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Working full time with little kids - support



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mom13




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 18 2008, 7:28 pm
I am a working mom with 3 little kids. My husband learns. I am finding it very hard and I was wondering if anyone is in the same situation. I need tips on managing with the kids, suppers.. anyone in a similar situation?
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mimivan




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 18 2008, 7:37 pm
Yes...I'm here..dh is not in collel anymore, but just is busy and still a student so the lion's share of the income is still on my shoulders.

1) flylady.net...for routines that can keep your home in shape. Also routines to keep you feeling happy...it's amazing how much we neglect ourselves. Most steps dont' take more than 15 minutes

2) plan ahead, cook ahead freeze (I can't do this because I have a tiny freezer Crying ) always have a soup and/or salad in the fridge so there is always something to fall back on. When I just can't deal, I have a soup and pop in some potatoes in the oven for baked potatoes.

3) make the night before and put in fridge (if not taking out of freezer)...clothes out night before etc...
4) enjoy the time you spend with the kids...I try to get all cooking done before, otherwise it can be tense.
5) take tiny naps...20 minutes...if you need to.

I have a weekly chart I draw up every motzoi shabbos. One column is meals, another errands another work, another cleaning for diff days.
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gold21




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 18 2008, 8:03 pm
Well: how old are the kids, what are the hours, where are the kids while u work (babysitter in house, drop off, school), and what is your budget like?
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gold21




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 18 2008, 8:09 pm
Oh I just read more carefully: so u work full time and the kids are little...
Well I found working full time to be hard on my son, so my suggestion to u would be to focus less on making supper and more on spending whatever time you do have with the kids. Kids need you, they don't need big suppers. Pasta and lotsa love should work just fine. An untidy home and lotsa snuggles would be great too.
Focus on what's important here.
And the fact that you are finding it hard is more than understandable. Many kollel wives have a hard time with balancing everything, tho lotsa women seem to enjoy pretending that they have it all together.
Is it hard on your kids? It was by me and that's why I'm no longer a kollel wife! My dh works and I work much less hours!
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amother


 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2008, 10:06 pm
I also work full time with little kids, same town as you. I work with many other women that have young children, so I suppose we are sort of a support group as well as we are all basically on the same hectic schedule with the same hectic deadlines at home and at work. it is def. a juggle. I find that having the children's dinner ready to be heated is a must- they come home hungry. hungry children who are made to wait become cranky children. I also have a small freezer and t/f cant freeze much in advance so I use the space I have for freezing kids dinners. it also helps to have fixed days for various activities (laundry, shopping etc). I truthfully sometimes I feel like I just dont have a moment to breath!
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morahaviva




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 20 2008, 12:18 am
Here too! I just came up from the laundry room (12:15am) and will finish folding then go straighten up the house, and hopefully get to sleep a bit b4 having to wake up at 6:15 to shower and start the troops moving! Good luck! Now that my oldest is old enough to watch the others it gets a bit easier, since I can drop them off after I pick them up from school and run errands without shleping the lot of em! IT GETS EASIER(in some ways, harder in others) SO WHY AM I AT THE COMPUTER????
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mom21n2




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 20 2008, 11:32 am
Me too! I have help with the kids at home, but they still need time with me. Often I have to let the housework slide. I like the idea of having a weekly chart. Also, I just picked up a big freezer so I hope to cook ahead and fill it. DH only wants to eat shawarma so.... What We can do this, we just need to learn from eachother!!!
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BrachaC




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 23 2008, 5:57 pm
I am also trying to work this out. BH my third baby is a great baby, but the amount of physical work needed to maintain a home for 5 people, get to work at 7:00, get out of work by 3:15 to pick up my middle daughter and then it's home to dinner, homework, bedtime and finally a little baby time before she goes to sleep. Now Pesach is coming....LAUNDRY is my DOWNFALL...anyone have any suggestions on that. I find that I can just manage to the every 3 days for my oldest's uniform skirt, but today I folded laundry for the first time in 2 weeks!!
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mom21n2




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 24 2008, 10:22 am
I have been working on the laundry issue and I am developing a pretty workable system. Every Sunday morning, first thing, I go around the house and collect all the dirty laundry. Then I throw it all in the wash throughout the day. At the end of the day I have baskets full of clean, unfolded laundry. Then I use the fly-lady fifteen minutes to fold and put away. Usually Monday evenings. First I do the kids' stuf, then mine. If I don't get to DH's stuff, What Maybe he'll do it?
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STovah




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 24 2008, 12:10 pm
I am in a similar situation - 3 little kids, husband learning, working full-time. From what I hear, Lakewood is a tough place in terms of babysitting arrangements - I have a babysitter in my home who takes care of dishes, laundry, dressing and bathing the kids, etc, so that helps a lot. What I find harder than supper issues is bedtime - the kids get quite zany once I get home (between 6 and 6:30) - excitement to see me I guess). Any tips on that?
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mom13




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2008, 2:03 pm
whats the fly lady 15 min thing? sounds good. so funny, I do the same thing, sunday is laundry day, kinda tough with the kids around, but I try to get it done. but folding, oh sometimes it just doesnt happen. by the time friday comes around the baskets are basically empty!
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mimivan




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2008, 3:40 pm
www.flylady.net
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montrealmommy




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2008, 4:52 pm
I cook ahead and freeze a lot. When I freeze I try to put a wholesome meal in 1 pan so that I don't have to think. Ex. baked chicken with rice and brocoli - yes it all reheats nicely and is quite tasty at that! Same with milchig, ex. quiche with fresh whatever-veggie-is-n-the-fridge!

Fast suppers incl. pasta, grilled cheese and deli sandwhiche

Laundry, I am very very fortunate, dh takes care of doing it, we fold together (nothin says bondin like clean socks at 12am!) and I usu. put away

house cleaning is our downfall. When we moved in my parent's paid a cleaning service to make sure the place was move in ready (we rent) and they didn't do so great on some things so I have a credit - I am saving it for spring/pesach cleaning! probably next week - it will be the first time in almost a yer my whole house will be clean and tidy at the same time!!!! I know it sounds bad, but it's just not a priority to us.

I really like that chart idea, I have a menu and shopping, but I htink I am going to add the other columns.

Oh, ya, I also forgot, never mind the house care, work and kids, don't forget you need TLC too, it's taken me 5 years to realize that one and when I remember it really makes a difference!
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Sunangel




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2008, 8:27 pm
My solution is having DH pitch in. In my opinion if you work, DH is as much repsonsible for the house as you are. I do most of it, but my husband pitches in big time. Laundry is his responsibility. Teach him how to do it, there will be a few mistakes but its worth it. Bathing the baby, making the beds, packing lunches, grocery shopping and paying bills are all on DH.
I am out of the house by 6:30 so mornings are daddy-time. He gets the baby up, washed, dressed and to daycare.
DH is very cute about it, he has his chores on a list and knows what he has to get done.
He is rewarded with a happy, serene and loving wife.
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creativemommyto3




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 28 2008, 5:08 am
lucky you! I am learning that I have to do it myself or my husband feels his life is so crazy!
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