Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Do you say hello and Good Shabbos or Yom Tov?
1  2  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

Clarissa




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 20 2008, 10:26 am
All of this talk about friendliness and unfriendliness, closed or open communities, etc. has me thinking. I know this is being discussed already, but I'm only posting this in a new thread because I want to disassociate myself from any thread that has been taking swipes at posters where this issue is concerned.

When you are out and about, do you say hi to people in general? To people who are obviously fellow observant Jews? To people who are similarly attired to you, whatever your particular group practices are?

Yesterday my husband, kids and I were out. We were very casually attired. At one point a man in a kipah walked by and said Good Shabbos to my husband, just because he, too, was wearing a kipah. I liked this. Do you guys do this? Do you respond when others greet you, even if their clothes or whatever say that they're not as observant as you, or not from the same group? Do you generally say hello to people when your eyes meet?

I've also noticed that more and more of my neighbors say hello or respond in a friendly way when I do. Then, yesterday, I was going out and saw a young guy at the elevator who clearly didn't want to say hi or be greeted in any way. I thought how much more pleasant it is when there is some semblance of friendliness. It's a big building so I don't know that many neighbors, but we do live in the same building, sometimes on the same floor, and I've gotten to like the smiling and greeting thing.

What's your feeling about this? Not doing a poll, because I find polls to imprecise in possible responses.


Last edited by Clarissa on Sun, Jul 20 2008, 1:06 pm; edited 2 times in total
Back to top

Pineapple




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 20 2008, 10:30 am
I always say good shabbos/yontif to anyone I see is Jewish
Back to top

Maya




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 20 2008, 10:31 am
I generally give a small smile to anyone who meets my eye, even if they're not Jewish.

I once spent Shabbos in Lakewood, and marveled at the way everyone said Good Shabbos in a loud voice with a big smile, to everyone else. You got a greeting from whoever you passed along the entire way. That was beautiful.
Back to top

Lady Godiva




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 20 2008, 10:33 am
Normally I don't greet strangers. If I'm on the elevator with somebody I'll smile if I catch their eye but I don't usually go out of my way to greet people in the street. On Sabbat, if people say something to me then I reply "Shabbat Shalom" but I guess I'm guilty of not going out of my way to be extra friendly to strangers.
I did notice out of town people greet me and ask how I'm doing. Of course I smile and greet them back but they're complete strangers! I found that interesting.
Back to top

sarahd




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 20 2008, 10:46 am
Definitely greet every visibly Jewish person I meet. Also, where I live there's the expectation that when you walk into an office building, say, or a doctor's waiting room, an elevator, that you give a general greeting to whoever's there.

When we're in the mountains, we greet everyone we see except the cows.
Back to top

cassandra




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 20 2008, 10:48 am
I am a big fan of the smile and nod.
Back to top

Lady Godiva




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 20 2008, 10:48 am
sarahd wrote:


When we're in the mountains, we greet everyone we see except the cows.

You see cows?? Country girl. LOL
Back to top

TziporahD




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 20 2008, 11:08 am
cassandra wrote:
I am a big fan of the smile and nod.


Me too.
Back to top

yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 20 2008, 11:25 am
If someone says it to me, I of course respond. I sometimes say it first, depends on the circumstance.

Last edited by yo'ma on Sun, Jul 20 2008, 3:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top

freidasima




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 20 2008, 11:35 am
Here in EY it's no problem, but I remember years ago when I was in London in the middle of the summer with Dh, we were walking up Whitehall to Trafalgar, it's a quite wide street, we were on one side, I was with a dress down to the floor and long sleeves (in those days I was thin enough for dresses, not just blouses and skirts) and a broad brimmed had over my sheitl, he was in a cap, and across the street was someone in chassidish clothes with his wife, walking in the other direction...as we passed by each other, my dh looked at him and he at dh and both nodded in a knowing way.

Good to see a Yid anywhere!
Back to top

Tefila




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 20 2008, 11:42 am
Quote:
but I'm only posting this in a new thread because I want to disassociate myself from any thread that has been taking swipes at posters where this issue is concerned.

