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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Neighbor is sitting shiva for her husband, what to send?



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amother
Silver


 

Post Sun, Feb 11 2018, 11:11 pm
A bunch of neighbors arranged all the meals and forgot to ask me what I'd like to make. So I want to send something on my own. Is it OK to send homemade cookies or cake? What's accepted ? This is an ashkenazi shiva in Lakewood if that makes a difference. I don't want to spend 50 dollars on a fruit platter or the like.
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amother
Orange


 

Post Sun, Feb 11 2018, 11:32 pm
I think cake or cookies is ok. or maybe cut up some fruit, thats always appreciated.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 11 2018, 11:38 pm
IN my experience,dessert isn’t appreciate but fresh fruit or vegetables are appreciated. You could easily make a vegetable platter that’s inexpensive and looks nice.
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amother
Silver


 

Post Sun, Feb 11 2018, 11:40 pm
tichellady wrote:
IN my experience,dessert isn’t appreciate but fresh fruit or vegetables are appreciated. You could easily make a vegetable platter that’s inexpensive and looks nice.


Ok thanks ! How would you make it look professional for 15 ppl?
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amother
Purple


 

Post Sun, Feb 11 2018, 11:46 pm
Your platter doesn't have to server all 15. Just cut up some fresh fruits, or put in individual little containers, so they could grab a quick bite...something refreshing...like pineapple or mango
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imamother153




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 12 2018, 12:17 am
U can layer all the vegetables on a platter with contrasting colors or arrange colors from dark to light. U can put dressing in little cups at the side or drizzle lightly above. It can look really pretty.
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amother
Silver


 

Post Mon, Feb 12 2018, 7:37 am
Bumping up for any other input or ideas
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Mon, Feb 12 2018, 7:40 am
When I was sitting shiva for my mother, we enjoyed the cake. Someone went to the bakery every morning and got us danishes and other assorted cake. Homemade would have been even better.
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simcha2




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 12 2018, 8:40 am
Why not send a meal the week (or two weeks) after shiva? It may be more appreciated/needed then, especially if you know the meals during shiva are already being provided.
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kallateach




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 12 2018, 8:41 am
Paper goods is often very welcome and something no one thinks of.
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amother
Silver


 

Post Mon, Feb 12 2018, 8:42 am
simcha2 wrote:
Why not send a meal the week (or two weeks) after shiva? It may be more appreciated/needed then, especially if you know the meals during shiva are already being provided.


I will iyh do that too, but also wanted to do something for now
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Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 12 2018, 9:03 am
Believe it or not, my mom sat shiva for her brother she said that someone bought chocolate and candies it went in minuetes! They all wanted something sweet. But a family member bought it, I wonder how appropriate it is for you to bring OP. I think homemade cake & cookies would be greatly appreciated.
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imasoftov




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 12 2018, 9:15 am
tichellady wrote:
IN my experience,dessert isn’t appreciate but fresh fruit or vegetables are appreciated. You could easily make a vegetable platter that’s inexpensive and looks nice.

I always send dessert, never had any complaints.
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mommyhood




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 12 2018, 10:24 am
amother wrote:
When I was sitting shiva for my mother, we enjoyed the cake. Someone went to the bakery every morning and got us danishes and other assorted cake. Homemade would have been even better.

Same, I just had a family member sit shiva and we went through a ton of cake/pastries. I don't think you can go wrong with a platter of cookies.
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