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Forum -> Working Women
Do you love your job?
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amother


 

Post Sat, Oct 27 2007, 11:40 pm
I never did, until recently.

Over the years, I did a lot of different things parnassah-wise, and thought I liked them well enough. All I can say now is: I never knew what I was missing! I recently started doing something I had always dreamed of doing, and b"H I feel so different. My husband comments on how happy I am, and it's true. I have an excitement and energy that I haven't had in sooo long. I'm calm and relaxed with the kids, and overall I just feel optimistic and b'simcha--and all because I'm doing something that's a really good fit for my personality and talents. I really hope my daughters are able to feel like this when they're older and working.

I just wanted to let you ladies know, never give up on your dreams! If there's something you really want to do, then at the right time, with hard work and siyata d'Shamaya, you'll be able to do it--and it feels so wonderful! I really thought I was too old to try this. But b"H it is working out beautifully.

Hodu l'Hashem ki tov, ki l'olam chasdo.
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pinkbubbles




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 28 2007, 4:28 am
I'm so curious to what it is that you've startd!

me personally I love a job when it is something I'm learning in and I have a good environment, like a good boss and its not a huge trek away from the house, etc.
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Mevater




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 28 2007, 4:32 am
redfireli wrote:
I'm so curious to what it is that you've startd!

me personally I love a job when it is something I'm learning in and I have a good environment, like a good boss and its not a huge trek away from the house, etc.
Many will be curious after that description. LOL
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shopaholic




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 29 2007, 8:58 am
I love my job, but don't love the fact that I have to work. I'd rather be at home.
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NotInNJMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 29 2007, 9:09 am
I agree with mom of 3...I guess if parnossah weren't an issue, I'd like to work part time....or less (ie. the month before pesach, tishrei, etc.)

but BH since circumstances are such that I must work full time now, I'm blessed with my work (although I wouldn't mind if it paid more!) Smile
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 29 2007, 9:27 am
Storyof my life...
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TzenaRena




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 29 2007, 9:43 am
It's been very elusive for me. I know what I would love doing, but I've never had the chance to, or should I say been given the chance. I've done other sorts of things, not a good fit, and not a good pay.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 29 2007, 10:11 am
nope, I dont like my job really right now, but I have to stay at it until may or june. then I will see what I want to do.
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HealthCoach




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2007, 8:04 pm
I would also love you know what OP loves doing so much. I would love to go to medical school and specialize in Environmental Medicine. I don't dream about it too much though, because it's never going to happen.
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amother


 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2007, 8:35 pm
I love being a mother! thats the job I have and it uses all my talents Wink
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Tehilla




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 05 2007, 4:34 am
I feel like I could have written that post! B"H I have a great job after years of tears and tefilos that doesn't cause me to sacrifice on my family! I can give them the first priority and best care they deserve, and bring in the parnassa that we must have (and fyi no cell phones, car is paid for, no vacations!). I always get upset when someone assumes I'm working because of "extras." Anyway--B"H it's a beautiful job that complements my beautiful family.
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bigmomma




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 05 2007, 5:59 am
Pray, tell OP, enlighten us please. What is it that you are doing that you love so much??
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amother


 

Post Mon, Nov 05 2007, 6:28 am
I really enjoy my job, but I'm anon because by saying that I know a stay at home mom is going to jump down my throat again and say if I like my job I must not like my kids (happened on another thread)

One of the reasons I like the job is I have flexibility to spend more time with my kids...but does that help others' perceptions? After years of begging me to get a job to support my family (dh doesn't work) my MIL uses every opportunity to tell me every nightmare story she hears on the news about babysitters...

So don't go around telling everyone you love your job. Unless you are a MAN (and even then, Frum guys shouldn't say they love their jobs because it implies he prefers it to 'Torah Study) [/code]
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 05 2007, 7:54 am
Quote:
So don't go around telling everyone you love your job. Unless you are a MAN


come on...


Quote:
and even then, Frum guys shouldn't say they love their jobs because it implies he prefers it to 'Torah Study


come on...
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chavamom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 05 2007, 7:58 am
Why does the OP make me feel like I'm being set up for some MLM spam?
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JewishMother18




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 05 2007, 9:44 am
I set up my own business during the last year and finally love what I am doing. I don't want to divulge too much as I don't want to lose my anonymity (sp?) but it's in property.

I work from a home office so I have the best of both worlds. I see the kids out to school in the morning and I'm here when they get home. I try and do all the running around I have to do during the morning hours so that I'm available for them in the afternoon.

My office phone is directed to my mobile phone which means that when I switch it off I don't get bothered by any calls - no-one has my home number.

I spent years and years being bullied by many different bosses - most of them female. I even had a nervous breakdown working for one of them! I lost all confidence in myself and believed I was totally worthless. I learned that I would never do much in my life because I was "stupid".

B"H I'm well away from that world and in fact I should be thankful to all of these people as they've taught me to be the person I am today and I know that I will NEVER treat my staff with anything but total respect. Sometimes I have to stop and take stock and look at the new me - sitting with lawyers and accountants and clients from all over the world.

