Tell Me About Your Transition to Number 2

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Post  Thu, Jan 11 2018, 8:49 pm
I'm not sure where to put this...
I'm bH expecting my second and while I know that everyone's experience is different, I'm interested to hear about how your transition to 2 went. Feel free to add a comparison to number 1, the age and gender of your kids, season, or whatever else you'd like!!
Thanks so much!!
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Post  Thu, Jan 11 2018, 9:01 pm
My second was born 15 months after my first. The labor and delivery were MUCH easier and the entire transition and recuperation was much easier and faster. I don't remember struggling over the fact that I had a toddler and a newborn. He was too young to understand in the beginning and thought this new creature was funny. Like all toddlers I had to keep an eye on the older one to make sure he wasn't hurting the baby and he always jumped all over me as soon as I started nursing. But all in all it was a smoothe ride. Wishing you the same!
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Post  Thu, Jan 11 2018, 10:24 pm
I was actually thinking of posting tonight something similar. I recently had my second and my older one is about 18 months. The hardest part I find is when they both need you at once or they are both crying. Also if your newborn just wants to be held, it can be difficult to take care of your older one. Still trying to figure out how to balance everything.

Boruch Hashem, my older one loves her baby sister, and I am not dealing with any jealousy issues (although you can never leave the two of them together alone as she doesn't realize how delicate a baby is).
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Post  Fri, Jan 12 2018, 1:44 am
Well, I delivered DD and then 5 minutes later DS arrived.....
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Post  Fri, Jan 12 2018, 1:45 am
My biggest fear when I was pregnant with my second was two-fold:
1. That I was somehow "betraying" my child (who was almost 3) by having another baby.
2. That I would never be able to love another child as much as I love first child.

Both fears were groundless. Toddler (now preschooler, really) is a naturally nurturing child, and was thrilled with the new addition, and I can't even describe how much I love the baby. I look back at those fears and laugh.

In terms of transition, it was super hard to deal with a needy toddler in the very beginning when I was still sore and the baby nursed all the time, and I needed a lot of extra hands. But after the first 6 weeks or so, it got easier.

It's funny because after my first I was on bc for 18 months and was terrified of having another baby. I finally went of bc because I intellectually wanted another kid and didn't want too much space between them. But I wasn't really ready emotionally - hence the fears I mentioned above.

Once I had two kids and saw that it's not how I thought it would be, I declined to take bc at all. (Although I'm still nursing clean at 10 months pp.) I think 3 kids will be easier than 2, actually.
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Post  Fri, Jan 12 2018, 2:17 am
With my first I had a really rough ride, with the labour, recovery and he was an extremely difficult baby - he had silent reflux and was up screaming round the clock litrally throughout nights and days!! I had always heard the second child is the hardest transition but just 2 months ago I had my second and with her I had a regular labour and she has only very minor reflux nothing like my first and all in all she's such a good baby kah! that even now with 2 of then Ive really found it way way easier! He's just turned 2 and he's so gentle around her, he absolutely loves her so that also makes things easier!
What also could have played a part was that my first was born 9 months 2 weeks after my wedding Hypnotized so ye I was NOT ready and the transition of single-married-pregnant-mother was a lot faster than my emotions could take it!!!
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Post  Fri, Jan 12 2018, 11:00 am
My first 2 kids were only 13 months apart. I found that my recovery from my 2nd was much easier than my first, even though my 2nd ended up being a c-section. Since my first was still so little, practically still a baby herself, she was too young to be jealous. After a few days she probably couldn't even remember a time without the baby! All in all I don't remember it being that difficult a transition. Yes, there were definitely moments here and there that were difficult and overwhelming, but overall it wasn't so hard. Again, since my older one was still so little she was still taking pretty long naps during the day so I could get stuff done. I think a lot of it also had to do with the fact that my first was also such an easygoing baby and even at that young an age was happy playing by herself. I also continued to send her out to the babysitter during the day so I had time at home with just the baby. I actually found that my other transitions were harder when I had an older toddler (between 2 to 2 1/2 years between my other kids). At that age they are old enough to be jealous of baby getting attention (even if they still love baby), they are no longer napping, and overall they needed a lot more of my attention. Hatzlacha and B'shaa Tova!
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