Checking out our apt

Seraph

Mon, Mar 31 2008, 2:22 pm

Our landlord has listed our apartment on the market.
He's not actively looking to sell it, but if theres a buyer, he'll sell.
Our lease isnt up for another 6 months at least, and after it is up, I would like to renew.
People come often to check out our apartment, most of the time just calling 10-20 minutes before, once they've already hit the road to come here. So we cant really say no, so we're stuck with sudden guests. My house isnt always presentable, and I need more than 10 minutes to make the house presentable. So they check out our messy apartment and I'm uncomfortable because I feel like a terrible ballebusteh...
Not to mention that I need to work in the evenings in one of our bedrooms, in perfect silence, and cant do that when they're here... Or I'm trying to put uriel to bed, also in the same room, and cant do that while they're here...

But all those annoyances are mere nothings compared to the one big annoyance- the master bedroom.
I feel bedrooms are very private. I do not like people coming into my bedroom. I try my very best not to let people in my bedroom, no matter how close we are, because I don't feel its tzanua to announce my status. My bedroom isn't arranged in a way that it is very easy to change it back and forth, so as a policy I just don't let anyone into my room.
So when people come to check out our apartment, I DO NOT want these random strangers walking into my room, even if just to check out the dimensions... It is my own private personal space, and its enough they're intruding on my house with just a 10 minute heads up- I DO NOT want them in my bedroom! When they come check out the apartment, I want to close the door of the room and say "Sorry, we don't let people into our bedroom" and show them the other bedroom which has pretty similar dimensions.
My husband says that its not nice to do that, because they're coming to check out the apartment bec they're looking into buying it, so they should be allowed to see all the rooms. But I disagree. I feel its enough that there intruding on our lives and home unannounced, I need my privacy and dont want to show them the bedroom.

What do you suggest I do?

mamacita

Mon, Mar 31 2008, 2:30 pm

I'd mention to the landlord that it's in his best interest to tell potential buyers to arrange at least a day ahead of time to see the apartment. Tell him that then you'll be able to tidy it to maximize the space, etc, etc.

As far as the bedroom, if I was looking to buy a place I'd definitely need to see all of the rooms. I totally agree with you about the sanctity of the master bedroom, after all the kadosh hakadoshim wasn't on public display either. In this case though, I think an exception has to be made. Of course this will be easier to swallow if they are respecting your boundaries enough to call ahead with the proper amount of fore-warning.

Akeres Habayis

Mon, Mar 31 2008, 2:59 pm

hmmm,I went thru the same thing,as long as u have a contract,u have the right to choose when they can come.if they call 15min before,I would tell them no,its not a good time,please give me a day's notice!
the potential new owner(didnt sign the contract yet) showed up w/her kids bc they are so excited about the apt,that she just had to drop by since she was in the neighborhood shock

I wasn't happy about it,and told her in so many words,this is my time to relax,not have people come over,I'm not even dressed yet!
of course she apologized profusely.
as long as u have a contract u can decide when is a good time for u

Seraph

Mon, Mar 31 2008, 3:06 pm

Unfortunately they're calling my husband to tell them that they're on the way, and he doesnt have the heart to say "No, you can't come".

This has been going on for so long, people coming to check out the apartment at least once a month, and I'm so fed uo with it. I don't like my bedroom on display. Especially with strangers.
And its not like its a rare occurence. Sometimes its even twice a week...
I DONT LIKE IT!!!

My husband said that as long as we dont have anthing inappropriate out, he doesnt see why its untznius for them to see our bedroom, but its much more than that. I don't plan on letting my kids in my bedroom on a regular basis, I especially dont want strangers in it...

And getting the landlord to tell people that I need a days notice for chekcing out the apartment... well, I may not be the amother with the stove problem, but I have other issues with my landlord not being considerate of us... which leads me to the fac tthat I really should start another thread on that...

Seraph

Mon, Mar 31 2008, 3:12 pm

Akeres Habayis wrote:

if u make the beds (throw a blanket on ea bed)before them coming no one will know what your status is.I think what helps make decisions for people is the master bedroom,I couldnt' imagine not looking at it.
but again u can decided when they can look at it

It really depends how you make it. I have twin beddings for nidda and king size for not, so ur advice isnt so simple...

amother

Mon, Mar 31 2008, 3:21 pm

All I can say is OY, I know how you feel. I am on bedrest now and our house is for sale. Even with notice, our house is flying, sometimes I am lying down in my bed and the realtor brings people through. I want to embarrassed

be swallowed up by the ground, but we have to sell our house so we have no choice. It must be even harder when you're renting because you don't have that same deep desire to find a buyer like the owner does.

