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How to cope while waiting for a shaila response



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Brooklynite1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 06 2018, 2:00 pm
The hardest part about asking a difficult and personal shaila is often waiting for the Rav to get back to you--sometimes before you've even asked it (as in arranging a time to speak at length about it, which might be at a later point in time). Sometimes once I work up the courage to ask a difficult shaila, especially if it's a question I've had for a while and can presently identify as for sure a shaila that I should ask a Rav, I feel anxious and exposed and want to just spit out the shaila. Is this something anyone else has been through? How do you cope? I think I need to work on my emunah to calm my anxiety! Any recommendations?
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lavenderchimes




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 06 2018, 2:11 pm
I have this all the time. I just try to remember three things: Hashem rules the world, Ravs deal with these things all the time, and nobody ever died of anxiety! I usually do just blurt it out in a stumbling manner. Is there another way? lol
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Brooklynite1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 06 2018, 2:13 pm
Ok glad to know I'm not alone! Thanks for the chizzuk. Smile
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Goldie613




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 07 2018, 1:36 am
OP, you are definitely not alone! Whenever I have to ask a shaila of a personal nature, I just want to sink through the floor with embarrassment. I try to psych myself up to do it (saying things to myself like, ok, it"ll be over in a couple of minutes, just get it over with quickly, deep breath now, ok here we go, the Rabbi will think about this the way a doctor would ... you get the idea).

But most of the time I just stammer my way through the conversation while turning bright red and hoping that no one notices ;-)

Maybe we get extra schar since we are doing a mitzvah that feels so personally uncomfortable???

Good luck, stay strong, and remember as hard as it can be to do things like this, you are doing it for a good reason Hug
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lavenderchimes




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 07 2018, 5:12 pm
Goldie613 wrote:

But most of the time I just stammer my way through the conversation while turning bright red and hoping that no one notices ;-)

Maybe we get extra schar since we are doing a mitzvah that feels so personally uncomfortable???


Yes! We do get more merit for things that are more of a struggle.

I used to always start conversations like this: I had it all planned out what I was going to say, but now it's all mixed up in my head.

Rabbi: No problem, just tell me what's doing and we'll go from there.

Smile By now I often just start talking, because I figure he already knows that I'm a wreck:)
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