need 3 yr old to stay in her bed the whole night!!!!

chocolatecake

Mon, Jan 15 2018, 9:37 am

My 3 year old visits me during the night. It used to be an occasional thing and I ignored but now its every night and its getting earlier and earlier. I can't just lock my door because I am in a building and shell kick at my door and wake the neighbors the up. Last night every time she came I would walk her back to her bed and stay with her for a few minutes but within 20 minutes she was back in my bed and after doing this a good five times I wanted to go to sleep already so I just gave up and let her stay in my bed when she came back. any advice? I want my bed back!

FranticFrummie

Mon, Jan 15 2018, 10:00 am

Go to YouTube, and watch Nanny Jo deal with it.

The problem is that you're giving her too much attention. Take her back to bed, don't say a word, and leave the room.

She'll possibly pop up 50 times a night, so just keep putting her back quietly.
The next night she'll pop up 15 to 20 times, but stay strong.
By the end of the week she'll realize you are not there to entertain her, and she'll stay in bed.

Do NOT break the pattern and give her attention! If you must say anything, the first time you put her back, tell her "It's bedtime. I'll see you in the morning." and then quickly leave the room. After that, NO TALKING.

Remember, your voice is a powerful reinforcer, whether you are being kind or scolding, it doesn't matter. It's a reward for her behavior. Withold that reinforcement, and you can create a new pattern. If she stays in bed all night, give her praise when she gets up on time.

amother

Aquamarine

Mon, Jan 15 2018, 10:09 am

I actually didn't know this is a special method that ff mentioned, but I use it with my DD and it doesn't help Sad

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She is 3 as well and visits me 3-5 times a night. I don't give her any attention and usually don't speak with her at all, just take her back to her bed and cover her. Seems like thats all she wants, but I wish I can get her to stop waking me and dragging me out of bed.

allthingsblue

Mon, Jan 15 2018, 10:35 am

I just finished a chart.
I made a chart for sleeping the whole night in his room, and the priZe was going out for ice cream. It took a while, with some relapses, but I focused on his progress and it's a lot better than before.

mha3484

Mon, Jan 15 2018, 10:39 am

My three year old is like this but I think he has scary dreams. We made up something called scary spray and we pretend to spray it and tell the scary dreams to go away. It has been helping the past few nights.

simba

Mon, Jan 15 2018, 10:39 am

No advice because I am not willing to implement any methods in middle of my sleep! My 3 yr old climbs into my bed every night at some point and joins me until morning time! I truly don't mind so much. When baby comes we will deal with it!

amother

Slategray

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 5:01 pm

We used a combination of the following:

1) Gate on the door. If she climbs over, stack 2 gates (but the top one must be a screw in, not pressure mounted for safety)
2) Ok to Wake Clock so she knows when morning is (lights up bright green at the time yo set as morning), along without blackout shades so light earlier won't make her think it's morning
3) Silent return to bed method (what FF described) if you can't use gates or if you need to go in for any reason
4) Reward every morning immediately if she stayed in bed all night and only got up when the clock lit up

Most importantly, do not let her stay in your bed or you'll have to start over and it will be harder! I have a completely off limits policy on my bed, all the time, even during the day. I also explained to her that the new rule is no children in my bed ever - hearing it helps too.

Shoshana37

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 8:20 pm

I had this problem with each and every single child of mine and to be honest my youngest is 6 now and sometimes she still comes to my bed but most of the nights she doesn’t she is growing out of it. But to be truly honest I’m missing it a lot . I remember the time when they all ended up on our bed some by the legs and some on the sides, sometimes we would sneak out of our own room to go sleep on their beds and looking back I truly missed it.
I know you probably don’t want to read this but cherish these moments because they do grow up so very fast.

amother

Amber

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 8:34 pm

amother wrote:

For #4- I gave DD 5 chocolate chips With breakfast if she stayed in bed all night.