Sorry it's too late 4 that Banging head
Didn't meant to hijack the seriousness of this thread but I did find it LOL
Back to top

mamacita




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 20 2008, 12:47 pm
If a person positively receives my smile and nod I follow it with a good shabbos.
Back to top

HooRYou




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 20 2008, 1:14 pm
I try to be the say hello or Gut Shabbos type. I feel this is especially important to do for people who don't look like they live in my area since I hope I am creating a positive image.

While we are on this topic I want to share a story about my Dad O"H. We sat shiva in my Mom's apartment and notices had been put up in the building. One night a man no one knew came. He said my father had said good morning to him evry day and that it really started his morning off brightly and that he would really miss my dad.

I am no where near the greeter my father was but I do understand why I get so upset at the people who find ti beneath themseves to say hello or smile back.
Back to top

ClaRivka




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 20 2008, 2:30 pm
I find it quite awkward to even look at a person who I don't know.

I grew up in a place where EVERYONE said good shabbos. as I got older and became more aware of what tznius was I tried to cross the street or just look down. But it's very hard bc I DO NOT SPEAK TO MEN. (unless the situation calls for it.)

So when I was in EY I got used to everyone not saying good shabbos to everyone. And I started to not even expect it.

It's funny how when I was just in BP 3 weeks ago a girl passed me in the street and said good shabbos. I looked at her as she passed by and was in shock. I whispered to my husband, "she must be an out of towner!" O the irony....

so basically, if im with my husband I ignore women, or if the woman is with a man then I let my husband say good shabbos to the man and im just quiet, or if im alone I just wait til the other person says something and then say good shaabbos.

It' complicated........
Back to top

Toot




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 20 2008, 2:42 pm
HooRYou wrote:
I try to be the say hello or Gut Shabbos type. I feel this is especially important to do for people who don't look like they live in my area since I hope I am creating a positive image.

While we are on this topic I want to share a story about my Dad O"H. We sat shiva in my Mom's apartment and notices had been put up in the building. One night a man no one knew came. He said my father had said good morning to him evry day and that it really started his morning off brightly and that he would really miss my dad.

I am no where near the greeter my father was but I do understand why I get so upset at the people who find ti beneath themseves to say hello or smile back.


That is such a beautiful and inspiring story, and I am sure you make the people who don't live in your area feel just as welcome as your father made this man feel.

I always want to be friendly and greet, and I always kick myself afterwards if I don't. On Shabbos my husband and I always say good shabbos to anyone we see, and if I'm out and about and see someone else dressed like me, we usually make eye contact and nod or give a slight smile. I think it's one of the greatest parts in dressing a way that is distinct from everyone else around you, and I like to take advantage of it.
Back to top

Dayzmom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 20 2008, 3:00 pm
Well, um, er, I usually don't go out on Shabbos embarrassed but when I do I always acknowledge a passerby, either by a smile or verbally. During the week I'm pretty social too. It's kinda hard to say "Hello" to everyone on the street on Kingston Avenue, but a smile goes a long way and pretending someone doesn't exists goes even longer.
Back to top

dora




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 20 2008, 4:09 pm
I live in a friendly area, almost everyone will say good shabbos to one another, although when I'm alone I will only say so to a man if he greeted me first.
Back to top

someoneoutthere




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 20 2008, 6:52 pm
always say good shabbos, always get the she's an out-of-towner' look.
I am, and I'm proud of it!
Back to top

newatit




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 20 2008, 8:29 pm
my Hubby and I have a long walk to and from Shul and on the way we pass a few other Shul, we pass a number of ppl on their way to Shul. Hubby goes out of his way to wish them a good Shabbos, often saying it loud enough that those across the street can hear. I used to be embarrassed by this but ive recently relized that its just part of his huge love for Am Yisrael. so if we meet you on the way to Shul....
Back to top

marina




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 20 2008, 11:29 pm
I growl. In a friendly manner, so to speak. Sometimes I might wag my tail, just to confuse them
Back to top
Page 1 of 2 1  2  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Home every Shabbos. Practical tips please? How does it work?
by amother
11 Today at 8:03 pm View last post
Last minute opportunity for a Shabbos getaway
by amother
6 Today at 5:50 pm View last post
What's the latest you would go away for Shabbos if invited
by amother
15 Today at 2:08 pm View last post
Online links for Girls Yom Tov dresses
by amother
1 Today at 12:55 pm View last post
Shabbos pants for elementary boys
by amother
11 Today at 7:30 am View last post