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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Is it tacky/wrong to ask whether I can bring my girls?
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amother


 

Post Thu, May 08 2008, 8:08 pm
my boss is making a fancy bas-mitzva at a hotel for her daughter. I was invited. my 2 girls (8 and 6) know the bas-mitzva girl and would like to attend the simcha. would it be wrong or tacky to ask my boss if I could bring my 2 girls?
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 08 2008, 8:09 pm
is he a generous man? what do u think he would do? is he rich?
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cassandra




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 08 2008, 8:09 pm
Yes.
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Mimisinger




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 08 2008, 8:10 pm
Prob. It's expensive to set two more settings. Did you get the invitation yet? Did it include them on the invitation? If not, no go.
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Clarissa




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 08 2008, 8:11 pm
Yes, it's tacky. If they're not on the invitation, they're not invited.
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chayitty




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 08 2008, 8:13 pm
I wouldnt do it...if their close enough they'll be on the invite if not then not.
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 08 2008, 8:16 pm
is it a day affair or evening ?
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freidasima




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 08 2008, 8:18 pm
tacky!
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chaylizi




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 08 2008, 8:19 pm
it is tacky- my mother invited a woman to my wedding & she replied that she and her daughter would be happy to come. we weren't sure ifshe thought we were counting by the couple or not- but we were very taken aback.
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 08 2008, 8:24 pm
a lot of neighbors I barely knew brought their kids to my wedding. they ruined the flower arrangements and ran around.

otoh, a friend called to find out if their kids were invited. I left them off the invite by mistake. I was glad they checked with me. you can ask if your daughters are included in the invite or not, rather than ask if they can come.
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Tehilla




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 08 2008, 8:29 pm
we had people ask if kids could come. I wasn't offended at all.
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yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 08 2008, 9:03 pm
You're just asking, not bringing and they're not babies and it's for a bas mitzvah, basically an elaborate 12 year olds b-day party. It doesn't hurt to ask.
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amother


 

Post Thu, May 08 2008, 9:08 pm
to answer choc moose, it is an evening event, called for 6:30 pm.
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cassandra




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 08 2008, 9:09 pm
If you ask you are putting him on the spot. It could be an extra $50-$100 pp. and he can't say no. That isn't right.

[/I]
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yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 08 2008, 9:17 pm
cassandra wrote:
If you ask you are putting him on the spot. It could be an extra $50-$100 pp. and he can't say no. That isn't right.

[/I]

He's the boss, of course he could say no! Wink
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chayitty




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 08 2008, 9:18 pm
I would say 150+ a chair...so no I dont think u should ask.
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amother


 

Post Thu, May 08 2008, 9:25 pm
hey sexists, I said my boss is a woman! Very Happy
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chaylizi




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 08 2008, 9:29 pm
Tehilla wrote:
we had people ask if kids could come. I wasn't offended at all.


it's one thing to ask. it is something completely different to assume.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 08 2008, 9:55 pm
I think it depends how you ask ... tell mrs boss Wink that the girls do not need a place setting - but would be thrilled to see the bas mitzva girl in her full glory ... especially since they know her as well ...
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cassandra




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 08 2008, 9:58 pm
amother wrote:
hey sexists, I said my boss is a woman! Very Happy


Mea culpa. I am ashamed.
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