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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
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 Wed, May 07 2008, 11:57 am
What would you do? (if you didn't have someone to leave baby with?)
Also, may I add, it's family.
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chavy
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Wed, May 07 2008, 12:08 pm
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family you mean that u have to sit there for a while or just come and go?
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chocolate moose
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Wed, May 07 2008, 12:09 pm
we'v discused this before. it's really inappropraite. that said, sometimes it works out.
I suggst you do a search for the full story.
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mummiedearest
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Wed, May 07 2008, 12:10 pm
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last time I made a shiva call I didn't, but the family was disappointed that I didn't. if they're relatives, ask their permission, they may not mind.
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amother
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Wed, May 07 2008, 1:07 pm
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I have same ? s op going out of town to make shiva call. kids are 3months and 18 months. it's an aunt and cousins sitting
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Barbara
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Wed, May 07 2008, 1:21 pm
| chocolate moose wrote: | we'v discused this before. it's really inappropraite. that said, sometimes it works out.
I suggst you do a search for the full story. |
I don't know the story, but I'll respectfully disagree anyway. A lot of people brought their babies and children when I sat shiva, and I was glad that they did. Perhaps it depends upon the person who is sitting.
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chaylizi
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Wed, May 07 2008, 1:34 pm
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when my mother was sitting shiva this year, I flew in with my then 8 month old daughter to attend the levaiyah. a cousin made arrangements for her to be watched during the actual levaiyah. afterwards- I went to help set up the shiva house with a pregnant cousin who also didn't go to the kvurah. I was there with my baby when they came in to start sitting & the first night was only family anyway. my mother told me that I was fine & I was leaving the next day anyway. plus they couldn't have done without my help. I guess those are special circumstances though. I never would have brought her otherwise.
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chocolate moose
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Wed, May 07 2008, 2:09 pm
| Barbara wrote: | | chocolate moose wrote: | we'v discused this before. it's really inappropraite. that said, sometimes it works out.
I suggst you do a search for the full story. |
I don't know the story, but I'll respectfully disagree anyway. A lot of people brought their babies and children when I sat shiva, and I was glad that they did. Perhaps it depends upon the person who is sitting. |
Kids are a distraction and take away from what Shiva is. When I sat, I sent my kids home. When a neighbor sat for his wife, his own kids were told to go to school.
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Clarissa
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Wed, May 07 2008, 2:17 pm
I think it partially depends on one's closeness to the people who are sitting, and the circumstances of the death. If it's close family and you don't think they'd mind, then yes. If it's a very old person, maybe not so bad. But if it's a younger person, with surviving parents, then no.
CM, did I understand you correctly that children who lost a mother were sent to school, like it was an ordinary week? I'm surprised.
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chocolate moose
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Wed, May 07 2008, 2:20 pm
| Clarissa wrote: | I think it partially depends on one's closeness to the people who are sitting, and the circumstances of the death. If it's close family and you don't think they'd mind, then yes. If it's a very old person, maybe not so bad. But if it's a younger person, with surviving parents, then no.
CM, did I understand you correctly that children who lost a mother were sent to school, like it was an ordinary week? I'm surprised. |
My kids were, let's see ...... 11 and 9 when my father passed. It was summer time and I certainly could not amuse them during shiva, so dh took them home. I come from the south, remember.
As far as the children who were sent to school, yes, that's correct.
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chaylizi
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Wed, May 07 2008, 2:21 pm
| chocolate moose wrote: | we'v discused this before. it's really inappropraite. that said, sometimes it works out.
I suggst you do a search for the full story. |
is that the name of the thread?
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Clarissa
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Wed, May 07 2008, 2:23 pm
| chocolate moose wrote: | | Clarissa wrote: | I think it partially depends on one's closeness to the people who are sitting, and the circumstances of the death. If it's close family and you don't think they'd mind, then yes. If it's a very old person, maybe not so bad. But if it's a younger person, with surviving parents, then no.
CM, did I understand you correctly that children who lost a mother were sent to school, like it was an ordinary week? I'm surprised. |
My kids were, let's see ...... 11 and 9 when my father passed. It was summer time and I certainly could not amuse them during shiva, so dh took them home. I come from the south, remember.
As far as the children who were sent to school, yes, that's correct. | My son also went to school when my father died. They were very close, but we felt it was the right thing for him. I can't imagine a child who's coping with the death of a parent being able to do that. On the other hand, ever parent knows his or her children better than anyone else.
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chocolate moose
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Wed, May 07 2008, 3:47 pm
| chaylizi wrote: | | chocolate moose wrote: | we'v discused this before. it's really inappropraite. that said, sometimes it works out.
I suggst you do a search for the full story. |
is that the name of the thread? |
I don't remember the name
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amother
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Thu, May 08 2008, 3:08 am
OP here.
My baby is a few months old.
and 2 of my cousins who are sitting shivah actually have their babies there with them (at the shivah house)...
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Classicookie
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Thu, May 08 2008, 8:39 am
when my mother was sitting last summer I took my baby and stayed there for a couple of days I also went to pay a Shiva call to my great aunt and uncle and they wanted me to bring my baby with it really all depends on the situation
when my fater was nifter my little brothers stayed home
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shopaholic
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Thu, May 08 2008, 9:58 am
Unless it's your parents or in laws sitting shiva (& even then I don't know how great an idea it is), I think it's highly inappropriate to bring babies to a shiva house.
Also, what's wrong with sending the deceased's granchildren to school? They are not sitting shiva.
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flowerpower
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Thu, May 08 2008, 10:03 am
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how well behaved is he? will he cooperate when u are there?
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his_sweety
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Thu, May 08 2008, 10:04 am
I personally think it's not bad, especially if it's family.
I recently sat shiva, and it was a really really sad time, every time someone would come with a baby and the baby would giggle or smile, it made me feel so much better!
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