Nursing vs formula

GAMZu

Wed, Oct 31 2007, 10:44 pm

momtomor wrote:

chavamom wrote:

Of course no one should "make" you feel like a bad mother (or I fail to see how they "could", unless you let them...). But this mother seems to want to make a go of nursing. So how these types of comments are helpful????

She seems to want to make a go at it, but sometimes she does feel like giving up. She just doesn't want to feel like a failure. So these comments are helpful just in case she does give it up, she should know that she's not a bad mother or a failure by doing it.

Parenting isn't a piece of cake. It's a very difficult job.

If a woman has a hard pregnancy, should she abort?
If a mother is constantly tired and can't get up in middle of the night to prepare formula, should she let her child starve?
If a mother is going crazy 24/7 with her child, never getting a moment's rest, should she give the child up for adoption?
"She's not a bad mother or a failure by doing it."

The only difference is that we are conditioned by our society that formula is just as good as breastmilk, and it shouldn't be reserved for the tragic instances where an infant doesn't have a mother or where a mother physically can't produce milk.

shoshb

Thu, Nov 01 2007, 9:06 am

In addition to some of the great advice you've read here, you should also think how much of the difficulty you're experiencing is purely nursing related, and how much is related to the fact that you now have not one, but two children to care for.
You'd still have to occupy your big one while feeding the baby, whether it's bottle or breast.
And you've have to carry supplies of formula, bottles etc when out, then deal with cleaning it all afterwards.
Like Chavamom, I'm not sure why you're still pumping, but I think some of what you're describing has to do with the adjustment of going from one baby to two.
Think about that before you decide anything.

MommyLuv

Thu, Nov 01 2007, 1:31 pm

OP-I know you talked to a LC, but do you know of any La Leche League meetings nearby?
It might be a good idea to get more group support and info about nursing so you can give it your best shot , instead of giving up.

A lot of breastfeeding success is in the mind.
Believe in your body's amazing ability to feed your baby the best food possible. Nature made it that way. You can do it, you just need to believe that.

If you can convince yourself that you do have plenty of milk (which from the sound of it, you probably do), that nursing is a gift you can give your baby and an investment in her future, that the inconveniences now will pay off later...Then you'll be OK.

Lotsa luck... Smile

MrsLeo

Thu, Nov 01 2007, 1:58 pm

I was nursing exclusively for about 3 month (I was taking Zahlers Lactation Success) and the first couple of months were extremely hard but I knew that after the first few months it should become easier. Then wen my daughter was about 3 months old I stopped taking the lactation success because it was getting too expensive and I wasnt nursing clean anyways so I felt like it was a waste of money. Once I stopped taking it my supply decreased drasticly and my baby didnt want to nurse anymore cuz it was getting too hard for her to get any milk so she would scream till I gave her a bottle. Now that shes getting only formula I really miss the nursing because now every time she is hungry its a whole shlep to wash her bottles and make her formula, with nursing it was ready milk 24-7. When I was nursing I wasnt really tied down cuz I would pump and freeze so whenever I would go out I would either leave frozen milk with whoever is babysitting or I would take a bottle with me.

PS. I went to a breast specialist and he said that all these herbal supplements that are supposed to help you nurse arent good for your baby because you never know what they put in there and they're not tested or doctor approved.

