PSA- The sweet table is not for you to take home

33055

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 8:55 pm

amother wrote:

You can always send an anoymous post card, telling them that it is not proper, and may harm their chances for shiddichum, if asked about their middos. No one has to know who sent that letter. it is shul, and it could have came from anyone. Some people have no idea they are doing anything wrong.

You don't think an anonymous letter detailing their behavior is the worst thing to get?

octopus

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 8:55 pm

amother wrote:

Well, if you are going to say something, you should say it to their face. Why do you think anonymously is any better?

amother

Teal

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 9:00 pm

octopus wrote:

Well, if you are going to say something, you should say it to their face. Why do you think anonymously is any better?

Well she did say, no one has the guts to tell it them.

debsey

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 9:03 pm

amother wrote:

People should not take too many cookies, but I feel very sorry for any Baal Simcha who has their mind on anyone taking too many cookies.

Leaving with one or two is very normal.

Dont buy very expensive cookies if it will stress you to see anyone taking one or two.

If theyre watching and thinking someone taking one or two is too many, I think this means that they spent more than they can afford (theyre keeping up with the Joneses and Kleins as is typical in our community, monkey see monkey do whether they can afford it or not), and they arent focusing on and being grateful enough for the Simcha that theyre blessed with.

They can hang this helpful sign on every food table:

I don't think most Baalei Simcha are staring beadily at everyone who comes, making sure they only take their fair share. But I do think Baalei Simcha have the right to expect courtesy from their guests, and that they don't want to run out of desserts early because some people took (way more) than their fair share. It's not about keeping the cookies, or the miniatures, it's about making sure that the Baalei Simcha can welcome all their guests, even the latecomers, in a nice, respectable way.

amother

Periwinkle

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 9:35 pm

This thread reminds me of the months we spent in the hospital, we frequented the Bikur cholim room quite often. we watched people coming in and packing up bags with food. they were not there with a family member inpatient.
I can be dlkz to a point like- you come to an appointment and have a long drive home etc. but with some & the amount of food taken I can only say geneiva from tzedakah $...

southernbubby

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 9:45 pm

debsey wrote:

was this lady with the shopping bag an invited guest or a "bag lady"?

southernbubby

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 9:46 pm

amother wrote:

the worst type of advantage takers

Boca00

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 10:31 pm

ChutzPAh wrote:

So do these big pocketbooks have big plastic linings to hold all the food?

Brilliant idea. You should sell them with different sayings; "just taking it to go", "it's for my kids", "friend begged me to take stuff", and "nobody look".

Saves everyone else time in trying to figure out what on earth you are doing.

amother

Honeydew

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 10:38 pm

debsey wrote:

I honestly don't know. They were quite delicious, so maybe she just liked the taste? It was so strange, coming from someone who always seemed like a regular, socially appropriate person.

This is a good dan lekaf zechus story... who can think of a good explanation?!?
Maybe the woman who baked the cookies realized they were treif/contaminated somehow and was too embarrassed to say anything so this friend came to take them before they could be eaten:)

amother

Seagreen

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 10:39 pm

debsey wrote:

Well said!

amother

Seagreen

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 10:45 pm

amother wrote:

Oh come on! This happens a lot. This is a PSA to bring awareness.

amother

Chocolate

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 10:48 pm

WhatFor wrote:

Nice victim blaming, but have you read the stories over here? I have yet to see a single post where a woman complained about someone taking two or three cookies.

Im pretty sure someone a few pages back said that if everyone takes two theres nothing left for others.

Those who make Simchas and lots of people they invited are Chazerim and take way more than two, should reevaluate their guest list.

Mevater

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 10:59 pm

amother wrote:

Honestly, anyone who packs up food from a hospital Bikur Cholim and isnt feeding their starving family because theyre short of money, definitely has a mental illness, so theyre sick as well.

sweetdimples

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 11:28 pm

Boca00 wrote:

What do you mean it's for my babysitter!!!

amother

Periwinkle

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 11:29 pm

Mevater wrote:

Honestly, anyone who packs up food from a hospital Bikur Cholim and isnt feeding their starving family because theyre short of money, definitely has a mental illness, so theyre sick as well.

But that food is for patients/family members. plenty of times that I came down as a kimpeturin while my baby was in the nicu for a few months and had nothing to eat. I would run out first thing in the morning without having time to buy s/t to eat. I plenty starved. but anyway, going OT here...

33055

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 11:36 pm

amother wrote:

That's what the food is there for. When I used to go visit my mom when she was in isolation eruv Shabbos, I would leave my kids in the bikur cholim room. My kids told me that people would be dumping the food and taking the snacks and yogurts on their way out the door.

I feel bad for those who stayed for Shabbos.