is my future fixed or fluid?

imokay

Wed, Aug 06 2008, 6:00 pm

I have a bit of a complicated question on life and destiny- it’s a bit hard to express, but I was wondering about it, so I’ll try to make myself clear. It’s a little lengthy, but I hope the more philosophical of u will have the patience to bear with me.

Is your future predetermined, that is, what’s going to happen will happen no matter what and your decisions and choices don’t affect this predetermination, or is it, depending on your actions then dif. things will occur, meaning if you choose “a” then something else will happen?

I was just thinking that if my decisions were what affected my life then one wouldn’t need to feel guilty about past decisions gone wrong or regrets- b/c it’s like she built the present with all the little actions she did- but had she chosen differently, she wud have a dif present. Meaning, u wudn’t say, had I known what was going to be, I shud have chosen “b”- b/c had u chosen that then what’s going on now, actually wudn’t be going on now as dif. choices give birth to dif. circumstances.

So I think my question summed up is do my decisions and choices directly change my future- making my future fluid and able to change and how I choose that’s how I will experience it? (and thus minimizing regret)
Or is my future predetermined and based on my choices that’s how I will experience my already fixed future? (opportunity for regret as if the present is already predetermined, a wiser choice wud have made my life easier)

Examples to clarify:
-Like, let’s say I get stuck in traffic b/c I chose to go on the bridge, and I’m late for my appointment and I kvetch, etc. And then I find out the tunnel collapsed. So, do I say, ok the tunnel was going to collapse regardless, and b”h I chose a dif route (life is predetermined, had I chosen dif. I def. wud have had regret) or is it possible that had I took the tunnel that day nothing wud have happened that day. (my choices affect what happens)
-Or to a lesser degree, if I turn down a job opportunity and then regret it immensely and am miserable and then another, better offer came along, do I say b”h the other thing didn’t work out, (b/c it was predetermined I’d have this new better job- and had I accepted it then I wud have regretted it b/c something better came along) or can I say well had I taken the first job it’s possible that I wouldn’t have gotten another offer after all- (b/c my actions and choices changed the course of my life.)
-Or, let's say I have twins. So, was I always predestined to have twins (predetermined and I cud have regret b.c I shud have married the guy with a better income or not moved from my bigger apt) or because I chose my dh to marry as opposed to another guy and move to this and this location, so that’s what caused this event to happen? (my actions affect my present)

(Either way, there’s emunah and bitachon involved and u see yad hashem. I’m not debating that. )

cassandra

Wed, Aug 06 2008, 6:16 pm

I'm not sure I get your question exactly, but I do believe that life is a kind of "Choose your own Adventure" (remember those book?). Because G-d is G-d, there is are all these possibilities of what can happen should you choose A, B, C, or D, and then from there 1, 2 or 3, etc, etc, and G-d can forsee all of them, He may even be able to forsee which one you will choose (controversial) but ultimately it is up to you to choose and choosing A over B could yield different results.

I also don't believe it makes any sense to dwell in the past and regret decisions as the present we are in is perfect, as it is exactly where G-d wants us to be, since He set out all of the possibilities and the way the world operates is perfect. You could want to do something differently in the future, and that is good, but it won't always yield the desired results. Basically we have to use our intellect to try and make the best decisions, but be content with where we are in the present (to make the most of the situation), even if we are striving for better in the future. Does that make any sense?

imokay

Thu, Aug 07 2008, 9:23 am

cassandra, it does makes sense. I was just thinking about it, bc I was regretting not going for a certain degree back in college and given my lifestyle now and the amount of kids I have, wud have seemed like the better choice. but then I thought, perhaps had I chosen that career path, I wudnt be where I am today with this particular lifestyle and this amount of kids- bc my decisions wud affect my future. and thinking like that makes me feel better- bc then theres no point in regret- it can't exist. and that wud make me a whole lot happier....