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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Being shut out of conversation



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amother
Ginger


 

Post Tue, Dec 26 2017, 12:28 am
I'd like to hear some ideas for how you'd handle this scenario. I recently drove in for a family simcha. My sister from Israel was also there and I was looking forward to catching up with her as I hardly every see her.

While we were talking someone else comes over and starts a conversation with my sister. I tried to insert myself into the convo but she made it clear she was only interested in talking to my sister.

So, I'm annoyed with her for edging me out, and at my sister for allowing it. I think I backed off at that point and went to look after my kids, and I never did get more time with my sister. (We are on good terms, my issue isn't really with her. )

My question is what would be a good way to handle such a scenario that doesn't seem either aggressive or self -pitying. I had some very rude/angry remarks on the tip of my tongue for that person but I restrained myself. What would be a polite approach?
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 26 2017, 12:46 am
Option #1:
Touch your sister lightly on the arm to get her attention. Say to the other woman, "Excuse me for one minute." Then turn to your sister and say, "Hey Rivka. We hardly ever get to see each other and I was so looking forward to talking with you. When you are finished talking to Miriam, please come to table 6. I'd really love to catch up." Then turn to the other woman and say "Mazal tov, nice meeting you." Smile and nod and wait at your table.

Option #2:
Just stand there and make your presence felt. Give eye signals to your sister to cut the conversation short.

Of course, your sister may have wanted to speak with this other woman. She, living abroad, probably also has lots of people who don't see her so often. Did you have other opportunities (other than the simcha itself -- sheva brachot, shabbat, etc.) to chat with her?
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