hard to cope | Imamother

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Hard to cope

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amother

Mon, Dec 10 2007, 4:53 am

Lately I've been feeling down. Seems to go in cycles with me (I am the one who wrote the mother vent about a day or 2 ago). I am sorta down on life now. Down on relationships all around. And then I get a call today. Someone from my home town - a guy my age (my parents are friends with his) lost their 1st baby, less than 3 months old today. Thinking about a dying child... nothing gets to me like that. I feel a little unable to cope with everything.

mimivan

Mon, Dec 10 2007, 5:18 am

Wow....I feel really down too. No need to go into details. You can read my "banished" thread. I'm sorry to hear about your friend's baby. Nothing much I can tell you except that you are not alone. I sometimes don't want to leave the house because I am afraid something with push me over the edge (I dont' feel this way all the time b'h just at times like this)...can't explain, a bit overwhelming...just to let you know you are not the only one.

amother

Mon, Dec 10 2007, 5:24 am

OP here. It actually does help to hear. You can read my other thread under family--> mother/parents vent (or something like that). I felt fed up. I feel stuck in my house, poor off financially, no friends etc.

mimivan

Mon, Dec 10 2007, 5:47 am

OP

I posted a response under that other thread...

btMOMtoFFBs

Mon, Dec 10 2007, 7:15 am

Its good to remember that we all have Up Days and Down Days in life. Sounds like you are both having some "Down Days"...

Take some baby steps to get yourselves back to the Up Days... Do your hishtadlus to put the parents and in-law troubles into perspective ... put it behind you a little bit more each day... and try to get yourselves back to those "Up Days" you both deserve.

((((hugs))))

greenfire

Mon, Dec 10 2007, 11:00 am

holidays do that when we are looking for the comfort of family and friends and things aren't as we wish they could be ... it puts a damper on the spirit bringing you down Crying

Mitzvahmom

Mon, Dec 10 2007, 11:22 am

yup seeing all the couples and people with complete families..

it really is not easy to cope, you miss that aspect

but we go on and try to be happy Smile

amother

Mon, Dec 10 2007, 10:49 pm

There are some ways that are so much better now. (Obviously - otherwise we would have stayed married, no?) Focus on that and make the present as good as possible, instead of thinking about what “could/should” have been. Don’t forget – those other families you see have their peckelas also – you’re just looking at them from the outside. Don’t confuse reality with an impossible dream.
“If life gives you lemons, make lemonade” – add your own sugar and spice and do things that you couldn’t have done before as a “complete” family.
May we always feel Hashem’s comfort and revealed good.

Mitzvahmom

Mon, Dec 10 2007, 11:00 pm

amen!!

amother

Tue, Dec 11 2007, 12:42 am

Op here. I am married.

amother

Tue, Dec 11 2007, 1:11 am

oops, sorry about that. embarrassed

I guess I identified too closely.
I know there are plenty of other tzoros around in the world - Hashem seems to have enough creative varieties of pain to give out all around.
You should have a yeshua krova in a revealed way and a happy chanuka.
(But in any case, it's still true that you see others from the outside and don't know what peckelas they're dealing with inside.)

amother

Tue, Dec 11 2007, 1:13 am

A close friend of mine lost a child to SIDS - not her first. I don't know what to say other than life goes on and may they be zoiche to many simchas.

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