Hashem sends us our challenges for who knows what reason - I have found out now why I had to suffer so much for so many years - Baruch Hashem.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2007, 8:21 am
Chavamom, Sad , I'm the OP. Sorry you felt that my post was weird. Sad I just was excited and wanted to share and I can see why you thought what you did but that's totally not what I was doing, I just wanted to tell people about my experience. As for the people who wanted to know what my job is, I don't want to say because it's a somewhat unusual job and people who know me would recognize me, but it's a creative job where I'm my own boss.

Crying Crying People, please please don't be snarky and cynical when you post, I really feel like imamother is so full of critical and unkind posts, unlike other, non-Jewish, boards I'm on. Why is it like this among us??? Sad

There are a lot of people out there who work at jobs they don't love, in order to pay the bills. I wanted to give chizuk to them, because I went through that for a long time and never knew how wonderful it would feel to finally find something that uses my kochos well. Not everybody, b"H, has experienced the nisayon of working jobs they hate, but some of you out there know what I'm talking about.

Rereading my post, I understand why it would seem cheesy and lame. Crying It DOES sound like those stupid things they try to hook people with. Which makes me wonder: why is it that thousands of posts where people kvetch and moan are totally normal, but when someone writes a happy and upbeat post it's cause for suspicion? Confused Interesting world we live in.
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TzenaRena




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2007, 9:46 am
Quote:
I spent years and years being bullied by many different bosses - most of them female. I even had a nervous breakdown working for one of them! I lost all confidence in myself and believed I was totally worthless. I learned that I would never do much in my life because I was "stupid".

B"H I'm well away from that world and in fact I should be thankful to all of these people as they've taught me to be the person I am today
Jewish Mother, are you telling me there is hope? I'm having an awful time at what I'm doing, and making peanuts. It does makes me feel totally worthless, especially since a "dear" friend told me no one else had wanted the job. (can't say what to protect my privacy).

How did you leave that world? How did you start to believe in yourself when everyone told you you were stupid? Sad
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JewishMother18




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2007, 10:09 am
TzenaRena wrote:
Quote:
Jewish Mother, are you telling me there is hope? I'm having an awful time at what I'm doing, and making peanuts. It does makes me feel totally worthless, especially since a "dear" friend told me no one else had wanted the job. (can't say what to protect my privacy).

How did you leave that world? How did you start to believe in yourself when everyone told you you were stupid?
Sad


I so understand where you are coming from. I worked in a job that I didn't know so many people had done and left quickly before me and I fell into the hands of a b***h from h**l. She was so so mean and told me "if you're a mess on the outside then you're a mess on the inside, and frankly my dear you're a disgrace on the outside". I was absolutely mortified. I don't know how at that time I went back the following day. I was young and I didn't know any better. I then went overseas with the company for one month and she took away my passport and left me to fend for myself in a strange country with people who didn't speak a word of English and I didn't speak their language. You couldn't make calls from there and it was before mobile phones. I so wanted my DH and cried myself to sleep every night. I even sat on a window ledge one night and fully contemplated jumping. When I finally came home I was so ill. I had a nervous breakdown. Needless to say I didn't go back to work there.

The reason for telling you this is so that you'll understand that you can crawl back from anything. It may take time and other errors along the way but you are better than that and worth so much more that being treated like dirt. Your current job is not the only one available. There are others and better people to work with. You owe it to yourself to leave and find something better. Not everyone is cut out to be a business woman and you don't have to be to be respected and treated kindly.

It took me 18 years and some other disasters along the way but I finally grew up and with my wonderful DH behind me who constantly told me that I was worth so much more and was able to succeed on my own I finally got the courage to do it.

Believe in yourself and Hashem will show you the way. Remember also that ours is not to question why. I asked myself so many times "why me?". All of these experiences taught me valuable lessons and I finally had my answer as to why me.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2007, 12:15 pm
Jewish Mother, I'm the OP, and I can't believe your horrific story!! I also had one of those bosses at one point, although not nearly so bad as yours. I was newly married, expecting, thousands of mile from friends/family, and my husband was learning...so there was no choice but to go to work every day and hear mean, mean things said to me all day long. And my boss was a frum lady who was looking for a shidduch (a middle-aged divorcee). People used to ask me about her for shidduchim. It was so hard trying to give information about her. I finally quit because I was a total wreck. I would come home and go straight to bed, couldn't face the thought of going back to work the next day, I was horribly depressed and felt awful about myself.

I really think that this happens much more often than people realize with women...we end up in these jobs and it affects our self-esteem, & it can be devestating. As I have gotten older I have changed, I don't think I would stay more than a couple of days in such a situation, but of course, my husband is working now so the finances are different.

TzenaRena, have you looked at career advice books like What Color is Your Parachute? Taking simplified versions of the Myers-Briggs personality test is also a good way to start thinking about careers that might be better for you. If you want, post about what you're good at and what you enjoy doing, maybe we can help you brainstorm ideas. I love helping people with this sort of thing! I helped my husband get a great job which is perfect for him, which he had never even realized people get paid to do...so I'm serious, you should really post here if you want, and we'll see what we can think of that would be better for you! Smile
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