What is class? (And what is old money?)

Jewishfoodie

Mon, Feb 05 2018, 6:21 pm

I can answer what makes a person classy IN MY EYES. To me, when I see someone get shamed or insulted, even on Ima, and the poster who insulted her can be easily shut up with a few well placed insults in return, but doesn't get even one negative word thrown back at her by the person she just ripped apart... Well, that's class. It means, "I stated my opinion. You vehemently disagreed and added personal insult to it. But I'm confident enough in myself that I will not stoop to her level and tear her down too. I'm better than that."
Classy.
When I see other people remain quiet while others take credit for their work, classy. They don't need accolades. They just need the job done.
Classy.

When a child is behind them at the grocery, holding one item, they let the child ahead of them. They're not doing it for the gratitude. They're just doing it because they have class.

They don't shove or push to get ahead. They wait patiently without grumbling under their breath even when they've been inconvenienced. Classy.

leah233

Mon, Feb 05 2018, 6:26 pm

My view of classy is someone that rises above pettiness. They are well mannered and show respect to everyone . They avoid loshen hora and machlokes. If others act inappropriately to them they don't respond in kind.

They also carry themselves with a certain charisma and style.

Jewishfoodie

Mon, Feb 05 2018, 6:29 pm

leah233 wrote:

Exactly!

amother

Blonde

Mon, Feb 05 2018, 6:35 pm

My father is a ger, his family is a stereotypical old-money WASP family. They've had money since the late 19th century.

I think these days you're "old money" if you've been in the upper classes since at least the Kennedy era (so yeah, that would be about 3 generations). Although it's also sort of a mentality. Old money is not ostentatious. You know they're rich because or where they live and the country clubs and private schools etc, but they're not flashy and in your face about it, it's just the reality. New money is more flaunting and having a good, expensive time. If you've ever read The Great Gatsby (or watched the movie adaptations, particularly the most recent one) the difference between the Buchanans' wealth and Gatsby's wealth is quite stark.

As for classy? Meh, I think the term is meaningless. My "classy" WASP relatives all have tons of skeletons in the closet, everyone's cheating on each other, most of the spouses hate each other but will never divorce, and they drink like fish and pop Valium like candy. Not classy behavior, imo. But we sit and sip our scotch on the rocks ("classy" drink) in the parlor and keep the conversation polite and never talk about the skeletons because we're oh-so-classy and don't know from such things.

Fox

Mon, Feb 05 2018, 9:02 pm

I think JewishFoodie, Leah, and Skee nailed it. I would add to what Blonde Amother said that I don't necessarily consider "class" to be related to private morality or virtue. Classy people can be every bit as wicked as anyone else. They're just quieter about it and don't insist on making the world their therapist.

imamother153

Mon, Feb 05 2018, 9:08 pm

Jewishfoodie wrote:

That’s simply good middos.
I think classy is defined by great social skills and good middos. And as someone else said they carry themselves with certain charisma and style.

Last edited by imamother153 on Mon, Feb 05 2018, 9:13 pm; edited 2 times in total

Mommyg8

Mon, Feb 05 2018, 9:08 pm

Fox wrote:

Um.... I'm a little confused about this, fox. So it's ok for people to have affairs, cheat on their taxes, and rely on drugs to get through the day.... as long as they keep this to themselves? Does that make them classy? Scratching Head

Fox

Mon, Feb 05 2018, 11:37 pm

Mommyg8 wrote:

No, I'm simply saying that I don't equate class with good moral character. You can be a reprehensible person in private but behave with class in public.

However, I do believe class is often associated with being somewhat private about things that would make other people uncomfortable. If my friend is having an affair, I don't want to be put in the position of being her confindante. If she's cheating on her taxes, I don't want to be an accessory after the fact. If she's relying on drugs to get through the day, she'd better be prepared to share. Whoops! I didn't mean that!

I think my personal Hall of Fame award goes to a women I encountered on 13th Avenue in Brooklyn years ago. It seems her mother had colitis, and she was giving an update to a good friend. Problem was, the good friend was almost 50 feet away. That didn't stop this lady, though. She just bellowed out all the pertinent info for everyone between 45th and 46th Streets. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that the entire block was riveted by the tale.

Forcing other people to find out things they'd rather not know about you (or your mother) is the antithesis of class. Classy people keep their aveiros and their digestive systems to themselves.

Mommyg8

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 1:07 am

Fox, this is not a judgment of the values of anyone on this thread, but I think there are people who will have a different word for the behavior blonde was describing... the word is "hypocrisy".

Which has nothing to do with using euphemisms for bodily functions (or describing your recent colitis surgery publicly in detail), which, at least to my mind, is not quite the same thing.

DrMom

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 1:28 am

amother wrote:

This.

amother

Brunette

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 7:35 am

I don't understand. People with old money, inherited their money. Meaning they didn't work a day in their life for it. People who become rich now are doing so with a lot of hard work. Since when is old money such a great thing. Look at the children and grandchildren of Johnsohns and Johnsohns, Rockefeller, Vanderbilt are they classy just because they sit on their backside and inherit money.

Writergirl

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 7:38 am

Mommyg8 wrote:

That'd not what she's saYing at all.

amother

Orange

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 7:39 am

amother wrote:

that’s not what makes them classy - what makes them classy is their attitude towards money, and the way they present themselves. The kardashians for example, are the polar opposite. And just because they worked for their money, doesn’t make them classy. This isn’t a discussion of which type of money is better or preferable.