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Iso frum, honest,smart, psychologically aware mentor/rebetzi
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 9:57 pm
help me find the right support please,
I need help with my emunah........specifically dealing with a psak from a gadol in a medical situation.
I'm not knocking it or looking for a way out of listening. I want and need to listen however, Im struggling emotionally to be comfortable with it.
Who can I speak to?

please help!
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SpottedBanana




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 10:12 pm
Where do you live?

Would the gadol's wife qualify?
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octopus




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 10:12 pm
Was it a psak halacha or was it advice?
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 10:18 pm
Hug

Everything that happens is ultimately for our benefit.

May I humbly bench you this this psak/eitza will cause you ONLY to seek out a wonderful mentor who will help you grow in your emunah, with NO negative effects (physical OR spiritual) whatsoever.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 10:19 pm
What talks to one person might not work for another, and I don't have a clue how to approach someone out of the blue and strike up a rebbetzin relationship - I WISH I could! Would be a very useful skill to have. But anyway, if you want to try, you can PM me and I'll share names of people whom I find supportive.
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octopus




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 10:22 pm
I'm only asking because a psak halacha you must follow. An eitzah (advice) is like anything else. You can either follow or not follow. You don't get an aveira for not taking advice. However, many people trust and respect getting advice from a gadol because they feel he may have insight, experience, and maybe some reach hakodesh.
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2018, 12:09 am
Could there be a good reason you are not comfortable with it? Is the gadol aware of how uncomfortable you are? You don't have to ignore your discomfort.
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2018, 1:10 pm
Op here- it was regarding a pretty serious medical situation and was posed to r Chaim Kanievsky. 3 times- in different ways in order to make sure all issues were addressed.
I was told not to delve any further and I can't/ won't go against it for many reasons.
I want to trust it but I'm so afraid.
My husband is very firm that if that's what r Chaim's said- there are no worries anymore, and I can't and shouldn't ask more.
It's scary to me not to listen to r Chaim but Im worried and have no peace.
Also, my doctors don't stop pushing me to look further.
I feel so stuck and need chizuk in emunas chachamim and emunah in general.
I'm a deep thinker and simply being told "believe and trust" seems easier said than done. I struggle with it in many areas.
I don't have a rebbetzin or rav or anyone to discuss this with- for various reasons that I can't discuss here. It will completely out me.

Please recommend someone.

I know that my following comments may be a bit off topic, but....
I know I'm not the only ultra frum women with hashkaphic struggles... we need more people out there who can be there for us...
And by the way- I'm ffb, grew up in the strongest Torah environment, I'm married to that very respected public figure in your community, and I'm the mentor people turn to for help.
And yet.... I struggle badly on a personal level.
I so badly want and need to "feel" yiddishkeit and appreciate all it has to offer, yet I'm upset and let down with many aspects and want to help make change.
I'm not here to bash!
I don't want personal opinions on r Chaim's answer to me...I'm looking for that trusted mentor to guide me, in this area and the many other areas I (and I'm sure many of us) struggle with.
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amother
Mustard


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2018, 2:16 pm
Must b woman?
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2018, 2:34 pm
Not necessarily!
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amother
Mustard


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2018, 2:52 pm
Similar dynamics here.
I spoke w R Shmuel Nieman for clarity.
(Not therapy.)

He's frum honest smart and psychologically aware:)
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2018, 3:15 pm
Sorry Op for the difficult situation.

You can try Reb Basi Cohen in Lakewood (wife of R'Simcha Bunim Cohen)

You can also call Rabbi Shalom Kamenetzky in Philadelphia.

Hatzlacha in gaining the Menuchas Hanefesh you need
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2018, 4:46 pm
Thank you for caring enough to respond.

Who is r neiman? From where?
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2018, 5:42 pm
Please listen to this shiur. It might help

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XDa-t9EPHmw
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amother
Violet


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2018, 6:08 pm
Fellow rebbetzin here and I'm not so perfect either. If you would like to correspond by email, set up an account & I'll be glad to be a listening ear, figuratively speaking.
(We send certain shaylos to Rav Chaim Shlita but most things I would talk to an American posek...)
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amother
Mustard


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2018, 6:19 pm
amother wrote:
Thank you for caring enough to respond.

Who is r neiman? From where?


Monsey
371 1068
Viznitz open minded very knowledgeable understanding and gets it. (He's endorsed by Reb Chaim btw)
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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2018, 7:12 pm
I'm not the op, but I do have questions that I would like to ask a godol. We were trying to get hold of Rav Sholom Kamenetzky, but it never happened. Any ideas on contact info?
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amother
Violet


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2018, 7:13 pm
I'm sure you can call the yeshiva or directory assistance.
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2018, 8:44 pm
I don't have any suggestions but I just want to commend you and say that I think this is such an important thing for us as frum women, to find a role model/mentor to help us in our struggles. I think you're wise for recognizing and pursuing this need.

Are there any older relatives you admire? Anyone you've ever met or shmoozed with who seemed like someone to look up to spiritually? Maybe a woman speaker whose shiurim you enjoy, that you can call and ask. Just thinking aloud here.

Hatzlacha rabbah!
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2018, 8:57 pm
On white pages, Rabbi Sholom Kamenetzy is listed with this number:

(215) 877-5330

Hatzlacha!
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