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Vent



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amother


 

Post Wed, May 28 2008, 9:41 pm
I dont know if this is the right section but anyway.. I need to vent.

ok, so I live in a place where it is very common for parents to send thier kids to school on the bus, have them dropped off with the bus and basically many times stay out of the schools buisness.

I am not like that and dont want to be like that. I take my daughter to school every day, pick her up every day, and want to know what goes on during her day.

I cant tell you how frustrated I am by my responses!

here are some:

"why dont you send your kid on the bus??" (shes three btw)

"If you wouldnt ask the teacher how her day was, you wouldnt have to be bothered by the way the teacher dealt with the issue that is bothering you"

or even worse "this is the real world. let your kid just go to school, dont worry what goes on, and she will be fine"

HELOO! this is my child. obviously I will be involved in what goes on in school!!

many of the teachers dont know how to dicipline positivly and are always punishing. punishing NEVER helps. Its doesnt teach kids how to act! only makes them feel that THEY are bad. Ill give u an example.

a child was sent to the office because she told another child she will slap him.

ok...... yes that is wrong but she is ANGRY. she needs to be TAUGHT how to deal with her anger in the right way! how exactly is punishing her going to teach her anything????? it wont! yes, she should be told, we do not speak that way. but she should ALSO be told, when u feel angry xyz is what you can and should do.... and why are u angry... whats bothering u... lets use words etc.... kids are not born knowing what to do! they have to be taught. and if mothers and teachers arent going to teach them that who will???

I work so hard with my kids and bh I know that iyh they will be ok. they are confident and happy and are home with me till three (I would never send them to a system that puts kids in corners for not sitting "nicely" starting at babies!!!! (and many other things...)

but im just so upset because I want to feel comfortable about my kids teachers! why cant the frum schools get a little more up to date with dicipline! we arent living 50 years ago in Russia.......

thanks for letting me vent......
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 28 2008, 10:18 pm
I take and pick up my dcs whenever I feel like it. So do many others. What do mothers that live near the school do? They take them back and forth. There is nothing wrong with that. You can be as much involved as you want with the teachers. They dont mind. I talk to the rebbe whenever I feel like it when I'm picking up the dcs.
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louche




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 28 2008, 10:35 pm
the folks who tell you those things just feel guilty and jealous that they're not doing what you're doing.
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amother


 

Post Wed, May 28 2008, 10:42 pm
Quote:
What do mothers that live near the school do? They take them back and forth. There is nothing wrong with that. You can be as much involved as you want with the teachers. They dont mind. I talk to the rebbe whenever I feel like it when I'm picking up the dcs.


no all the mothers (well most) live near the school so no they dont bring thier kids if they live close.

the teachers do mind, thats exaclty my point. u and I have had different experinces
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 28 2008, 10:46 pm
GAmzu lives far from the school and she takes and brings her ds every day to school. I feel bad that your dds teacher isn't cooperative. I went through a few rebbes and teachers and they were so warm and talkative.
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bigdeal




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 29 2008, 9:38 am
a mother- you are A GOOOOOD mother and nothing people will say should change the way you are raising your children. I agree with you about BUSSING A THREE YEAR OLD!!!! nebach!!!
Next year , Imyh I will drive my ( four year old) dd to school in teh morning- I still want her to be energized by the time she gets there. On the way home, Im bussing her ( not by choice- I work...)
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amother


 

Post Thu, May 29 2008, 10:54 am
thank u bigdeal!
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Mrs. XYZ




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 29 2008, 11:10 am
I definitely hear you and understand you OP. But I also understand that a teacher doesn't like to be interogated, and have to give a din v'cheshbon every day of what went on in the classroom and how she dealt with each little issue. No, a teacher shouldn't be harshly disciplining like that, and a parent should be involved, but not overbearingly involved.
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amother


 

Post Thu, May 29 2008, 11:18 am
OP: I would be every bit as upset as you are. I have no good advice since I don't have school age kids yet, but it sounds like everything you are thinking and doing is 100% right and I don't understand what is going on at that school. Are there maybe other school options? Or maybe a better teacher for the same grade at the same school and your child can change classes?
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amother


 

Post Thu, May 29 2008, 12:11 pm
maybe I am overbearing to the teacher but what I am doing is normal. the only reason why I think it might seem overbearing is because im one in a thousand here that does it.

anyways, the other school here isnt that much better but I am going to check it out!
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