Is it possible to be influential without money or yichus?

amother

Ivory

Tue, Jan 09 2018, 9:11 pm

I was discussing with my dh if being "influential" is a skill that can be taught or not. My dh thinks that a lot has to do with money, if you are wealthy people will listen to you. Also if you are annoying and willing to make a lot of "noise". I think yichus also plays a role but I also think that personality and communication skills also do and that there are skills you can learn to be influential. thoughts? Personal experience?

tigerwife

Tue, Jan 09 2018, 9:20 pm

I believe that influential people:

A. Have a highly charismatic personality combined with strong ambition to make changes.

B. Experienced circumstances that pushed them into the spotlight, and they manage to ride the wave with grace.

I don't see wealth or yichus correlating directing with influence, although they may give a person a confidence to form the ambition.

amother

Ivory

Tue, Jan 09 2018, 9:23 pm

do you think charismatic personality can be taught?

I want to add that I'm talking specifically in the frum world and not the world at large.

allthingsblue

Tue, Jan 09 2018, 9:25 pm

amother wrote:

do you think charismatic personality can be taught?

I want to add that I'm talking specifically in the frum world and not the world at large.

Taught? No. Learned to some degree? Yes.

shoshanim999

Tue, Jan 09 2018, 9:28 pm

Is it possible? Yes. However, overwhelmingly, the people who are influential either have money or yichus. A friend of mine was telling me that she is trying to get her daughter into a particular high school next year. At this point the school is not accepting her. My friend has a list around 8 names deep that she will ask to call and pressure the school on her behalf. Do you think any of them are just simple nice people? Of course not. Her list is a combination of well known rabbanim and money people. My friend is right. These are indeed the people who the school may listen to.

This is just the way it is.

simba

Tue, Jan 09 2018, 9:29 pm

amother wrote:

do you think charismatic personality can be taught?

I want to add that I'm talking specifically in the frum world and not the world at large.

Can you teach someone to be shy?

amother

Ivory

Tue, Jan 09 2018, 9:35 pm

shoshanim999- so we aren't the only ones feeling like that. It's just so frustrating. There are good people with good ideas who are willing to work hard for the klal but it seems that usually they will end up just doing what other people ask them, you know setting up for an event, making phone calls for a fundraiser, putting together tables, whatever it is they are skilled when really they have so much more to offer but no one wants to listen. It's frustrating to watch and it 's frustrating to experience when you are that person.

Yes they can start their own organization or whatever but when they see issues with how the community institutions are doing things they are pretty powerless.

fbmommy

Tue, Jan 09 2018, 10:04 pm

Influential people are those who get things done-whether due to money, being there at the right time, or having the right connections. Best way to get there would probably be to build connections to people that can help, and then act as a conduit between them and others. That can be done-think Dale Carnegie type skills

Hashem_Yaazor

Tue, Jan 09 2018, 10:06 pm

Depends on what you consider influential. How many people are you trying to influence? Do you realize you can impact one person's life who will go and impact more people, thereby increasing your influence?

I have no money and no yichus and I still feel that I matter and can make a difference. It's not earth shattering and news making and by far I will not become famous (nor do I want to be Smile

) but on my own level, I've been able to positively help many people in different areas. Whether it's from online communication or non-virtual life (smaller communities are more conducive to this), I definitely feel like I've been able to gain credibility in certain matters and yes influence positive change.

amother

Ivory

Tue, Jan 09 2018, 10:08 pm

so this conversation got started because I recommended to dh to read Dale Carnegie's book. He seemed to think in the frum world even reading such a book wouldn't help.

When I said yichus I included connections, dh has none. Why can't getting things done be based on actually getting things done. Some people are hard workers and "get things done".

amother

Slateblue

Tue, Jan 09 2018, 10:09 pm

amother wrote:

ah - so its not influence - its power that you are talking about. I was trying to figure out what you meant.

In organizations where keeping people with the money happy is the back of 'leaderships' mind - its very hard to break-in.

amother

Cerulean

Tue, Jan 09 2018, 10:10 pm

I would label myself as influential. I come from a BT family and don't have big money.
I get involved in high profile issues, I am not intimidated by money or yichus, if and when I need something from someone I get it done.
I am charismatic, personable and persuasive. I really care.

That's what it takes.

fbmommy

Tue, Jan 09 2018, 10:11 pm

Because how do you know what needs to be done? If you are connected you can discover issues, and people will contact you when they have an issue they need solved.
What kind of "things" do you have in mind?

Mommyg8

Tue, Jan 09 2018, 11:49 pm

I'm wondering how you would define "influential"? What type of accomplishment qualifies?

Is a Rosh Yeshiva influential? A second grade rebbe? A therapist? A congressman? Or just someone that people turn to for advice?
What's your definition?

crust

Wed, Jan 10 2018, 12:27 am

Mommyg8 wrote:

This.

I don't have money and I don't have (the nerve to think better of myself because of my) yichus.

I am a very influential person. I influence one person at a time. Sometimes that person is myself.