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Caterers fees!
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2007, 4:24 pm
If you cook your own food you can also look for foods that are much cheaper eg food based on beans and grains.
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2007, 4:46 pm
I can't imagine making all my own food, but perhaps OP can make some of it, or if her friends could help, and then just buy the cheaper items.

I have been to simchas with homemade challah, for example, and THAT"S a nice touch !!!!!
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su7kids




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2007, 4:57 pm
We did a regular kiddush for our boys' Bar Mitzvahs and then a seudah shlishi at home. When I say regular kiddush, I mean a few more cakes and some drinks.

For seudah shlishi, we did tuna salad, egg salad, pasta salad and a big green salad, and cookies.

We spent a LOT of money on the tefillin, hat and suit, and I didn't think I needed to put my money into the food. The kid was bar mitzva'd whether there was a party or not.

We did a small thing at home with the girls for their bas mitzvah, women only, salads and mezonos, and for the weddings, the ones we had a say in, we did very inexpensively. The one was out of our control, and was in a city that we had no choice anyway.

I think that when one is on scholarship at school, it is a major chutzpa to put on a big party, regardless of what the kid or the community dictates. We worked within our budget and our means. We have made 4 bar mitzvahs, 3 bat mitzvahs, and been part of 3 weddings and have not had to mortgage our house yet.

The ONLY way to keep costs down, is to make the guest list smaller. I figured if anyone is upset that they were left off, then they won't speak to me, and I don't have to invite them to the next simcha!! <tic>
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rosehill




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2007, 5:02 pm
chocolate moose wrote:
Also- the caterer will tell you that you have to serve a fruit cup or appetizer, soup, and other chazerei b/c they are going to charge you for it anyway.

now THAT is a crime !


CM, I agree with you that you shouldn't have to pay for soup/appetizer unless you really want it, but the caterer has another perspective.

When my brother was getting married, they were trying very hard to contain costs. One thing they asked the caterer was to have only a cold smorg. Surely it would be cheaper if there was no hot food!! (It was an 11am wedding, so that seemed reasonable).

The caterer wouldn't do it, because even though it was my brother's wedding, it's his advertising. He was afraid people would come to the wedding and say, I don't want to use him, he's so stingy, there was nothing hot to eat at the smorg.
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2007, 5:03 pm
[quote="su7kids"]We did a regular kiddush for our boys' Bar Mitzvahs and then a seudah shlishi at home. When I say regular kiddush, I mean a few more cakes and some drinks./quote]

Being that the kiddish in dh's shul costs a thousand dollars, I don't know if you'd save anything.

su7kids wrote:
I think that when one is on scholarship at school, it is a major chutzpa to put on a big party, regardless of what the kid or the community dictates.


If you don't pay full tuition for each kid, then they officially ARE on scholarship, aren't they ? By you, I don't mean YOU.

su7kids wrote:
The ONLY way to keep costs down, is to make the guest list smaller. I figured if anyone is upset that they were left off, then they won't speak to me, and I don't have to invite them to the next simcha!! <tic>


HAHAHAHAHA

We made ds's bar mitzvah in a take out place, with mainly his friends. a bar mitzvah IS for the child, after all ....
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2007, 5:27 pm
For my brothers bar mitzva, this is what my parents did. (and this is what a lot of people did then, alas now I think standards have risen) I think they sponsored the kiddush in shul, just the reg. kiddush (it did not cost $1000, just cakes and pickles). Then there was a seuda to which were invited only the boys classmates (about 20 kids), teachers, and relatives. (we didn't have a huge number of cousins so that wasn't so many)

Then there was also something at home, a buffet in the evening, (I think it was called a reception) eg cakes, fishballs, salad, sandwiches, fruit to which all the family friends/community were invited to. People came in for a few minutes or half an hour, said mazel tov and left.

(with my younger brothers my mother had these catered. she had less energy then. Also cooking is not really her thing, and she works full time. And she said it wasn't so much more to have it catered - but I think the caterer must have been pretty cheap)
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2007, 5:32 pm
I told my kids, ONE party. No multiple thing with different invitations, outfits, etc.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2007, 6:13 pm
Quote:
I told my kids, ONE party. No multiple thing with different invitations, outfits, etc.
Quote:


I agree it easier to make one party. But it is cheaper to invite 40 or 50 people to a sit down seuda and everyone else to a buffet reception. And why do you need seperate outfits?
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imaamy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2007, 8:27 pm
I agree with what everyone has said, and I thank you for all the perspectives. I will find out more at the meeting in January, but the way our shul is now is there is one room for services and social events. The new sanctuary will be completed by the time of our simcha, but right now everyone at services just stays for the buffet, cause there isn't room to have a separate kiddush then change around for a full meal....so I'm paying all that money for people I don't even know to eat at our simcha! I can't kick people out, that is just rude. I will have family in from out-of-town, so can't tell them to manage on their own for the other meals. However, I am not doing a big teeny-bopper party like so many have. Also we don't have people cooking on their own and bringing in at our shul, and I anticipate being too stressed anyway!
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sarahd




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 10 2007, 4:55 am
How about if you don't sponsor a kiddush at shul at all? A cousin of mine had lots of family who came in for her sons' bar mitzvas so she made a family seuda Friday night and had a reception after the seuda, with fruits, nuts, cakes and drinks. Shabbos morning she had a seuda only for family - no kiddush, so no outsiders had a reason to stay. Then she had a seuda "bo bayom" for the BM boy's classmates and closest family (I.e. siblings and grandparents.)
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shanie5




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 10 2007, 11:12 pm
Quote:
The new sanctuary will be completed by the time of our simcha, but right now everyone at services just stays for the buffet, cause there isn't room to have a separate kiddush then change around for a full meal....


we have only one room for the kiddush and meal too. so we have a kiddush, and when the olam leaves (or even when only most leave), we clean up from the kiddush and reset the room for the family meal.

Th e cost of catering isnt cheap, but the prices quoted in the origional post tell me that I am charging way too little for my work!!!!!!!!!!!!
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