rude person imo- what do you think

Seraph

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 4:46 am

so this lady called us up today this morning, and I felt she was very rude. tell me please if I'm overreacting or if you agree she was rude.

firstly, she called us at 8:00 am when my husband and I were still sleeping. strike one. (see my thread on polite times to call)
she wanted to check out our apartment today, wanted to know when is a good time to come.
call at least 24 hours in advance! strike two.
I told my husband to tell her between 12 and 4. Why? Because after 4 pm I'm either working or putting my baby to bed and if she comes then, it'll be a huge tircha on me. and my husband isnt home then. (tircha bec my baby is a very light sleeper, and if I'm in the middle of putting him to bed and get up in the middle, there goes his already too short nap, hes up, cranky but hyper, for the next 2 hours at least.) and if he happens to be asleep, I'll be working and I cannot answer the door during my 20 minute phone calls I must make for work. and if I'm not working and hes asleep and they come in- he'll wake up and there goes his nap- I've got a cranky baby on my hands.
so we told her between 12 and 4.
she says "I can't come later?" ma'am, we already told u the times you can come, u cant come then, tough! strike three.
"cant I come after 4?" what didnt u understand, we told you already, between 12 and 4 only, strike four!
My husband says hes not going to be home then. "cant you leave a key with your neighbor so we can see it while you're gone?" ma'am, I have no idea who you are, why on earth would I let u come see the apt when no ones home? its rude to even ask, imo, and your being waaaaaaaay too pushy. 2 strikes for that. Strikes five and six.

after lots of nudging, we agree to let her come at six. but not before, and not after!! bec if she does she'll be wrecking our evening even more than she already is.
uch.
am I overreacting and being immature? (you can say so, not anon, I wont get offended. my husband also thinks I'm overreacting somewhat.)
or was this lady really rude and do I have a right to be annoyed at her?

mimivan

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 4:51 am

It sounds like she is just pushy by nature and probably doesn't know she is rude...I know alot of people like this...

In any case, she doesn't sound like the kind of person you'd want to deal wtih on a regular basis.

shalhevet

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 5:56 am

Between 12 and 4 is perfectly reasonable. You are giving her a 4-hr stretch. I wouldn't have let her make it at 6 (I'm almost willing to put money on it that she'll turn up at half past with some excuse...). The wanting for you to leave a key when you don't even know her is shock

I answered on the other thread that I really don't think it is rude to call at 8am in Israel. She may have thought that you might leave and she'd miss you once you go to work or whatever. You and h have to adapt yourselves to living here or pay the price!

freidasima

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 5:59 am

Shalhevet is right, most Israelis are up early. My friends know that on workdays they can get me after 7 am but not before and if I am off heaven help anyone calling before 9. But you had every right to think this is obnoxious behavior (and unfortunately typically Israeli) and set limits!

BeershevaBubby

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 6:24 am

Um.. if she and/or her husband are working then 4 p.m. isn't a very reasonable time to expect them to be able to see the apartment.

Granted if I had been calling to make the appointment and couldn't do it until after 4 because of work, I would have said so.

Seraph

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 6:32 am

its not because of work, its because she was planning a trip here at a certain time to see other apartments.
And if she needed a specific time, she should give me some more advanced warning...

I dont know how I'm gonna handle her coming here. I have a feeling I'll be really rude to her, because "magiya la", ya know? But I know thats wrong. But I don't feel like being polite to her.

Tamiri

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 6:43 am

shalhevet wrote:

Ditto Shalhevet and I am willing to bet she won't be there by 6. Please keep us posted Breslov.

Last edited by Tamiri on Tue, Apr 08 2008, 7:42 am; edited 1 time in total

catonmylap

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 7:10 am

I think she was very rude. And I don't think you had to give in. You could have insisted on the 24 hour notice, though I'd probably have given in too and just been mad about it.

Your baby doesn't nap between 12pm and 4pm?

Seraph

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 7:23 am

catonmylap wrote:

he does, but I dont need to work then, so if he sleeps more badly, it doesnt wreck my whole day... and I cant be impossible and say "never come" bec I dont know when exactly he sleeps..

yo'ma

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 8:03 am

Try to be dan l'kav zchus. You don't know her reasons for not being able to come at those times, or only to come after, or for having to see it that day.

Seraph

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 8:35 am

I can be dan her lekaf zechus a million times over, but I dont have to wreck my evening and thereby my week (bec if I dont work one night, the rest of my week is stressful, trying to make up my work hours) just because of whatever her reasoning may be that she has to see my apt on short notice at the exact time that she wants.
and I decided... if uriels asleep or I'm putting him to sleep, and its before 6:55 or after 6:10, I'm just not gonna go answer the door. I said 6:00 exactly, not before, not after...
and if hes not asleep, I'm not gonna let her in to see the apt if shes more than 15 minutes in either direction, no matter how pushy she is.
I'll say "my husband said 6:00 exactly, not before or after, for a reason. come back at 6:00 (if she's too early) or come back some other day, but give me at least 24 hrs notice, or just don't come at all."

