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Why does Brooklyn have such a bad rap?
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amother
Copper


 

Post Sun, Jan 21 2018, 5:42 am
I have lived in Lakewood for much of my life. People (from Lakewood and out of town) often refer to Brooklyn as unfriendly, snobby etc. I’ve been to Brooklyn often but not so much in recent years. I was there recently and I noticed that people were so friendly! Everywhere I went I had such a pleasant experience. When I go to Lakewood I feel like people are unfriendly or stare etc.. and I’m trying to figure out why Brooklyn has the snobby reputation.
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 21 2018, 5:48 am
amother wrote:
I have lived in Lakewood for much of my life. People (from Lakewood and out of town) often refer to Brooklyn as unfriendly, snobby etc. I’ve been to Brooklyn often but not so much in recent years. I was there recently and I noticed that people were so friendly! Everywhere I went I had such a pleasant experience. When I go to Lakewood I feel like people are unfriendly or stare etc.. and I’m trying to figure out why Brooklyn has the snobby reputation.

I have the same opinion. I live in Monsey and when I go to Brooklyn I feel friendlier vibes there than I do here. My DH thinks it's all in my head , because he despises Brooklyn because of its snobby reputation . I find it to be happy friendly place too, though I go there like once a year.
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Simple1




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 21 2018, 5:51 am
I don't feel like Brooklyn has a snobby reputation - but it is a big city so it's not going to have that small town close knit feel.

In Lakewood it really really depends on the neighborhood, some are snobby, some are very warm and friendly and some are neither here nor there.
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amother
Lawngreen


 

Post Sun, Jan 21 2018, 6:05 am
I don't get it either. I find suburban communities much more snobby and judgmental than Brooklyn (which I never found to be either). Maybe because there's not as much to do out here, so people get more into your business. I guess Brooklyn can be a bit aggressive, because you need a bit of that in big city living, but I never encountered anything close to the level of vapid materialism and judgmental nastiness that I've experienced since leaving.
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Sun, Jan 21 2018, 6:07 am
Maybe the Brooklyn people moved to lakewood?
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amother
Linen


 

Post Sun, Jan 21 2018, 6:13 am
I don’t think they are snobby.
They are just in a rush to the point they don’t realize you are there.
But I’m not a good Erwin to ask because I live in Miami, life is just a bit slower pace (patient) here.
For example, we make a full stop at stop signs.
We don’t honk when someone is pulling out of a parking space, we patiently wait, and give them enough space. We don’t push at the supermarket to get in front to get something from the fridge or freezer.
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amother
Amber


 

Post Sun, Jan 21 2018, 6:21 am
I'm originally from Brooklyn. I remember how miserable I was in camp and even more so in seminary from all the endless knocking I got from the out of town girls for being from Brooklyn (what a wonderful display of middos...)

Back then I really felt inferior because I really believed it. After I got married I moved out of town. Currently I live in Lakewood. Suffice it say I'm disillusioned.

Yes an out of town place small enough to notice any stranger and a community which is strengthened by new members is going to act a lot more welcoming. But that is about as far as it goes.

The people I grew up with in Brooklyn were far less snobby, judgmental or materialistic than my current neighbors are.And a lot more freindly. I wish I lived in that community today.
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Sun, Jan 21 2018, 6:23 am
It's difficult to have a disagreement about something that is a fact, but my experience having lived in Bklyn for many years is that In general the people aren't friendly. For example neighbors who live down the block will have virtually nothing to do with each other. For me, the worst part about Bklyn is the insane, horrible, completely awful congestion situation. This included both the pathetic parking situation and the ridiculous amount of time it takes to maneuver in certain areas to get from point A to point B. Ever try driving down Avenue J near Coney Island on Friday afternoon, and then finding a spot? I think it's a form of torture they would use in North Korea. Thank gd I left when got married. Still go back to visit family that are still trying to get out. In a way the time back is helpful in that it reminds me to appreciate what I have now.
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Boca00




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 21 2018, 6:26 am
amother wrote:
I have lived in Lakewood for much of my life. People (from Lakewood and out of town) often refer to Brooklyn as unfriendly, snobby etc. I’ve been to Brooklyn often but not so much in recent years. I was there recently and I noticed that people were so friendly! Everywhere I went I had such a pleasant experience. When I go to Lakewood I feel like people are unfriendly or stare etc.. and I’m trying to figure out why Brooklyn has the snobby reputation.


Interesting, because my sister in law goes to a certain shul in Lakewood every year for yamim noraaim, and said that in all the years she went, this was the first year that anyone even said hi to her! Makes Lakewood sound really snobby, right? And from posts here, you would also get that impression.

I went to that SAME shul on Simchas Torah and everyone was so incredibly friendly! Introducing themself, schmoozing for a while, telling me if I ever move there I should come visit them...

