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Forum
-> Household Management
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amother
Babypink
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 Thu, Feb 22 2018, 12:53 pm
I have three kids, ages btw 4 years old and and 1 year old. I have a cleaning lady six hours a week .
Yeasterday my SIL came to baby sit my kids (at 5pm),and when she came back she was shoked telling my mil how messy my house was...dishes in the sink and etc...beds were messy ...
She is single,doesnt have kids and has no idea how to run a house.But I was very mad about everything what she said...im wondering ,mothers at my situation can mantain a clean house all day long? ( I usually clean after they go to sleep)
If yes how do you do it?(especially that the young ones demand my attention a lot)
How do you organize?
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tovli toraspicha
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Thu, Feb 22 2018, 12:58 pm
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No way! I think it's impossible to keep a house perfectly neat and organized with young children in it unless you literally have a full time maid constantly cleaning. Why is this even something people think is a goal?
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amother
Bronze
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Thu, Feb 22 2018, 12:58 pm
I have 3 kids 6 and under and my house is neat from when the cleaning lady leaves until the kids get home from school  And it is most certainly not clean and neat at 5 PM, seriously, anyone who's ever had kids knows that 5 PM is literally the worst time of day to expect ANYTHING- an orderly home, availability to take a phone call, or really to do anything not related to your kids. Obviously your SIL simply doesn't understand not having been there. If MIL takes it seriously, yeah, I'd be peeved.
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tichellady
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Thu, Feb 22 2018, 12:58 pm
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She was inappropriate. I have no kids and my house is only clean and neat right after I clean up.
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chatz
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Thu, Feb 22 2018, 1:00 pm
Hahahahaha! No bloody way.
Your SIL sounds very judgemental. If she's bothered by the mess, she can pick up a broom. Seriously.
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Blumy
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Thu, Feb 22 2018, 1:02 pm
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of course it's not clean! I don't clean up till the kids go to sleep. Whenever my single siblings make comments on such things I say wait till you have kids and we'll see how functional you are:)
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mha3484
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Thu, Feb 22 2018, 1:04 pm
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I have three kids 7,3,1 and my house is only neat when everyone is out for the full day. My kids were off on Monday and it looked like a disaster at the end of the day. I deal with actual messes to the best of my ability but I can go days before the toys get put away or the laundry gets picked up.
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amother
Babypink
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Thu, Feb 22 2018, 1:07 pm
Hahhaa Thanks for your responses !! Yeasterday I was feeling a failure! BH my MIL and my husband were by my side and explaining her how hard it is.
And today in the morning my MIL called me saying that she can send her cleaning lady some hours to help me friday hahaha at least she did something to help me
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amother
Ginger
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Thu, Feb 22 2018, 1:11 pm
This is one of the reasons I never ask one sister to babysit. and my mom forgot what it is like to have little kids.
Last edited by amother on Mon, Jun 11 2018, 12:40 am; edited 1 time in total
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observer
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Thu, Feb 22 2018, 1:20 pm
OF COURSE NOT!!!!! And it shouldn't be!!!!!!!!!!
Kids are kids. If I see a house of little kids that is perfectly neat, well that would concern me.
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MiracleMama
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Thu, Feb 22 2018, 1:31 pm
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I have three kids and my house is very clean every single day.... that the housekeeper shows up. Otherwise, tornado.
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glamourmom
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Thu, Feb 22 2018, 1:33 pm
I actually love the little-kids-live-here look. 5pm messes are inviting and normal and healthy.
your sil is young. don't let her immature perspective get to you.
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Blessing1
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Thu, Feb 22 2018, 1:36 pm
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beds get made right in the morning. Otherwise, the house gets cleaned up when the kids are asleep! What's the point of cleaning up when the kids are running around unpacking toys & eating snacks.... we might as well be cleaning up all day!
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amother
Seashell
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Thu, Feb 22 2018, 1:39 pm
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I have 6 kids. 5 of them under 11. We had to clean up before my babysitter showed up last time. It’s all mess all the time.
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yersp
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Thu, Feb 22 2018, 1:42 pm
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My 14 year old daughter is forever commenting and says she's never going to let her house be so messy. I keep on telling her dream on girl! I"YH you'll be a mother one day and you'll see for yourself how hard it is.
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amother
Hotpink
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Thu, Feb 22 2018, 1:58 pm
Actually my single sister also always commented to me and criticized how messy my house was. I was thinking "wait until you become a mom". But now with 24/7 nanny/housekeeper that she has shell never understand why my house is messy in the evenings with small kids. She judges me on a lot of things but now that shes a mom, with all the help she has, she will never understand me.
So yes it is normal that thibgs are "flying " in the evenings with little kids. But not everyone will begin to understand when they become moms bec everyone has different situations. At least your mil sent you more hours maybe your sil wanted your mil to help you with more cleaning lady hours??
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amother
Lavender
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Thu, Feb 22 2018, 1:59 pm
Important point to remember:
You are not someone else. And somelses kids are not yours. Different, makeup, different genes, different DNA. If your SIL and MIL can keep a house always organized so be it.
As a side note, out of our children only one was able to remember to bring home notes, do homework and not lose sweaters. My sister tortured me about my not being strict enough. (Her kids were blessed with regulated organized but oh so boring brains.) Very organized, regulated appropriate people can be the most shallow people and the people with so little depth. Recently, one of my daughter's teacher called complaining about my daughters disorganization. I told her: this is the way she was created by G_d, this is the way she will always be. I can help her organize, I can give her skills. But she has to remain who she is
If the teacher will convey displeasure she'll get more stressed and more disorganized.
When the teacher disagreed, I asked her if she recommends brain surgery for my daughter.
Sure enough the next day my daughter returned from school happily. She was thrilled that the teacher took a liking to her!!!!
Just be yourself and remember to once in a while to speak up for yourself.
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OutATowner
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Thu, Feb 22 2018, 2:14 pm
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Not a chance. We try. But, as dh says, our house looks "lived in."
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yentee
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Thu, Feb 22 2018, 3:17 pm
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Beds not made and Kids making a mess are 2 different things. Yes your beds should me made in the morning and the dishes in dink washed (unless they were just used for something) . And yes otherwise it all makes sense for a healthy home. But beds not made?!
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amother
Goldenrod
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Thu, Feb 22 2018, 3:19 pm
Not my house!! I have 4 young kids and right after I had my first I wondered how people keep neat looking homes.
I have to admit 2 things
1- it’s not in my blood to work fast, tidy up, wipe down counters type of thing ... my mother while being a very nice person was no housekeeper and so I never learned how to keep a house
2 - I waste time when my kids are out or asleep ... I just need “my time “ when I can have it but if I would use my time right I would accomplish a lot more!
I have a tenant ... she works full time and has 2 small kids ... her house is always picture perfect... so pleasant and inviting whenever I go / even 6 pm ... she’s also calm and not neurotic with her kids- she is someone who just seems to “have it in her blood “ if you know what I mean ... I am jealous sometimes
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