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Chasunah invitations - what do you think?
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pink flower









  


Post  Fri, Jan 12 2018, 10:59 am
I have just received a bunch of invitations one nicer than the other, read them, made a note of them in my calendar and trashed the cards.

I'm thinking, isn't it a waste of money? so much time energy and money is put in to this and where these cards end??

Lets say, when I'm invited to the dinner, but why post chupa cards?

Chansuna expenses are high as it is, why waste even more...
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lfab









  


Post  Fri, Jan 12 2018, 11:03 am
I agree. I don't understand why people waste money on fancy invitations (even if they can afford it it just ends up in the garbage). Just a simple invitation so people can have the information about date, time, and location is enough.
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pink flower









  


Post  Fri, Jan 12 2018, 11:08 am
And by the way, when I'm invited to a dinner I usually get a phone call from a family member to reconfirm my attendance.

I wonder if the time spent over these cards are not greater than what it would take to actually personally telephone invite your guests and friends, one can always place an invitation in the local advertisers to reach those not managed to call.
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amother




Mustard


Post  Fri, Jan 12 2018, 11:12 am
Being a BT I understand the not frum world.
Fancy invitation in the NOT frum world sets the tone of the Simcha.
How to dress, etc.
The fancier the Simcha the bigger the cash gift.
I know a lot of people that make a VERY fancy invitation, VERY expensive venue and then a simple Simcha when it comes to food, no bar, a lot less flowers, and a DJ with is a lot less expensive then a band.
Yes it’s all about the gifts.
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Squishy









  


Post  Fri, Jan 12 2018, 11:15 am
It is about conspicuous consumption. I am better because my invitations are better. People allow their worth to be defined by material displays.
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SixOfWands









  


Post  Fri, Jan 12 2018, 11:19 am
pink flower wrote:
And by the way, when I'm invited to a dinner I usually get a phone call from a family member to reconfirm my attendance.

I wonder if the time spent over these cards are not greater than what it would take to actually personally telephone invite your guests and friends, one can always place an invitation in the local advertisers to reach those not managed to call.


My friend is making a wedding this summer. The kallah alone has over 50 first cousins, all of whom are invited. Plus the kallah's friends. Not to mention the chassan. And the parents' friends. That's 300 couples? More? At 5 minutes a call, that would take 25 hours on the phone. Not to mention the fact that people will forget, or not be able to respond immediately.

If you want to do that, enjoy. But no one I know has the time or energy for that, as opposed to a printed invitation.


Last edited by SixOfWands on Fri, Jan 12 2018, 12:17 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Magenta


Post  Fri, Jan 12 2018, 11:24 am
Thinking about how much money was spent on our wedding invitations (and ours were pretty but simple, not over the top) -- it really added up. There was the cost of the invitation itself, with all the components: envelopes and reply cards and direction cards and registry cards) plus all the postage plus the calligrapher (I don't know if people still pay for this or if it's all done by computer printer now). It could have been $1000 when all is said and done and that was 20 years ago. That money could easily be used towards other expenses if it became acceptable to do evite type invitations -- which are really so much more convenient in so many ways -- tracking guests, following up with reminders, guests being able to access time, date and location easily when needed instead of searching all over for lost invitation. I hope by the time my kids are getting married I can get away with this.
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amother




Blonde


Post  Fri, Jan 12 2018, 11:26 am
My experience doesn’t match Mustard’s although that may be the case in her previous community. The invitation sets the tone but in my experience, the elaborateness of the simcha isn’t connected to the expected gift, I grew up in a not-Frum OOT community. Then and now (major OOT city MO crowd), We all give the same level of gift to every simcha of its sort that we are invited to. Bar Mitzvah with dinner—one gift. Bar Mitzvah with just party for the kids—same gift. Big wedding with $20.00 invitation gets the same gift as smaller wedding with modest invitation. I’m not going for the food but for the love and simcha. A more formal invitation means I get more dressed up. Zeh hu.
Also, very very nice and expensive-looking invitations are available for very reasonable prices on sites like minted.com. I used them for DD1’s wedding (invitations with matching thank you notes )for a really low price and they looked like the expensive ones.
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amother