I guess that in large communities, it's got to a combo of being in the right place at the right time.
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leah233




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 21 2018, 6:35 am
Boca00 wrote:
Interesting, because my sister in law goes to a certain shul in Lakewood every year for yamim noraaim, and said that in all the years she went, this was the first year that anyone even said hi to her! Makes Lakewood sound really snobby, right? And from posts here, you would also get that impression.

I went to that SAME shul on Simchas Torah and everyone was so incredibly friendly! Introducing themself, schmoozing for a while, telling me if I ever move there I should come visit them...


There is a difference between how friendly people act on Simchas Torah and the Yamim Noraaim. Even an unfriendly shul will act friendlier on Simchas Torah.

Also it could be the people in the shul saw you as a person they would welcome into their clique but didn't view your sister in law as one. So they acted friendly to you but not to her.


Last edited by leah233 on Sun, Jan 21 2018, 11:02 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Jetblack


 

Post Sun, Jan 21 2018, 6:40 am
I love brooklyn. Don't know bout all neighborhoods. But noone bothers me noone yents and ppl ARE nice. But I cant see meals being sent after birth type situation. Maybe some blocks. Which is fine by me. I don't believe in very strong community connection. Harder to raise children in.I feel it creates the pear pressure and politics that suburbs have.
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amother
Blue


 

Post Sun, Jan 21 2018, 6:43 am
amother wrote:
I don’t think they are snobby.
They are just in a rush to the point they don’t realize you are there.
But I’m not a good Erwin to ask because I live in Miami, life is just a bit slower pace (patient) here.
For example, we make a full stop at stop signs.
We don’t honk when someone is pulling out of a parking space, we patiently wait, and give them enough space. We don’t push at the supermarket to get in front to get something from the fridge or freezer.


I'm from Brooklyn and I do the same. Not everyone is pushy here.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 21 2018, 6:44 am
There's a city feel to Brooklyn because it is a boro in NYC after all.
About not knowing the neighbors down the block, yes it's true you might only know the 20 families that are around your home and not the 30 other families at the end of the block. But then again OOT you usually know the 20 families closest to your home too. Believe me, it's not intentional and there's no malicious intent. If you live on the block long enough, and are outside during the times that most children are out, eventually you do get to know the people further out as well.
I find people to be quite friendly, though we're all living the frenetic NY city life, always busy and running.
When I moved, even though it was the dead of winter, the families closest to my home who noticed us moving in all came over individuality to drop something off for shabbos. It was beautiful.
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Boca00




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 21 2018, 6:45 am
leah233 wrote:
There is a difference between how friendly people act on Simchas Torah and the Yamim Noraaim. Even an unfriendly shul will act friendlier on Simchas Torah.


For sure, which is why I said that I guess that in large communities, it's got to be a combo of being in the right place at the right time.

In OOT communities, everyone will more likely be friendly and welcoming no matter where you are. In larger communities, people will be friendlier at the nail salon or while waiting for PTA, for example, than while rushing at the grocery.
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amother
Jetblack


 

Post Sun, Jan 21 2018, 6:45 am
Parking and congestion is a different issue. Obviously don't go to j and coney erev shbs. Just like going down the 9 in lkwd these days! And parking?! It's a matter of perspective. I believe noone is exempt from stress. In brooklyn it's parking in lkwd it's other things
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livinginflatbus




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 21 2018, 6:50 am
I’ve lived in Brooklyn all my life and never saw the snobbiness that everyone talks about . I believe personality depends on the person not the community. When I went to camp girls from out of town told me “I can’t believe your from Brooklyn , your too nice for that “. Talk about misconceptions
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Mommyg8




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 21 2018, 6:54 am
Brooklyn is large. There is a difference between Boro Park, Williamsburg, and Flatbush. And there are different sub-neighborhoods in each one. I have not lived in all three, but I'm guessing Flatbush, with a more suburban set-up, is more friendly than other (more congested) parts of Brooklyn.
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 21 2018, 6:57 am
livinginflatbus wrote:
I’ve lived in Brooklyn all my life and never saw the snobbiness that everyone talks about . I believe personality depends on the person not the community. When I went to camp girls from out of town told me “I can’t believe your from Brooklyn , your too nice for that “. Talk about misconceptions

I get that comment all the time. People meet me and always say "You don't act like you are from Brooklyn, I would never dream" .
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amother
Gray


 

Post Sun, Jan 21 2018, 7:02 am
I live in Brooklyn and find that most people are very nice! !!when I gave birth tons of people helped me out in all ways, offering and taking other kids, sending foods etc. There are all types all over but you shouldn't judge people by the way they dress
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Sun, Jan 21 2018, 7:04 am
Brooklyn has wonderful, friendly people and not so wonderful or friendly people.....just like Monsey, Lakewood, Chicago, Los Angeles and Minneapolis. One can never generalize and experiences are often bassed on our current status in life or even our mood.
I currently live in Brooklyn, have a lot of family out of town, and visit often. I'm always happy to come back to Brooklyn. It does have a large city vibe, hence the rushed and cramped and congested feel, but it has lots of advantages that anyone out of town can only dream of.
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