Gifts for Teens | Imamother

RachelSteph

Sun, Jan 02 2005, 9:27 am

Actually we have had both of my cousins over for the past year and a half we've been inviting them the oldest boy doesn't care and has never taken us on our offer. But the two youngest have, they've liked it but it's also not fun when they miss their TV shows or cheerleading practice, or even Bowling. Plus we live quite far from them so the only time they can come over is when Shabbat comes in later since they finish school at 2:30 and after 3pm they live about 30 minutes away and that when the driving is good (Chomedey in Laval right out side of Montreal). Plus because they don't know how to daven they just sit and are miserable when they go to shul. I was also expecting my shul to give my cousin an Alia to open the Torah at the end of the services; they usually ask the kids to do it to get them involved, and they never asked my cousin to do it he was over at least 10 times. Granted most of those days were Bar Mitzvahs and they give their family priority. So it's a struggle but I guess if it's meant to be then Hashem will find a way. I can't always work on them anyhow, I also have my Niece (4yrs) who wants to learn hebrew but lives in St.Adolf de Howard which is about one hour out side of the city away from anyone who is Jewish. Going to a Jewish school is out of the question because of the distance, and so now the only thing that I can hope for is some nice Jewish family in St. Agath who is willing to teach Hebrew to a little girl. My niece even said she misses Shabbat, they only practice it when my Grandfather is in town right now he's in Israel. I've considered having her over but she is a handful so my husband is a little fearfull. I'm trying to undue the mistakes my family has made through out the years and I want Judiasm to be apart of their lives so when they get older they can make a choice as to what religion they want to keep. I want everything Jewish in their lives to be a possitive one. It's nice to see I'm not getting any trouble from my family on what I'm doing. Anyways G-D willing everything will work out for the better. Wink

ForeverYoung
Guest

Sun, Jan 02 2005, 11:31 am

can you keep them home from shul?

when we have guests who can't daven, my husband takes them for musaf only, so it's short + they get to communicate w/ other bt's after davening.
(but my husband davens very early, so he comes and picks them up before musaf in a bt yeshiva here, and he can explain to them what is going on, so they dont' feel so left out)

RachelSteph

Sun, Jan 02 2005, 11:59 pm

When we take them, we do explain what’s going on, but I’d like it if it came from someone around their age, so it doesn't seem like it's an “authority” or “parental” figure (teens tend to distrust authority, and they are no exception). I’ve always heard of these stories of people who become influenced by religious kids who are so full of spiritual power for the religion, and they can see that the religion doesn’t have to change their day-to-day activities like playing basketball, soccer or football etc. I’ve been trying to find religious kids closer to their age to give them positive re-enforcement on the religion. What helped me to stay with in my religion was partly that I only had Jewish friends even though I went to a public school. I also learned a lot in BBYO. I also saw how awful the marriages of my uncles who had married outside of the religion were and I didn’t want that for my family or me. Anyway, we will just have to see what will happen.