Compliments make me uncomfortable

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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amother

Crimson

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 11:32 am

I am involved in a certain chessed in my community. I don't want to give specifics, but it's a very specialized need, that at this time I am the best candidate to fill. It takes many hours and lots of energy but at this point I have become emotionally involved, and I can't imagine not doing what has to be done.

I am doing this quietly, and don't discuss it with anyone so as to respect the privacy of the person involved.

Others, who are part of this person's life keep telling me how AMAZING I am........etc.

It makes me so uncomfortable. I'm never sure what to answer. The honest truth is, that I have become so close to the person, I consider them part of my immediate family, and anyone would do what I'm doing for an immediate family member.

My social etiquette isn't great, so I end up mumbling something stupid when I get these comments.

Guide me please.....

pause

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 11:34 am

Smile, look the person directly in the eye and say "Thank you for saying that! It's my pleasure."

amother

Crimson

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 11:40 am

I can practice that..... But it somehow sounds dumb when I say it.

pause

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 11:41 am

amother wrote:

I can practice that..... But it somehow sounds dumb when I say it.

You have to be sincere when you say it. Smile

FranticFrummie

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 11:54 am

A simple "Thank you" is enough. You could also try "I love what I'm doing".

If she starts gushing, change the subject quickly.

If you are close enough to her to be honest, you could say something like "I'm actually a rather shy person, and I never know how to handle compliments. They make me feel awkward." You are not saying that SHE is making you feel awkward, but compliments in general.

amother

Crimson

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 12:01 pm

Problem is, I don't love what I'm doing, I wish it didn't have to be done. I'd love in this case not to be "needed" anymore.

In also not really obviously shy, just often awkward. Thanks for the words of wisdom.

pause

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 12:01 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

No. Just no.

cbg

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 12:14 pm

You can say something like B"H, Hashem made me the Shaliach.
It's all up to Hashem anyway.

Boca00

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 3:55 pm

A simple "thank you" is perfect.

If they start gushing, you can say exactly what you said here:

amother wrote:

The honest truth is, that I have become so close to the person, I consider them part of my immediate family, and anyone would do what I'm doing for an immediate family member.

amother

Crimson

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 6:48 pm

Thank you Boca. I'm going to do just that, of it happens again.

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