I miss my babies! | Imamother

mom21n2

Wed, Feb 06 2008, 12:31 pm

Last night I stayed up with them until 5AM just so I could watch them snooze (they don't really sleep). Of course I was late to work today. But I never see them. Sad

amother

Wed, Feb 06 2008, 12:43 pm

I am a sahm. I work about 4 hours a week, mostly at night. I don't mean to be rude, but unless you really have to work for parnasah, why do people do that to their kids??
In my humble opinion, if you have kids- raise them! I'm not against women working, I am against women who work full time b/c they just "need their break"

NotInNJMommy

Wed, Feb 06 2008, 12:47 pm

I think you are being rude whether you meant to or not.

Most women, esp those who miss their babies, are working bc it's necessary. Dont' assume the worst about us. It's not supportive or helpful or ahavas yisroel.

We "do that" to our kids so we can pay rent, tuition, eat, go to doctors, and try not to leech off of the gov't or become slaves to our credit cards. I think that is why most women on this site "do that".

Most of us could stay home, but wait, we wouldn't ahve one!

mom21n2

Wed, Feb 06 2008, 12:48 pm

By the way, I posted this under working women, so unless amother you are wahm, why even visit? (I know 4 hours, mostly at night, well lucky you).

mimivan

Wed, Feb 06 2008, 8:07 pm

OP you are very brave to start this thread...I work too (yes, have to dh is a student) and even when I was only working at home part time and had my son in the care of a sitter for a few hours, I was getting bashed upside the head on this site for it.

The women who bash are either anti-collel or whose husbands have decent jobs and they can afford to stay home. A different planet, IMHO, from the reality of our lives.

good luck!

mimivan

Wed, Feb 06 2008, 8:12 pm

BTW, because of all the bashing directed against those of us who work (it happens EVERY thread) Does anyone think I should speak to Yael about making this forum a closed one?

mimivan

Wed, Feb 06 2008, 9:44 pm

I was doing some freelance writing, but I needed to make a more stable income, so now I work full time for a website. I need childcare just as if I worked in an office...Many WAHMs do. At first it is easy to think if you work at home, you don't need childcare, but it doesn't take long to realize this usually isn't so...

Atali

Wed, Feb 06 2008, 10:21 pm

mimivan wrote:

BTW, because of all the bashing directed against those of us who work (it happens EVERY thread) Does anyone think I should speak to Yael about making this forum a closed one?

Yes, I think it should be closed

zigi

Wed, Feb 06 2008, 11:32 pm

I work with my baby. but the older kids. I get about 4 hours with them part of the time we are doing errands and walking around.

miriamnechama

Thu, Feb 07 2008, 7:09 am

at least 4 hours.. ds2 spends the afternoon eve.. and ds1 finishes at 4 so the evening..

and rosh chodesh they come home half day...

Marion

Thu, Feb 07 2008, 8:20 am

It depends on what time they wake up, and it's different for each child. With the baby, well, he travels with me on the bus, so I have 2 hours with him right off the bat. I'd say for him closer to 4-5 hours a day because he's nursing and his daycare is next door to where I work so I can still nurse (that's 4-5 hours in a 24 hour period, not just waking hours). For DS#1, if he's up at 5:30 so I see him about 2 hours a day; if I have to wake him to take him to daycare, then only about an hour a day. I get home in time to nurse DS#2, then give DS#1 a bath, toothbrushing, a story, and bed.

gold21

Thu, Feb 07 2008, 9:12 am

mom21n2, when I worked full time, I missed my son sooo much. what I did to help my sad feelings was that I made nighttime into snuggle-time. me and my son slept in the same bed and cuddled all night long.
now, I know this goes against many parenting books: dont sleep with your baby, its bad training, etc: but it worked for me!
so thats what I would suggest to you.
you say you have babies though: twins I guess? so maybe just put them right next to your bed, since you cant fit them both into your bed probably...
whatever you do, bonding time with your babies every single day is vital.
good luck!

ps now I work part time, and its a world of difference.
if you can ever manage to cut down your hours, in a year from now, in a month from now, in 2 years from now, whatever: definitely do!

rise above

Thu, Feb 07 2008, 10:05 am

I have a (yummy) 4 month old who I wish I would see more! the truth is though at this stage I am still with him a decent amount of time even though I work a 40 hr job. he's up by 7 and I drop him off a little before 9 and then I pick him up at 5 and he's up until at least 8... and then he's up in middle of the night enough times to keep us bonding Smile

also he's all mine from friday 1:00 until monday morning so for those 68 hours I enjoy him to the fullest before the next week begins.

mom21n2

Thu, Feb 07 2008, 10:49 am

Gold, That is pretty much what I do. Except, I'm still doing it with my older son, who is four. I never saw him except at night, so I "made up for it" then, but now he refuses to sleep in his own bed. What I end up doing is alternating nights. One night with the babies (yes, it's twins) (then DH has to stay with DS#1) and the next night with DS#1. Still, when I'm at work all day, I have withdrawal. And I feel really guilty for only being able to be with the kids when I'm exhausted. BTW, after yesterday, I was all set to come in here and delete this whole thread, b/c I felt so alone. So thanks to everyone who responded since then. Even though it's tough, it's nice to be able to share with women who can at least understand what I'm feeling.

613

Thu, Feb 07 2008, 12:09 pm

I only work 24 hours a week and miss my baby so much!
It was especially hard when I first went back to work (at 12 weeks).
It was also hard the past few weeks because she wasn't happy at the babysitter or home with dh- only happy with mommy. BARUCH HASHEM this week was much better and she's been very happy Smile

happy baby=happy mommy!

Raisin

Fri, Feb 08 2008, 7:02 am

I clicked on the poll - there is no indication whatsoever that it is for working women.

(I do work part time, but im on maternity leave)