Copper


Post  Fri, Jan 12 2018, 12:08 pm
Hey Imamothers - I love receiving a nice cream colored envelope in my mailbox it stands out among the bills and junk. I love having beautiful invitations plastered on my fridge! I love how it gives me a focal point of something to look forward to! Thanks so much for spending the extra! I really appreciate it!
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amother




Magenta


Post  Fri, Jan 12 2018, 12:18 pm
amother wrote:
Hey Imamothers - I love receiving a nice cream colored envelope in my mailbox it stands out among the bills and junk. I love having beautiful invitations plastered on my fridge! I love how it gives me a focal point of something to look forward to! Thanks so much for spending the extra! I really appreciate it!


You have such a good attitude. To be honest, when I see that large cream colored envelope, all I see is another bill.
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amother




Copper


Post  Fri, Jan 12 2018, 12:44 pm
amother wrote:
You have such a good attitude. To be honest, when I see that large cream colored envelope, all I see is another bill.


At least its a pretty bill!
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amother




Cobalt


Post  Fri, Jan 12 2018, 12:53 pm
I enjoy to receive the elegant invitations. It makes me look forward to the simcha. I can imagine the joy it is for the Baal simcha to send such pretty invitations!
I will print the cheapest invitations because, um, that's me and my financial situation.
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bsy









  


Post  Fri, Jan 12 2018, 1:24 pm
I agree it's the last thing to waste money on when making a wedding. It literally goes straight into the garbage and does not make the wedding any nicer. When I got married, we had a plain white card with black flat print and a monogram on the cover. It looked very standard and classy. It was slightly smaller than the standard size, but not noticeable unless lined up with another invitation. It did not affect my 6 wedding in any way.
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Raisin









  


Post  Sat, Jan 13 2018, 1:19 pm
I agree with all of you. I think a wedding does warrant a printed invitation. They don't need to be expensive or over the top though. No idea about printing prices since I printed my own for my kids bar/bas mitzvas. Bought nice card and envelopes and we did layout at home and printed them. I think they cost less then a dollar each. We didn't include an envelope for the reply card. .
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amother




Taupe


Post  Sat, Jan 13 2018, 1:25 pm
In my community, more and more people send evites. I love them. They are decorative and set a tone but aren't a waste of time, money and paper. It's also much easier to keep track of responses. I think it's just a matter of time until this becomes the standard.
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amother




Taupe


Post  Sat, Jan 13 2018, 1:32 pm
Deleted double post.
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Iymnok









  


Post  Sat, Jan 13 2018, 1:58 pm
We printed ours at Officemax on cardstock. Dh and I came up with the wording, I designed the monogram and we agreed on a nice font with our names in fancy, curly type.
Addresses were printed onto stickers and the whole family folded, stuffed and addressed the envelopes.

I went with an engaged friend to a meeting with a printer for their invitations. He tried to get them to put every conceivable card in the envelope. He said that a preaddressed, stamped reply card and envelope gets returned with a check or cash inside. It sounded like a sales pitch to buy more of his product.

We made an email address to respond to as most people now. I've gotten many invites as email only, as an attachment sometimes.

All a fancy invitation tells me is that the baalei simcha have money to spend.
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Debbie









  


Post  Sat, Jan 13 2018, 3:15 pm
Pink Flower, I could not agree with you more.
My daughter got married a couple of months ago, and we chose not to send Chuppah cards; as my husband said it's a waste of money.
The details of the chuppah and the dancing were put in a couple of local advertisers, and on a daily simcha sheet.
People thought we were very sensible only sending out dinner invitations.
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amother




Brown


Post  Sat, Jan 13 2018, 3:46 pm
The place that printed our wedding invitations employs adults with special needs - so the money went to help support people who otherwise might not be able to be productive members of society and provide for themselves financially.
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shabbatiscoming









  


Post  Sat, Jan 13 2018, 4:04 pm
I also think email invitations are becoming more and more common place. I think that is the best situation. You can still make it beautiful but no trees die in that process and they dont get lost and you can make a reminder about the invitation in your email as you get it.
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