Invitation to Bridal Shower?

amother

Wed, Feb 13 2008, 1:27 pm

I recently received a wedding invitation to the wedding of a neighbor's daughter. The wedding will be overseas. Enclosed in the invitation, was a photocopied note that I am invited to a bridal shower held locally.

This rubbed me the wrong way and seemed to me to be a request for a gift. Where I come from, bridal showers are for the close (female) relatives of the kallah and her friends - not the mothers friends, and certainly not "friendly neighbors" (in other words, I am not a close friend of the mother). What do you think?

Btw, the kallah's family is chassidish and originally (not so long ago) from Brooklyn, and I am litvish and from NY, but outside Brooklyn - in case it's a cultural thing that s/o can shed light on for me.

Also, before anyone blows my post out of proportion - I'm not angry or upset at them - it just rubbed me the wrong way and I'm wondering if I was just misreading.

(Amother to avoid identifying anyone involved.)

amother

Wed, Feb 13 2008, 1:33 pm

I think just brush it off. dont go, and thats it. I dont mind going to a shower of a friend who is getting married in another city (and getting them a gift, going to say congrats), but the child of an acquaintance (neighbor), getting married in another country, the wedding invitation seemed like it was just out of "courtesy" and I think you have absolutely no obligation to go to the shower or get a gift! just forget about it, thats my advice.

amother

Wed, Feb 13 2008, 1:46 pm

in such cases, people often make "big" sheva brachos. a sheva brachos isnt an "invitation to give a gift" which a shower is. to ask people who wont be partaking in your simcha and are just acquaintances to give a girl they dont know a gift, is a bit much it think.

Squash

Wed, Feb 13 2008, 1:49 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

I asume they're making it "big" because most ppl are not going overseas to the wedding.

\

I was going to write that.

I wouldn't take it so much as a request for a gift, more as an invitation to a party because the wedding will be overseas. so what, you'll bring along a small something.

Maybe they will not be back during sheva brachos and therefore will not have any other time to do a local thing.

Just my 2 cents, for what it's worth.