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VEEEEEEEEENNNNNNTTTTTT!



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twinkltoes




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 21 2007, 9:52 am
I have worked in the same company - start-up - for 5.5 years. Reasonable salary and no overtime and close to home. Those are the reasons I'm still here. I'm the office manager.

About 2 years ago my work load was ENORMOUS and I asked my 2 bosses for an assistant. They agreed and started interviewing women. It took them forever and a day to decide on someone and while they were interviewing, they also hired an accountant who I have gotten along with until now very well. They chose a girl/woman - she's 35 but not married - who until today has been sitting with me to fill my shoes when I am busy or out of the office. The idea was that she would be my backup and at the same time assist the accountant as her time permitted. I taught her the ropes.

Now this woman told me a long time ago that she does not enjoy secretarial work and she also told me that the accountant who she works closely with stresses her out and that she does NOT want to move into an office closer to his (until today his and our places were on opposite sides of the office).

About 2 weeks ago, she fell down the stairs here and sprained her ankle badly and is on crutches. I feel she's milking that for all she's worth. Her work hours are supposed to be from 9-6 and since she sprained her ankle she's been going home at 5 - before me. I called up the accountant and asked why and he said, "Because she asked to (I.e. because of her foot)." Great. My back hurts. Can I go home early too? What is she, some princess?

Then I get here today and she tells me with a little smirk on her face that she's moving into the office next to the accountants! I felt like someone had stabbed me in the back. I'm angry at her a bit. I feel like she's trying to promote herself. What was all that about him stressing her and her not wanting to get any closer to him? Was she lying? Playacting? So I went into the accountant's office and asked him whether he's thought it through. Because when I'm out sick or on vacation someone has to be at the front desk so they can see who's at the front door - delivery guys, guests, cleaning staff, mail man, etc. So he told me that at times when I'm not here, that she will come sit at my desk to answer phones and monitor the front door.

But I left his office still VERY unhappy about this new arrangement. Then I started thinking about something else that's been eating at me for a loooooooooong time. The fact that I haven't gotten a raise since I started working here. The more I thought about that the more I decided that it was time to do something about it and the assistant being "stolen" from me was a lesser issue. So I went into my boss who I HATE talking to. I'm terrified of him because of numerous past altercations I've had with him. But dafka this time he was reasonable to talk to about this. We discussed the raise (I'm not getting one and he explained why - I'm not happy about it but I do understand - and it's not because they're not happy with me - long story) and then I asked him if he even knew that MY assistant along with the accountant had decided that she is moving into the office next to his. He said he did know but that he wasn't happy about it either. He said the accountant is "stressed" and has been pestering him for 2 months for her to move closer to his office and he finally gave in. Great. So someone can pester for 2 months and get what they want? Who's the boss here? I left his office even MORE unhappy than I was before.

I came back to my desk and thought about it and went BACK to the big boss and asked him to please make sure it is PERFECTLY clear that when I want to go eat lunch every day and need to transfer the calls to her extension, that I'm not going to hear that she's "too busy" because she prefers working with the accountant. Because that's what happened before she arrived. Every day I would have to make numerous calls to other employees to see who would take the incoming calls only to be told "I'm too busy" and I would either have to eat really late or miss lunchtime all together. So at that he told me to make this request of the accountant. I go into HIS (the accountant's) office (again) and tell him the same: Please make sure that it is perfectly clear that when I want to go eat lunch or need to go out for a doctor's appointment that I'm not going to hear "I'm too busy". At that he started shouting at me: "Don't annoy me. She's not your assistant. She's MY bookkeeper. Nobody HAS to discuss it with you. You're not the manager here." Blah, blah, blah. I went BACK to the CEO and told him I'd gone to the accountant just as he'd said to do and only got shouted at. I said I'm sorry he's under stress but I refuse to let him take that out on me. I don't deserve that. So the CEO calmed me down and said he agreed with me and he would talk to the accountant about shouting at me and that if it didn't work out for her to be sitting in her new place, that he would move her back with me. Fine. I'm prepared to give it a try. It will be kinda nice to be sitting alone again and not have someone looking over my shoulder and listening in on my phone conversations. THAT I can get used to! It's just the way it was done I guess.

But I have been sitting here crying off and on all day since this all went down around noon and I'm not sure why. I feel like I have gotten NO recognition for my contribution to the company and that she's getting preferential treatment. That's eating at me. Not getting a raise is eating at me but there's nothing that can be done about it right now. Maybe next year. AT least I know now that NO ONE in the company has gotten a raise and that they're not withholding it from me on purpose or because they're not happy with me.

But on top of all this - and I think this is probably the real reason - is that I just yesterday or the day before told DH that I'm SICK TO DEATH of this job and that I don't know how much longer I can hang on by my fingernails. I have 2 young kids at home and we are TTC for #3 and I want to just BE MOMMMY. I am bored out of my brains here. How many years am I supposed to sit here staring at a blank screen waiting for an e-mail to pop up so I'll have something to do? How many years am I supposed to sit here shuffling papers, writing checks, sending faxes, answering phones, BABYSITTING all these adults? Good grief! I need someone to take care of ME for a change! I feel like I give and give and give at work and don't get anything back - no incentive. Not even job satisfaction. Not that there aren't a few good things about it like I said at the beginning of my post. And as my DH is self-employed, we sort of need my regular income to keep us afloat when things are slow for him. I feel SO torn. I like having a reason to get dressed up in the mornings. I like having my own spending money. But even if I did get that raise, there's a little voice inside that's saying louder and louder that it's still not worth it. The price - my peace of mind - is too high to stay here.