Ima2

Thu, Nov 01 2007, 6:02 pm

First of all, I just want to say thank you to all who have responded to my post, You have been more than helpful and encouraging. Basically, the story goes like this...I thought everything was ok until I took my daughter to the dr for her 2 month check up where she was found to be in the 10th %ile for weight and 25th%ile for height. The dr asked me if I thought my supply was enough and I said that I don't know cuz I am nursing exclusively. That, along with the fact that she only had a bowel movement 1-2x/week and that she was hungry every 2 hours and didn't sleep well, prompted me to pump ahead of time and feed her what I pumped. It was all good until at night I pumped only 1 oz total in 15 mins. That freeked me out b/c that's not enough for her. Thus, I didn't think my supply was adequate. So I spoke to a LC who told me to do these extra pumpings. To tell the truth, I may not have to do those pumpings anymore, but I have to get her weighed before I can tell. But b/f I had this issue and still now if I feed and don't pump, it takes 30 mins to feed her, a bottle takes 5-10! She keeps falling asleep every time she eats which may have caused my supply to decrease. I do want to nurse (not only for my baby, but also for myself). It seems from what I hear, that I should try to continue and see how things go. The tyed-down thing still exists regardless. I never want to go anywhere for too long cuz then I'd have to nurse there. I'm not afraid to nurse in public, and I have already nursed in the car, just everthing takes sooooo much longer if I have to sit and nurse while shopping. This is my dilemma!

Racheli

Thu, Nov 01 2007, 6:45 pm

I nursed my three children for over a year each. I found that when they were two months old, I had to nurse them every two hours. That means that if I started the baby nursing at 10 am, he would nurse again starting at noon, at 2 pm, etc. And that was even if he nursed for half an hour. Nursing a baby is really a full-time job. And it's wonderful, but I don't think it's something to stress about if you want to supplement with formula. Even one formula feeding a day might give you a bit of a break.

Pickle Lady

Thu, Nov 01 2007, 8:00 pm

Ima2 wrote:

...I thought everything was ok until I took my daughter to the dr for her 2 month check up where she was found to be in the 10th %ile for weight and 25th%ile for height. The dr asked me if I thought my supply was enough and I said that I don't know cuz I am nursing exclusively. That, along with the fact that she only had a bowel movement 1-2x/week and that she was hungry every 2 hours and didn't sleep well,

You have to realize breastfed babies grow at thier own rate. Also a breastfed baby can have 1 bowel movement every 14 days and its totally normal. My most chubby baby only had 1 bowel movement every 7-12 days, its totally fine. Nursing takes time thats it plain and simple its not going to be like a bottle. I really think you should try breast compressions during your nursing sessions, it can really help build up the supply. Also switching sides, nursing 2x on each side during a session. The more milk your baby takes from you the more your body will make. You can do this!!!

Ima2

Thu, Nov 01 2007, 10:03 pm

MommyLuv wrote:

I think your pediatrician is part of your problem.... Confused

...Planting doubts in your head and all that. Breastfed babies were never meant to be measured and weighed according to the 'charts', those charts are for formula fed babes.

I don't like our pediatrician very much for other reasons similar to this issue. They always make me feel stupid and talk down to me--they think they're so superior, they don't realize that I have an advanced degree in the health sciences! My scale at home is actually very accurate, maybe I'll just weigh her that way. Maybe she's just small, I was as a baby and was breastfed!

Mama Bear

Fri, Nov 02 2007, 12:00 am

I, too, faced a similar dilemma, with a twist. My baby was a preemie and culdnt latch. all the pumping in the world didnt igve me more than 1.5 oz, so I had to supplement anyway. The pumping / feeding / bottle preparing / feeding / burping / washing pump parts /eating / running to the bathroom / holding the screaming baby / starting it all over again every 3 hours was wearing me out and I found myself becoming an extremely illtempered zombie. I had waited too long to have this baby only to become a wreck and a shmatta. I made a heartbreaking decision to stop pumping. I cried for days; to this day I'm jealous at the women who can nurse effortlessly. However, I did what was right for both me and the baby. I couldve either had a long, drawn out battle trying to get him to nurse and not enjoying being a mother because of the stress, or giving up nursing and bonding with my baby over a bottle instead of feeling wrung out. Now you dont have the same dilemma since your baby is obviously nursing. I'd suggest you first try every trick under the sun to increase your supply. There are drugs - domperidone comes to mind - fenugreek, homeopathic remedies, and such. Forget pumping; get a good lactation consultant to show you better tricks. Maybe if your supply goes up, your baby will be satisfied for longer and nurse for shorter. But if he doesnt - THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH SUPPLEMENTING FOR A BABY THAT NEEDS IT. A mother who is unhappy with her nursing relationship is doing NO ONE a favor. Feeling resentful for being tied down/locked in etc, just so you can avoid feeling guilty for giving up nursing, is just not worth it. I know that many women diesperately keep on nursing even when it's very difficult beause it's their only form of quasi birth control, and some like to be tahor for an extended time, others like it for its help in losing weight. I had none of those concerns, and realized I was an absolute shmatta, so as hard as it was, I formula fed. And I havent regretted it. BH my son, the 3.11 ounce preemie, weighs 32 pounds!!! at age 2. You really have to examine for yourself if the payoff is worth it. BUT dont quit cold turkey. There are still plenty of things you can try first. But if you come to the point where your supply does not increase - a 2 month old CERTAINLy needs more than 1 1/2 ounces per feeding - and you feel more anger than enjoyment with nursing, PLEASE do not feel guilty or like a bad mother, and enjoy the beautiful brocha HaSHem gave you without sacrificing the joy that should come with parenting.