Tamiri

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 8:51 am

breslov wrote:

so this lady called us up today this morning, and I felt she was very rude. tell me please if I'm overreacting or if you agree she was rude.

firstly, she called us at 8:00 am when my husband and I were still sleeping. strike one. (see my thread on polite times to call) It's a totally normal time to call in Israel, when most people are up and out by then. Or, they are leaving the house for a day of work and she wanted to get you before then. Does she have your home phone number or a cell phone number? I don't see this as a particular strike. And I am a stickler for "proper", but this is Israel
she wanted to check out our apartment today, wanted to know when is a good time to come.
call at least 24 hours in advance! strike two. Did she know this rule? Was she given advance warning of your terms?
I told my husband to tell her between 12 and 4. Why? Because after 4 pm I'm either working or putting my baby to bed and if she comes then, it'll be a huge tircha on me. and my husband isnt home then. (tircha bec my baby is a very light sleeper, and if I'm in the middle of putting him to bed and get up in the middle, there goes his already too short nap, hes up, cranky but hyper, for the next 2 hours at least.) and if he happens to be asleep, I'll be working and I cannot answer the door during my 20 minute phone calls I must make for work. and if I'm not working and hes asleep and they come in- he'll wake up and there goes his nap- I've got a cranky baby on my hands.
so we told her between 12 and 4.
she says "I can't come later?" ma'am, we already told u the times you can come, u cant come then, tough! strike three. Hey, there is such a thing as negotiation - all she knows is someone wants to sell an apt. and that she wants to see is at time which is mutually convenient. For her, 4 is not a good time so she's trying to reach a time you can agree upon
"cant I come after 4?" what didnt u understand, we told you already, between 12 and 4 only, strike four! This is your own doing, because she got into bargaining and you followed. If you had really meant only 12-4, why didn't you stick to it? You see, it was worth it for her to "handle" with you!
My husband says hes not going to be home then. "cant you leave a key with your neighbor so we can see it while you're gone?" ma'am, I have no idea who you are, why on earth would I let u come see the apt when no ones home? its rude to even ask, imo, and your being waaaaaaaay too pushy. 2 strikes for that. Strikes five and six.

after lots of nudging, we agree to let her come at six. but not before, and not after!! bec if she does she'll be wrecking our evening even more than she already is.
uch.
am I overreacting and being immature? (you can say so, not anon, I wont get offended. my husband also thinks I'm overreacting somewhat.)
or was this lady really rude and do I have a right to be annoyed at her?

I don't think she was particularly offensive. She's Israeli. She has a goal and is doing whatever is needed to attain it. If it was your apartment you were selling, you would grit your teeth and put up with this and much more. I gave my opinion as to whether you should be in this position at all, but since you have taken it upon yourselves to show the apt. it doesn't do you any good to stress. Just take a deep breath, grin and bear it. You may meet up with someone interesting one of these days, while showing the apartment.. you never know!

Last edited by Tamiri on Tue, Apr 08 2008, 8:57 am; edited 1 time in total

smiley:)

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 8:54 am

"I don't think she was particularly offensive. She's Israeli."

LOL!!!! what a quote!!! I'll stop there...

greenfire

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 8:59 am

if it is not due to her work - then I say yes for sure - she sounds rude & pushy ... then again are you trying to rent your apt ... then again to the likes of that you won't win ...

so ... whatever did happen ... did you bite ... Cheese

Seraph

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 9:12 am

Greenie, WE"RE not trying to rent our apt. My landlord wants to sell...

Tamiri, where did u see we were bargaining? We said no a few times, until my husband gave in. I wouldnt give in, but the y were calling my husbands cell phone, so he spoke. And yea, its a cell phone she was calling, so can you explain why she was calling so early?

greenfire

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 9:15 am

aha - less of your issue ... so do it when it's good for you ... I still think she is rude ...

however - how can you let one nap mess up your whole week ?!?!?! babies are forever unpredictable and we gotta mold to them ...

Tamiri

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 9:18 am

breslov wrote:

Tamiri, where did u see we were bargaining? We said no a few times, until my husband gave in.
THAT, sweet Breslov, is what bargaining is all about!!!!! Oh, your innocence makes my day. I wonder if I was ever like that? Totally a zchut to be so tamim!

I wouldnt give in, but they were calling my husbands cell phone, so he spoke. And yea, its a cell phone she was calling, so can you explain why she was calling so early?

It's not so early in Israel. Doesn't he have caller ID? He doesn't have to answer numbers he doesn't recognize, does he? He doesn't have to answer his cell phone at all! Who gave her that number? Don't tell me the landlord.... who is getting his apartment shown for free with no skin off his back Rolling Eyes

gryp

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 9:34 am

Breslov, it sounds like you're having a culture clash with the Israeli mentality. Wink

The only thing she crossed the line about was asking to come to your apt when you're not there. shock

Seraph

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 9:40 am

No, one evening that I cant work because my baby doesnt sleep because hes overtired because someone woke him up, makes the rest of my week stressful. Doubly so if its sunday or monday...

baba

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 9:42 am

I totally agree with GR. It's just a rule in Israel that if you want something done, you have to be a bit assertive and like Tamiri said, by being a bit pushy she was in fact rewarded. That's just how it works here and it isnt considered to be rude.
Also, about the phone, I think the times for a cell are different. If you call a home phone very early or late, you're waking up the whole house. With a cell, a person can choose to leave it on or not, or turn off the sound when they don't want to be bothered. So if I'm calling a friend who I think might be asleep, I call her cell. Almost all the people I know either turn off their phones or at least the sound when they are asleep.