sun, Dec 24 2017, 1:13 pm
I also agree with you, OP.
Here’s something else to think about: How about when you go to a restaurant for a sandwich and you wash with the netilas yadayim cup that everybody else used. How do you know if the person that used it last was not sick? Then you have to handle your sandwich with your contaminated hands.
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Sun, Dec 24 2017, 1:58 pm
amother wrote:
I also agree with you, OP.
Here’s something else to think about: How about when you go to a restaurant for a sandwich and you wash with the netilas yadayim cup that everybody else used. How do you know if the person that used it last was not sick? Then you have to handle your sandwich with your contaminated hands.

I use a paper towel to hold the cup or I wash my hands with soap after netilas yadayim.
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Sun, Dec 24 2017, 1:59 pm
Squishy wrote:
You just got to grin and bear it. Lots of houses (and even some resturants) don't have soap.

The men will at least wash their hands with water before touching challah even if the wash cup is not the cleanest and all guests use the same towel that was used the night before. There is nothing to do or say.

Don't even think about food prep. Hosts who will meticulously check for bugs will food prep without using soap after toileting. I make my cleaning lady wash her hands before she works in my kitchen. She told me that I am the only lady who is so strict. I also trained her to wash her hands after she touches a running nose. She was not used to tissues.

The guest who was sick may not have had any other alternative but to come and eat. Most people aren't as considerate as one would like. Lots of moms send their kids to school sick even though the rule is 24 hours without fever.


Water isn't enough to wash germs and the same towel also isn't sanitary.
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Sun, Dec 24 2017, 2:00 pm
Squishy wrote:
You just got to grin and bear it. Lots of houses (and even some resturants) don't have soap.

The men will at least wash their hands with water before touching challah even if the wash cup is not the cleanest and all guests use the same towel that was used the night before. There is nothing to do or say.

Don't even think about food prep. Hosts who will meticulously check for bugs will food prep without using soap after toileting. I make my cleaning lady wash her hands before she works in my kitchen. She told me that I am the only lady who is so strict. I also trained her to wash her hands after she touches a running nose. She was not used to tissues.

The guest who was sick may not have had any other alternative but to come and eat. Most people aren't as considerate as one would like. Lots of moms send their kids to school sick even though the rule is 24 hours without fever.


No such thing as no alternative. You can stay home and make the seuda in your house.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Sun, Dec 24 2017, 2:24 pm
amother wrote:
I use a paper towel to hold the cup or I wash my hands with soap after netilas yadayim.

Excellent idea. I do it also.
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ima22




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 24 2017, 2:28 pm
I'm with you pumpkin. It is disgusting. Not sure why basic hygiene is lacking. It is a fundamental part of v'nishmartem... to take care of ourselves. How much more so when you are responsible for others (your children, guests). Yes it is possible to take this to an extreme but washing hands with soap after toileting and before handling food don't seem over the top to me.
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 24 2017, 2:36 pm
amother wrote:
No such thing as no alternative. You can stay home and make the seuda in your house.


Ok. Then if you want to socialize with others in the community you have to grin and bear with their hygiene.
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amother
Jade


 

Post Sun, Dec 24 2017, 2:45 pm
amother wrote:
Does your DH wash his hands when he comes home from shul before touching challah and cutting it for guests? In shul dh and all the men shake hands but he always washes his hands with soap before the meal, but as a guest in other people's houses, I haven't seen that happen and it's very unsanitary. Even if he didn't shake anyone's hands, the door knobs of your house are not clean, the siddur he used in shul could have been used by a sick person a few hours before, so why don't people wash their hands?

Also, we've been guests in houses where there is no soap in the kitchen. One place we went to didn't even have soap in the bathroom (This is more unsusual. it was shabbos and I know some people don't use thick liquid soap, so dilute it if this is your minhag, but it grosses me out to think the host prepared our meal without washing hands with soap after using the bathroom). Why in the world do people not keep soap in the kitchen?

And if you're sick, stay home please. We were guests and one of the other guests were sick- Why in the world did you come and not cancel? Why spread your germs to other people. This irks me to no end. And this guest breathed heavily through their mouth probably because their nose was stuffed, and touched their nose and then touched the utensils on the table that others had to touch. Even if this guest had not touched their nose and were not breathing through their mouth, they should have stayed home and not come. If I were the host, I would have been even more annoyed. A little consideration for other people. why do some people only think about themselves.

ETA having one towel for all guests to wipe their hands on is also a way to spread germs. You don't have to give a separate towel for everyone, paper towels also prevents germs.


ROFL because it's like I wrote this post and forgot I wrote it. Yes, yes, yes to all of it! I hate eating out by most people because most people are gross. DH makes a mad dash to the bathroom to wash up the minute he comes home from shul. There is ALWAYS at least one person who shook his hand and then said how sick they are. Always. Rude! We ran away from a restaurant recently because they had no soap in the bathroom. Same bathroom employees use. Scary. We canceled our order and left. I have yet to notice kitchens or bathrooms in people's homes missing soap, but I see a real lack of use. I see ladies sticking their hands into a salad bowl to toss it without washing up first, when they've been doing all kinds of other non-food, non-clean things first. Yuck! Also some finger licking going on while arranging food on a plate, or tasting from a spoon and then back into the soup/ dip it goes. Yikes! I do everything with disposable gloves; never lick a spoon.
the single dish towel for 10, 15, 20+++ people makes me cringe. I wont touch it. I go back to my seat with wet hands and use my napkin. And the sick shabbos guests, ughhhh! I love when they're coughing up their lungs and tell me it's okay because they're taking meds. Um, no. It's really not. Or tell me their kid's runny nose is just allergies. Really? Do allergies cause neon green snot?
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cooksallday




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 24 2017, 2:48 pm
I've been thinking this to myself for a while but never saw anyone talk about it. I'm a little ocd with washing hands and it grosses me out to think too much about all these processes (kiddush, sharing cups, etc). Washing netilas yedayim does not equate washing for sanitary reasons. There comes a point where I just live and let live, there are so many germs out there it is impossible to pinpoint they are coming from one place. We just have to do our best and pray nothing happens lol.
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