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PSA- The sweet table is not for you to take home
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alis_al_kulana




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Feb 02 2018, 4:47 pm
Squishy wrote:
Sorry. I don't believe this nonsense. You walk up to people who are behaving inappropriately and tell them descreetly and they nearly always listened. This is not realistic.

We call solve all the world's problems with just a descreet whisper??? What are you the people whisperer?

Please come to my neighborhood and start whispering to all the moms that don't watch their kids or whisper to all the people without table manners or whisper to all the guys driving crazy rushing to mincha.

You can whisper to all the mother-in-laws and daughter in laws and son in laws.

I am sure you will change nothing.

You said you've never said anything to anyone.

You have a lot of criticisms of the frum community and no positive to say. We're dirty, impolite, don't care for our kids, and drove poorly.

Even if a few people fit your stereotypes, they are not universal or even common in the frum community.

I'm not sure if you're a troll or just some one who has nothing good to say.

I can tell you as someone who has been part of this community since birth, that I have found people to be very willing to listen to correction even from strangers. Provided it comes from a place of kindness and love.

Obviously you can't always say something, although by the examples above by kiddush or simcha it would be appropriate, but there are plentiful opportunities to say something.
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ValleyMom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Feb 02 2018, 6:32 pm
I never take anything home from an event HOWEVER recently I have noticed a trend of having a sweet table WITH festive baggies or gift boxes... I assumed this was for guests to make a little treat bag/box to take home. I put a few gumballs in a bag for my kids. The last event had a station with gourmet popcorn from some fancy shcmancy popcorn company- with festive party bags and twist ties. I'm again, assuming the guests were encouraged to take a bag of popcorn home as a party favor. That's why the twist tie closures were on the table as well... right??!!!

I have never ever seen grown ups leave with platters of lox or deli- that is beyond weird. What's next? The linen table cloths and napkins??!!
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 03 2018, 8:16 pm
alis_al_kulana wrote:
You said you've never said anything to anyone.

You have a lot of criticisms of the frum community and no positive to say. We're dirty, impolite, don't care for our kids, and drove poorly.

Even if a few people fit your stereotypes, they are not universal or even common in the frum community.

I'm not sure if you're a troll or just some one who has nothing good to say.

I can tell you as someone who has been part of this community since birth, that I have found people to be very willing to listen to correction even from strangers. Provided it comes from a place of kindness and love.

Obviously you can't always say something, although by the examples above by kiddush or simcha it would be appropriate, but there are plentiful opportunities to say something.


You can't change anyone unless they want to change. You're delusional if you think people are willing to listen to corrections from strangers even from a loving place. The most they will do is shine you on.

I am not sure where you get dirty from. If anything, frum Jews are overly put together even for simple errands.

I invite you to come to Monsey. Look at all the dented, banged up minivans, some held together with tape. Now if you go to a parking lot many cars don't park parallel to the lines. You can also come right before shacharis and watch what goes on. There are so many cars parking in crazy "spots" and driving without regard to normal rules. The cars are just dumped on the sides of the roads with no sidewalks, and drivers and pedestrians have to work around this.

Drivers from outside are shocked.

Frankly, the condition of cars and poor drivers aren't my issues except at they effect kids unattended in the streets.

My issues are the kids unattended. It doesn't mean I don't love my community because I care for the safety of the children.

I have offered to babysit in my neighbors' house for free when I know my neighbors go to simchas and leave the children unattended. I told them to leave the monitor with me because I can there faster than they can coming from a simcha.

I spoken to the parents and/or caused someone to speak to the parents letting young kids play in the street unattended. Some listen, but most don't change. Yes, there has already been an accident where a kid was hurt. It changed nothing with those who didn't listen.
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Sat, Feb 03 2018, 9:05 pm
Squishy wrote:
You can't change anyone unless they want to change. You're delusional if you think people are willing to listen to corrections from strangers even from a loving place. The most they will do is shine you on.

I am not sure where you get dirty from. If anything, frum Jews are overly put together even for simple errands.

I invite you to come to Monsey. Look at all the dented, banged up minivans, some held together with tape. Now if you go to a parking lot many cars don't park parallel to the lines. You can also come right before shacharis and watch what goes on. There are so many cars parking in crazy "spots" and driving without regard to normal rules. The cars are just dumped on the sides of the roads with no sidewalks, and drivers and pedestrians have to work around this.

Drivers from outside are shocked.

Frankly, the condition of cars and poor drivers aren't my issues except at they effect kids unattended in the streets.

My issues are the kids unattended. It doesn't mean I don't love my community because I care for the safety of the children.

I have offered to babysit in my neighbors' house for free when I know my neighbors go to simchas and leave the children unattended. I told them to leave the monitor with me because I can there faster than they can coming from a simcha.

I spoken to the parents and/or caused someone to speak to the parents letting young kids play in the street unattended. Some listen, but most don't change. Yes, there has already been an accident where a kid was hurt. It changed nothing with those who didn't listen.


How old is the oldest?
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Sat, Feb 03 2018, 9:40 pm
Funny story

My friend made a bris. She wasn't at the bris.
I was the only non relative there not one of her relatives apart from her brother knew who I was. They are all very chassidish and I am not.
First during the bris my friend calls me to find out what is going on. I was giving her play by play I was getting such dirty looks fro everyone little did they know who I was talking to.
Then after the Seuda was over my friend told me to take all the leftovers home. She is wealthy and she had a ton of expensive food left over. I went from table to table taking everything.
I got such dirty looks from people and a few came over to "explain" to me that it is not right to take everything it is for everyone and the leftovers go to the Baal simcha. I wasn't in the mood to explain so I just said ok and proceeded to take it anyway.
It was quit funny.
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 03 2018, 10:32 pm
amother wrote:
How old is the oldest?
I found out when the oldest was an infant.
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 12:21 am
Squishy wrote:
I found out when the oldest was an infant.


Hu? Are you sure they left an infant alone? For how long?
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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 12:36 am
amother wrote:

Then after the Seuda was over my friend told me to take all the leftovers home. She is wealthy and she had a ton of expensive food left over. I went from table to table taking everything.
I got such dirty looks from people and a few came over to "explain" to me that it is not right to take everything it is for everyone and the leftovers go to the Baal simcha. I wasn't in the mood to explain so I just said ok and proceeded to take it anyway.
It was quit funny.


How much effort would it have taken to say that the baalas simcha asked you to take the food? I find your behavior here very odd.
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amother
Violet


 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 1:10 am
LOL 14 pages!
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amother
Violet


 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 1:11 am
DP
Sorry
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 1:48 am
amother wrote:
How much effort would it have taken to say that the baalas simcha asked you to take the food? I find your behavior here very odd.


I had run ins with these relatives before. It's a long story and I don't feel the need to explain the whole situation.
Also the bris was at 7:30 and I drove three hours to get there and I was exhausted.
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amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Sun, Feb 18 2018, 12:29 am
I was thinking of this thread today at a bar mitzvah kiddush.

An acquaintance came up to me, horrified. Desserts, for various reasons, were to be served later. She wanted a cookie for her child, so she went into the kitchen to ask the caterer for one. They told her no. What, she said, I can’t believe you don’t have cookies. We do, they said, but they’re being served later, we can’t give them to you now. She was indignant. I explained that if they gave one to every child who wanted one, there wouldn’t be cookies for the dessert spread that they planned and that the hosts wanted. So she was indignant and angry with me as well. Rolling Eyes

(I should mention that there were some treats out for kids at that point, but that people grabbed platefuls that reminded untouched and wasted.)
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