Hatzlocha!

- Been there, done that.

GAMZu

Fri, Nov 02 2007, 12:19 am

I don't ever want to be tested with a preemie. It is so horribly hard. Even if there are no serious health problems, the feeding is extremely difficult. With the pumping, and then the baby has a hard time learning to nurse... I don't know how mothers of preemies do it.

But...

Quote:

a 2 month old CERTAINLY needs more than 1 1/2 ounces per feeding

If she's pumping 1.5 oz, it doesn't mean she's producing this much. The pump can never get out as much milk as the baby can. Sometimes a woman's body just doesn't react to the pump.
If I would gauge my milk production accd. to how much I can pump out, I would've stopped nursing after my first attempt at pumping.

Pickle Lady

Fri, Nov 02 2007, 10:43 am

GAMZu wrote:

Quote:

a 2 month old CERTAINLY needs more than 1 1/2 ounces per feeding

the only accurate way to see approx. how much milk the baby is acutally drinking is by weighing before and after the feed.

Hashem_Yaazor

Fri, Nov 02 2007, 11:30 am

FWIW, a 2 month old can really take 2.5 ounces a feed and be fine. Pumping 1 ounce at night is actually pretty good, considering it's at night when your supply is less, harder to pump, and you are nursing as well.

I do think the ped put doubts in your mind, and I would wait till the next check up to see if it really seems like she is dropping. Eating every 2 hours is normal. My son, BTW, who kept on his small curve, only was having BMs two days a week as well at that point. I was nervous, but all in all he seemed fine between feeds, wasn't dehydrated and didn't drop so much. His weight gain wasn't great, but it was okay. And he hit all his milestones early so far. Ignore the charts, go by your baby. Hatzlacha!

amother

Firebrick

Tue, Sep 26 2017, 1:09 pm

Ima2 wrote:

Hi all, I'm new to this forum, so I don't know if this has been tallked about yet but ...I jusy had my 2nd child 2 months ago and am attempting to nurse exclusively (I'm home with my kids, B"H for now). I formula-fed my oldest since I was on a very rigorous school scheule. I was so excited about the opportunity to nurse this time, but after 2 months of exclusive nursing, I'm starting to get frustrated with it. My supply isn't adequate so I am pumping to increase supply. I end up feeding her for an hour every 3 hours! Not to mention that I can't do anything out away from my apt for more than 3 hours cuz then I'd have to feed my 2 month old while ooccupying my 2 year old in some bathroom somewhere. Basically, I feel very tied down to nursing, something I did not experience with my first and I'm finding it really hard to accept. Sometimes I feel like giving up nursing all together and going the formula route, but I don't want to feel like a failure/quitter/let myself and my husband down. Any advise out there? Thanks.

[quote]

I had the same exact problem. But I stopped at 2 months and felt terribly guilty. But to tell you the truth it was very hard to pump and nurse all day.