I discussed with DH yesterday or the day before maybe starting a mishpachton (half-day home day care) in my home. That way I would have the afternoons to invest in the family and the home which I feel guilty for not doing as well as I would like now just because there aren't enough hours in the day or energy by the time I get home from work. And I could be with my own kids at the same time. He wasn't thrilled with my idea b/c he works from home and it would disturb him and he also said, what would happen if you were sick? It would fall to me to look after the kids. He has a point there. I have no backup in case I got sick and was committed to looking after other kids. Maybe someone here can tell me how it's done?

So the way I see it, I have two options:

1) Talk to my bosses and see if they are open to considering me working here part-time. Money-wise it almost doesn't pay though.
2) Hang on a bit longer to see if I get pregnant and if so, work through the pregnancy so at least I would get my full dmei leida (maternity stipend) for the three months that I'd be on maternity leave. And THEN tell them I'm not coming back or come back part time.

Sorry this is long but I'm climbing the walls here! What do you think?
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faigie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 21 2007, 11:03 am
is there a possibility of finding a new job for yourself?
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Tamiri




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 21 2007, 11:11 am
Re: half day mishpachton: big headache and you will have to look far and wide for parents who don't want 7-4:30 minimum. You will have no life.
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MiracleMama




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 21 2007, 11:26 am
I would be very hurt with the way things were handled at work too. It's not that they did anything horrible, but they made plans and left you out of the loop when you are supposed to be the office manager. That doesn't sound right to me. And also, I don't know if things are different in Israel, but I have never heard of anyone working for 5+ years without getting a raise in all that time. I used to work in HR and even lousy employees got raises sometimes. All companies have reasons why it is sometimes hard to give pay increases, I.e. business is slow, overbudget, etc. but if they want a good employee to stick around they find away to come up with a little more money.
If it were me I think I would demand an increase and demand to be treated like a valuable employee and manager or else leave. I know I could never be happy working in that type of environment otherwise. But maybe before I did that I would have a back up plan just in case they tell me goodbye.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
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twinkltoes




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 22 2007, 10:00 am
I would like to get to work at HP which is right down the block from where I am now and we have a LOT of friends who work there but a) we're TTC and here in Israel you have to have worked at a job for 10 months before you are eligible for maternity leave I.e. they want to make sure you're not pregnant when they hire you and b) I'm very lucky where I am now in that there is NO overtime and I can almost guarantee you that in a company like HP a LOT of overtime would be expected.

But even if none of this were the case, bottom line is, I'm 35 years old and I do not want to babysit another adult and shuffle papers for the next 30 years when my own kids are home and I need/want to be with them. So changing jobs isn't really going to help that.

I went back to the accountant today and asked if I could speak to him without getting shouted at and we talked it out and I feel somewhat better about what happened yesterday. He apologized for shouting at me. I told him that it wasn't WHAT was done so much as HOW it was done and that I walked out of here yesterday feeling like a big fat ZERO because no one bothered to include me in the decision process. I told him that it doesn't cost anything to say "Hey, Avigayil, whaddya think?" and that if he's trying to make me feel that I'm NOT an important part of the "machinery" that we call this company then he's going about it the right way. I told him I'm sorry he's stressed but if he thinks he can take it out on me he's got another thing coming. And I finished up with "....and who could stay motivated when faced with such monumental lack of consideration?"
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shalhevet




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 22 2007, 10:31 am
Avigayils wrote:
I would like to get to work at HP which is right down the block from where I am now and we have a LOT of friends who work there but a) we're TTC and here in Israel you have to have worked at a job for 10 months before you are eligible for maternity leave I.e. they want to make sure you're not pregnant when they hire you


Avigayils, that's not true. Maternity leave is paid by Bituach Leumi, not by the company, and you get it if you have worked a minimum time (x out of the last y months - can't remember) at any place where you paid BL. It's irrelevant if you changed employer.

The only difference might be if you wanted to extend your (unpaid) maternity leave, which goes on how long you've worked for the same company.
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rachel19977




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 26 2007, 12:15 am
Remember Avigayils, that if you do the daycare thing, there will be no off days, more to clean, up early every morning, no vacation - and more "sickness" in the house from the little kids.

What's the HP thing? What would you be doing there?
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twinkltoes




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 26 2007, 1:43 am
Rachel -

Maybe so but a)I would only do it half days - until 13:00 so I WOULD have a life afterwards b) re: I would take all of the holidays off (Chanuka, Sukkot, Pesach, etc. just like the gans).

HP = Hewlett Packard. HUGE international company down the block from me. IF I got a job there, it would most likely be same or similar to what I'm doing now which doesn't really address my problem of needing to be home. The reason I'm saying that I would like to get in there is because HP is known for their good benefits (I.e. the company is closed on Sukkot and Pesach, one example) and they know how to treat their employees. But moving there JUST for that isn't going to make me any happier if my bottom line is that I want to be home for my kids. It would be jumping from the frying pan into the fire kinda thing.

Avigyail
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rachel19977




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 27 2007, 1:14 pm
Hmm. Maybe the best thing is to have heart to heart with DH, maybe some time off to do something for YOU will help?
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momo2boys




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 27 2007, 1:18 pm
OMG!!! you seem to have a reall big problem, NOTHING I KNOW OF I havent read it too long!! lol lol lol
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