Strawberry

Mon, Mar 31 2008, 3:47 pm

I put this sort of thing in my contract. I will only show the apartment once every 2 weeks and I need at least a day notice. (Plus I need 3 months notice if someone is buying the apartment so that I can find a new one for myself-consider making such a deal!)

I also am not happy about showing my bedroom.I feel the same way and dont allow others to see my bedroom normally. However. it is impossible to purchase an apartment without seeing the whole apartment (especially such an essential room). Therefore I have no choice and have to show potential buyers my bedroom.

You should not put up with last minute callers though. Just say NO! If youre husband cant say no, let him pass you the phone or say that you are going out or unavailable or whatever. Dont let them in. It is unfair to you and you have to put your foot down.

Ima2

Mon, Mar 31 2008, 8:43 pm

My husband and I have this same discussion over and over, only he takes your side and I take your dh side! I understand the sanctity of the MBR, but since pple need to see your entire apt, they should be entitled to see the MBR as well. When we moved from our old apt and the movers had to give me estimates, they had to see the MBR cuz they had to see what was in it for themselves to give me a binding quote (you'll have to do the same when you move, unless you do it yourself with a uhaul). I think that the MBR shouldn't be on display too, it's inappropriate. But when the time comes that pple need to see your room l'tachlis, then you should be able to make exceptions.
However, if your lease isn't up until 6 months and you want to renew, then why is the lanlord listing your apt and why are pple coming to see it?
Aside from that, I think that it'd make you feel a lot better if the pple gave you more warning before they came(just like everyone else said). I like the Strawberry's idea of giving the lanlord a schedule of when pple can come by. You have a life too and he's not desperate to rent it yet! I had a similar sit. where a chosson and kallah (not yet married) called to come look at our apt when we were about to move (boxes everywhere and a BIG mess) on erev shabbos. I told them they could come by at a certain time, and when I realized that this was not a good time, but 15 minutes later would (so I can get my dd to sleep and start getting ready for shabbos-in the winter time in NY). They said they had to come now and that they were outside my apt building. They pleaded with me to come up and see the apt. I felt that they were being so rude and intrusive-they had no idea what it's like to get ready for shabbos when it's early and you have 2 small kids! I let them come up, but I thought it was very childish of them. Pple don't always realize how they inconvenience pple until it happens to them. I would say something next time and not let them come. Just explain nicely that you need more notice b/c you're very busy too!

newmom

Mon, Mar 31 2008, 9:59 pm

You are right to be annoyed about people wanting to come with short notice, and as others have said, you need to work out something with the landlord over this.
As far as the bedroom, you are being unrealistic and slightly immature. How could someone buy an apartment if they can't see the master bedroom? Sorry, but when you own your apartment that is the only way you'll be able to keep all people out of your bedroom. That's life.

louche

Mon, Mar 31 2008, 10:10 pm

It's outrageous. You should insist that the people make an appointment at least a day in advance. what do you care, it's not as if you're going to lose out on a sale! if you were the seller and decided that you didn't want to risk losing a customer, ok, that's your decision. but this is an unreasonable disruption of your life. You're letting these people get away with murder. the time to put your foot down is now.

I see your POV re: bedroom, but the plain truth is a prospective buyer has the right to see the entire apt including the closets and the cabinets under the sinks. That's part of the reason why you need the advance notice--so you can hide/camouflage/lock up/get rid of anything you don't want prying eyes to see.

as for the callers who are already downstairs or up the block--suppose they called and you were out? Or--ahem---well, let's just say "otherwise occupied"? They'd have to come back another time. So be it. You're occupied, and they have to come back another time.

peach

Mon, Mar 31 2008, 10:16 pm

breslov wrote:

Akeres Habayis wrote:

It really depends how you make it. I have twin beddings for nidda and king size for not, so ur advice isnt so simple...

But they don't know that. I mean they'll know if they see king size linen, but if its twin separate, they wont know if thats how you always keep it.

That point aside, I totally hear you. I feel the same way about my bedroom, and it really is private.

However, I don't think you have a choice. You do have a choice in terms of telling them that you need notice for them to come, but I don't think you have a choice in not showing the master bedroom. When we lived in an apartment and were moving, we had to show it to potential renters. It was definitely not ideal, but it had to be done. Eventually, when you own, you will be in charge of that. But for now, I think you just gotta do what you gotta do. Not easy, though.

Hatzlacha!