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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Shabbos meal $$



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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 20 2008, 11:24 am
so would you take monies from someone who wants to come and eat a shabbos meal ... let's call him a friend of a friend - not frum so doesn't want to go with this guy to yeshiva - but still wants "dinner" - (he is visiting for a few weeks from out of town) - I did it last time he was in town - he ended up enjoying "shabbos" because he didn't have to wear a suit & tie and pretend ... I don't really know the guy but again offering me monies for shabbos dinner ... What
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Lani22




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 20 2008, 11:28 am
I would not take money, but I would let him buy a few things for the meal.
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Chocoholic




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 20 2008, 11:35 am
Let him donate the money to a worthy tzedaka.. or say.. instead of money you can do me a favor: keep more shabosim...
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sunshine!




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 20 2008, 11:37 am
It would depend if it were more like a convenient arrangement for him as opposed to him being "invited company". If he were invited for Shabbos, that would include all amenities - but if he invited himself and you don't even know him, welcome him to "Hotel Greenfire" and send him a bill!
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Tamiri




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 20 2008, 11:43 am
Depending on my sitch, I would take the money and cook a great meal and enjoy it with my guest. Why not?
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yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 20 2008, 11:53 am
No, I wouldn't at all. I'd tell him, if he wants, bring a dessert or some nosh.
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Tamiri




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 20 2008, 11:55 am
But what if having the guest means Green would have to spend more than she wants? And he just wants a cooked meal and company?
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yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 20 2008, 12:04 pm
If a "guest" would give me money for the meal, it would be like I'm a restaurant and he's a customer. If that's how someone (the "hostess") would like to feel, go ahead, otherwise, no thank you.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 20 2008, 12:07 pm
I like that "hotel greenfire" - that is exactly what it is ... that's what it was last time as well - I never met him before he needed the food ... besides I'm a single mom struggling with my own money issues ...

but a part of me wonders if I'm blowing a mitzva by taking the money ...
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Lani22




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 20 2008, 12:10 pm
I think it would be fine to take the money. Making a shabbas meal is expensive and an additional guest def means additional costs. This person obviously really appreciates your hosting him otherwise he wouldnt offer the gift. I do not think you would be blowing the mitzva- you are cooking for him and giving him a lovely shabbas atmosphere. I am sure your guest would not want him coming to be a financial hardship for you.
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cindy324




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 20 2008, 6:21 pm
Just tell him to bring the booze Drunken Smile !
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Chocoholic




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 20 2008, 6:39 pm
It reminds me of the following story:

There is a man who has been notified that his house is going to be flooded and he needs to get out of the house. He says no I don’t have to, God is going to take care of me. Then the flood starts to rise and a sheriff comes along and tells him to get out. The man says no, God is going to save me. So, the floods continue to rise, and he climbs on top of the house. A boat comes along and he’s told to climb into the boat. He says, no, no , God is going to save me. Finally, a helicopter comes along and they lower the net to rescue him. The man says, no, no, God is going to save me! Well, the man drowns and goes to heaven. When he gets to heaven he says to God, "why didn’t you save me?" God says, "I sent the sheriff, I sent a boat, I sent a helicopter, what more did you want me to do?"
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Akeres Habayis




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jun 21 2008, 4:20 pm
so true chocoholic!
greenfire,if u feel comfortable take the money.as u said u are a single parent,its money to u,from Hashem and the guy is just the shliach.

we had a guest once he always wanted to show his appreciation for letting him come for every shabbos,I personally found it annoying that he felt he had to bring something but then I realized he was very uncomfortable showing up empty handed.
after we moved he told me how he really appreciated us accepting his gifts.it made his shabbos much nicer to be able to contribute.
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