Advice for DS on how to deal with "mean" boys in c

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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amother

Sun, Nov 04 2007, 8:14 pm

My ds goes to a very nice school, B"H where most of the boys have Ahavas Yisroel most of the time. DS is shy, kind of "dorky," and not that street smart. There are a few boys that really pick on him. For example one brings a football to school and won't share it with him because he tells DS, "you don't throw correctly." As a mother I feel very hurt. How should I tell DS to deal with these type of children?

Imaonwheels

Mon, Nov 05 2007, 2:34 am

Watch from a distance. There is not nice and it can slide into abuse.

How old is he? I would say talk to him and tell him that he doesn't have to be with boys that don't know how to act nice. Encourage friendships with boys who are more like him or have derech eretz by encouraging them to get together after school or sleep over if that is done in your circles. Unless these boys are the class leaders who have the ability to close him off socially then he would be best handling it alone with you as a safety net.

Kumphort

Mon, Nov 05 2007, 12:06 pm

parents magazine just had a nice article about this. the mother also had a kid who was an easy target for kids to pick on, she worked with him, through role playing, on how to react in a way that they wouldnt continue to see him as week, for instance instead of saying in whiny voice, leave me alone, she had him learn to speak confidently.
I couldnt find a link to the article directly, but this is a short answer to the same question

http://www.parents.com/parents.....1.xml

amother

Mon, Nov 05 2007, 12:22 pm

Quote:

instead of saying in whiny voice, leave me alone, she had him learn to speak confidently

. re: putting on a show of confidence is no match for the unlimited confidence some of these bigshots have. It might just trigger outright nastiness. Not that I know the answer

southernbubby

Mon, Nov 05 2007, 12:47 pm

Our youngest son, who was very premature at birth, was physically slower and not athletic. I took him out of a school where he was being made fun of and put him in another school where athletic prowess was less important. He also became a whiz at Monopoly and soon began inviting over other boys and teaching them to play. He taught himself math through the game and soon kids who did not know math (no secular studies in the cheder) looked up to him.
Maybe your son can find another area to excel. Can he learn to play a keyboard or become smart at photography? What about a hobby that might eventually interest other kids such as some type of collection?

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