Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Interesting Discussions
What could you accept in terms of "taking"
Previous  1  2



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h



What could you take without a problem
Used clothing  
 72%  [ 8 ]
WIC, Housing assistance, Medicare  
 27%  [ 3 ]
Total Votes : 11



Starhavah




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 21 2008, 11:48 am
I did not vote, but I would accept anything I legally qualified for. I accept used clothes from people and wear them myself and dd wears them.

I think it is only inappropriate if you are cheating the system. For example, If you work for 3 months so you can collect unemployment and then ask them to lay you off so you can collect for a year and a half and do this repeatedly. I had an aunt who used to do this. She went my entire growing up life working in 3 month stretches. If she was really looking for a job and wanted to stay ok, that is one thing, but she wasn't.

I had an uncle (other side of the family) who would rent fancy beautiful houses to live in. Within the first year he would stop paying rent because at the time it would take a year and a half to evict him for non-payment of rent. He was a sleeze (in my opinion). After the third time he had done this and my mom was gushing over the "wonderful, fancy" house he was renting I started referring to them as stolen houses. Twisted Evil She said, no he really could not afford the rent. I said once, twice you might rent a house beyond your means before you wake up to reality of what you can afford, but after that people should assume that you have no intention of paying the rent.

But everyone in my family knows I call 'em as I see 'em.

Star Havah
Back to top

Motek




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 22 2008, 9:41 am
HooRYou wrote:
IF you take when you really need are you a taker?


You are defining a 'taker' as someone who takes when she doesn't need but if someone takes when they need to (like a beggar on the street for example) then she is not a taker? Scratching Head
Back to top

Starhavah




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 22 2008, 11:09 am
Starhavah wrote:
This is an interesting thread. A similar question came up recently in shul. <snip> One of the congregants asked the Rav if it is really tzedakah to give money to someone who is a full-time learner and wants money to throw a wedding for his daughter. The reasoning that it might not be tzedakah is that the family is not doing their hishtadlut because the father is a full-time learner and the mother is home raising children. Now the asker of this question is FFB but very modern. Both she and her husband work (although she works very part-time). They have one child who is in kindergarten, but I am sure that they are planning on limiting their family size (although perhaps not to one).


I have been worried about this post for 2 days. I wanted to make sure people understand that I do not feel this way. I am just raising the question and I would be interested in how people (especially those whose husbands and sons (or sils) are full time learners. To me it seems as if this is the modern example of a Issachar-Zevulin relationship. I think one of the important questions is how to we prevent Zevulin from feeling taken advantage of? I am sure there are other important issues for the "Issachar"s in the community as well.

Star Havah
Back to top

mumoo




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 22 2008, 12:16 pm
I would have posted anonymously, but there was no option. This is pretty personal, but not shameful:

Dh and I have worked since we were 14 years old. We've never eluded the IRS and we give tzedaka al pi halacha. I've mentioned here that I run a children's gemach in my "spare time," and dh volunteers for the chevra kadisha and has created/runs 3 children's learning programs in "his."

Two years ago dh was laid off from his job. In that time he has been working furiously to start his own company. We live off my kollel salary and the rachmanus of Hashem but we've gone through over half our retirement savings (from years of work).

We applied for food stamps and medicaid, but we did not qualify because we still have some retirement money and my children have each a small bank account of bar mitzvah/bday money that I won't touch. We don't eat out, buy new toys or clothes, or take vacations that aren't at friends houses.

I know how the chesed thing works- you need two people to make it work; I give and I also receive. We struggle. Dh has all but given up his dream of his own company and has started applying for jobs. In the meantime, I'll take whatever is offered clothes, furniture, food- whatever. I am uncomfortable about taking money, however, from anyone other than our parents.
Back to top

Lady Godiva




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 22 2008, 12:21 pm
Mummoo, may God repay you and your husband for your selfless work for gemach and the chevra kadisha.
Back to top

mumoo




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 22 2008, 12:27 pm
thanks, Lady. Actually He has. Baruch Hashem, we are all healthy and have a house, good friends and loving relatives and we meet nice people like you who give us brochos.
Back to top

Lady Godiva




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 22 2008, 12:28 pm
Smile
Back to top

Crayon210




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 22 2008, 4:54 pm
Tamiri wrote:
What people take because they can't feed their families (WIC)


This is not what WIC is. That's called foodstamps.

WIC is just a program to encourage good nutrition that gives its recipients free cheese, milk, eggs, tuna, etc.

If you can't feed your family, a gallon of milk, a dozen eggs, and a pound of cheese are not going to cut it.
Back to top

ChossidMom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 22 2008, 5:01 pm
Lady Godiva wrote:
Mummoo, may God repay you and your husband for your selfless work for gemach and the chevra kadisha.


DITTO!!!! And thanks for sharing so openly. It's appreciated.
Back to top

Tamiri




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 22 2008, 5:30 pm
mumoo wrote:
I would have posted anonymously, but there was no option. This is pretty personal, but not shameful:

Dh and I have worked since we were 14 years old. We've never eluded the IRS and we give tzedaka al pi halacha. I've mentioned here that I run a children's gemach in my "spare time," and dh volunteers for the chevra kadisha and has created/runs 3 children's learning programs in "his."

Two years ago dh was laid off from his job. In that time he has been working furiously to start his own company. We live off my kollel salary and the rachmanus of Hashem but we've gone through over half our retirement savings (from years of work).

We applied for food stamps and medicaid, but we did not qualify because we still have some retirement money and my children have each a small bank account of bar mitzvah/bday money that I won't touch. We don't eat out, buy new toys or clothes, or take vacations that aren't at friends houses.

I know how the chesed thing works- you need two people to make it work; I give and I also receive. We struggle. Dh has all but given up his dream of his own company and has started applying for jobs. In the meantime, I'll take whatever is offered clothes, furniture, food- whatever. I am uncomfortable about taking money, however, from anyone other than our parents.


I would happily share with you and hope it's mutual. You don't have to be out of a job or anything else to want to save. It's no mitzva to spend more!
Back to top

mumoo




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 22 2008, 6:29 pm
Chossidmom, Tamiri and LadyGodiva-
what can I say, I am overwhelmed embarrassed with the good feelings you're sending me, thanks Flower
Back to top
Page 2 of 2 Previous  1  2 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Interesting Discussions

Related Topics Replies Last Post
What knapsacks are "in" for upcoming 9th grade?
by amother
3 Today at 5:33 pm View last post
"Affordable" clothing for an adult
by amother
3 Today at 3:50 pm View last post
Where to get 44"/48" mattresses/platform beds 1 Yesterday at 10:33 am View last post
Does anybody use "the pink stuff"?
by tweety1
11 Mon, Mar 25 2024, 2:47 pm View last post
"Tipping" teachers
by amother
6 Thu, Mar 21 2024, 3:27 pm View last post