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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
Rumpsringa?? If we had it would teens come back???
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cookielady




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 26 2008, 9:35 pm
Just something I wonder sometimes, when I have nothing else to think about.
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Clarissa




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 26 2008, 9:37 pm
I know a man who sort of did that. He took of his kipa, transferred for a year to a school in another state, and went out with a non-Jew, who wound up living with him for a couple of years. He later went back to Judaism and married a frum woman, the daughter of a rosh yeshiva.
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cassandra




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 26 2008, 9:38 pm
Clarissa wrote:
I know a man who sort of did that. He took of his kipa, transferred for a year to a school in another state, and went out with a non-Jew, who wound up living with him for a couple of years. He later went back to Judaism and married a frum woman, the daughter of a rosh yeshiva.


I know someone like this too, minus the rosh yeshiva part.
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Clarissa




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 26 2008, 9:40 pm
cassandra wrote:
Clarissa wrote:
I know a man who sort of did that. He took of his kipa, transferred for a year to a school in another state, and went out with a non-Jew, who wound up living with him for a couple of years. He later went back to Judaism and married a frum woman, the daughter of a rosh yeshiva.


I know someone like this too, minus the rosh yeshiva part.
Really? Small world. If it's the same guy, smaller world still.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 26 2008, 9:40 pm
what is rum springer ... drunks on jerry springer show ?!?!?!
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cassandra




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 26 2008, 9:45 pm
Clarissa wrote:
cassandra wrote:
Clarissa wrote:
I know a man who sort of did that. He took of his kipa, transferred for a year to a school in another state, and went out with a non-Jew, who wound up living with him for a couple of years. He later went back to Judaism and married a frum woman, the daughter of a rosh yeshiva.


I know someone like this too, minus the rosh yeshiva part.
Really? Small world. If it's the same guy, smaller world still.


Was his non-Jewish girlfriend's name Sue?
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 26 2008, 9:49 pm
we do that ... only they are called REBELS ... they mostly come back ... so they say ... What
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Clarissa




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 26 2008, 9:56 pm
cassandra wrote:
Was his non-Jewish girlfriend's name Sue?
No, but I just realized that it's impossible that we could be talking about the same man. My friend died about twenty years ago, and you're a young'un.
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Toot




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 26 2008, 9:59 pm
But back to the question -

Do you think that the year in Israel in yeshiva/seminary is at all similar to rumspringa? I have my own thoughts on the issue, but I'm curious to hear what others have to say.
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Mama Bear




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 26 2008, 10:30 pm
the difference between amish rumspringa and a frum kid going off the derech and returning is:

in amishville, if you decide not to come back youre SHUNNED. you have zero shaychus to your family and community. so, if you give an 18 year old the choice to live however he wants but he will never ever ever see or speak to his parents or siblings again, chances are that most of them will come back. they'll have their fill of television and bar hopping, and get sick of it. the idea of never being part of their community again is too much to bear.

that is, granted that the teenager in question had a happy family life. a disgruntled rebellious teenager wont come back.

the second difference is that a kid who goes off and comes back remains with a 'blemish' forever. in amishville rumspringa is permissible, allowed, part of their rituals. so if youre theoretically asking, if rumspringa were part of frum ritual, would people come back? well since they wont remain with a stain on their name forever, they probably will. otherwise, the shame and stigma might be a deterrent to coming back.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 26 2008, 10:37 pm
omg - don't you know about the people who act like they are mourning over their kids if they go off the derech ?!?!?! shock
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cassandra




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 26 2008, 11:19 pm
Clarissa wrote:
cassandra wrote:
Was his non-Jewish girlfriend's name Sue?
No, but I just realized that it's impossible that we could be talking about the same man. My friend died about twenty years ago, and you're a young'un.


Nope, he is your age, but thankfully he's still around...
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cassandra




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 26 2008, 11:19 pm
MorahS wrote:
But back to the question -

Do you think that the year in Israel in yeshiva/seminary is at all similar to rumspringa? I have my own thoughts on the issue, but I'm curious to hear what others have to say.


How can a year in a supervised religious environment be anything like Rumspringa?
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Clarissa




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 26 2008, 11:21 pm
cassandra wrote:
Clarissa wrote:
cassandra wrote:
Was his non-Jewish girlfriend's name Sue?
No, but I just realized that it's impossible that we could be talking about the same man. My friend died about twenty years ago, and you're a young'un.


Nope, he is your age, but thankfully he's still around...
Good to know, as I'm very, very old and am happy to hear about some of the old folks like me who are still going strong. Now where did I put my Ben Gay?
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cassandra




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 26 2008, 11:26 pm
You old people are sensitive.
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Mama Bear




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 26 2008, 11:29 pm
cassandra wrote:
MorahS wrote:
But back to the question -

Do you think that the year in Israel in yeshiva/seminary is at all similar to rumspringa? I have my own thoughts on the issue, but I'm curious to hear what others have to say.


How can a year in a supervised religious environment be anything like Rumspringa?
it's not quite as supervised as you think. the young boys and girls manage to get around and ahve fun, sometimes with dire consequences. it's their first time away from their parents' eyes...
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cassandra




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 26 2008, 11:31 pm
I've been to Israel for the year, and as unsupervised as some programs may be you are still there in the context of a religious program. Rumspringa is a community sanctioned period of experimentation.
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Toot




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 26 2008, 11:35 pm
You are still halfway around the world, away from your family and immediate community, exploring new ideas in a very intense way. Obviously the nature of what you do is (hopefully) different, but there are similarities.
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chavamom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 27 2008, 12:56 am
I went to nursing school with a guy who had been raised Amish but had "gone off" after his "rumspringa"...and married a nice Jewish girl. YIKES!
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mama-star




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 27 2008, 1:14 am
cookielady!!! you are on my wavelength!

I have a big interest in amish/mennonite people. I even have a book about them in my bathroom (believe me, it DEFINITELY belongs there).

the rumspringa thing is interesting, and it's a good question. it wouldn't work with frum people, because it is inherently against our way of life. it basically would be saying, "go off the derech for a year or two and let's see what happens." now truthfully, some people DO "frei out" and then come back, but I wouldn't recommend it as a regular lifestyle choice. for them, however, it's a part of their culture.

anyway, they don't have laws about yichud, shomer negiah, etc., so in general the boys and girls of that society have a LOT more latitude compared to frum kids/teenagers. people think that amish people are so chaste and pious, but there are many things they do which I find downright inappropriate for "godly people."
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