Friend taking liberties

sunshine!

Tue, Jun 17 2008, 1:13 pm

How do I handle this situation? I have an informal book gemach where people come and borrow books. I am happy to lend them out and I usually get them back within the allotted time frame and in perfect condition. My problem is that a good friend of mine came to borrow books which I gave her happily. A different friend called me last night to tell me that she will come by to return a book that she took from friend A, not knowing that it was mine. SHe saw my name in it and that is why she knew it was mine. I have a rule that I don't allow lending further because I lose many books that way and cannot trace them. Now my friend called to ask if she can take more books. What do I tell her, without upsetting the harmony of our friendship?

BTW 2 sidenotes 1)this is not the first time this has happened and I did tell her not to lend further on numerous occasions. 2) the reason why I am upset now, is that the book came back to me in ruined condition. What do I do?

In the kitchen

Tue, Jun 17 2008, 1:30 pm

I can't even imagine! What chutzpah!
I hope others have some good advice for Sunshine...I really don't know what I would do either...is there any way to politley yet firmly ask her to replace missing or damamged books that she borrowed/took from you?

Pizza

Tue, Jun 17 2008, 2:26 pm

Maye you can tell her you are now requiring a deposit to cover damaged and missing books. And then if it doesnt come back, or is ruined, at least you are covered... and she is motivated (more than now, anyway) to be more responsible...

HindaRochel

Tue, Jun 17 2008, 2:26 pm

Establish a fine for books which are not:
1. Returned by the person who took them out. (or someone from their family)
2. Damaged
3. Not returned on time.

Twizzlers

Tue, Jun 17 2008, 2:41 pm

its sad that it has to come to this, but that is why most libraries (even the jewish ones) charge for overdue or late books. if your friend would have know she'd have to pay for a late or damaged book she probably would have been more careful.

greenfire

Fri, Jun 20 2008, 11:20 am

if she doesn't follow the library rules - she cannot take out books ... and if a book gets ruined people should pay for its replacement ... basic respect care & logic for property that is not hers ...

freidasima

Fri, Jun 20 2008, 11:46 am

Agreed about the fine, agreed about the replacement, agreed about the need for real rules. Don't be a patsy, you are doing a lovely thing with the gemach and it is not chessed to be used like you were...