has Imamother influenced your halachic choices?

seeker

Sun, Aug 02 2015, 9:08 pm

amother wrote:

Quote:

I've stopped asking for BC heter.

That's the last reaction I expected to see. Possibly Apricot is responding tongue in cheek. Or could tell us how imamother could possibly have had this effect.

Why? Every time someone posts about a BC issue involving a rav (e.g. "help! I don't feel ready for a baby but my rav said no more BC!" or "I am having such a hard time coping but am embarrassed to explain it to my rav" or "What do I need to say to get my rav to give me a heter for BC?") there are always replies saying "Why is your rav deciding these things for you? Is he planning to carry/raise/pay for these children he thinks you should have? This is a personal decision." etc etc. So it makes perfect sense to me that someone may have been influenced by this website to take BC into their own hands and stop asking for heteirim. Not going to get involved in whether or not this is a good thing, just explaining why it is totally not surprising to me.

amother

Red

Sun, Aug 02 2015, 9:09 pm

I was taught the highest standards (like, chumros beyond) and seeing the viewpoints of others on this site, especially modern orthodox, unfortunately made me lose sensitivity... On topics like family planning, different positions, hair covering etc. I do feel bad about that and my kallah teacher warned me against going on forums during early marriage so I don't have what to compare to in other people's marriages. But I had a really pressing issue that I wanted to discuss anonymously and it helped me, and now I keep going on bc it's interesting. But not going to lie, things have definitely crept up on me and I wish they hadn't. Although I know halachically things are more lenient, I know that I should be holding higher standards.

amother

Salmon

Mon, Aug 03 2015, 5:54 pm

seeker wrote:

Oh, my bad. I thought Apricot meant she stopped asking & just kept on procreating, as opposed to stopped asking & made her own decision.

Dunno why I would make such an assumption.... live and learn.

Maya

Mon, Aug 03 2015, 6:05 pm

amother wrote:

This 'losing sensitivity is exactly what the Rabbonim are referring to: the dangers of internet.

If your chumrahs can't hold up to scrutiny and discussion by a bunch of women, how strong were they in the first place? Perhaps the rabbonim are afraid of the Internet because they know this, too.

amother

Ivory

Mon, Aug 03 2015, 8:10 pm

Maya wrote:

If your chumrahs can't hold up to scrutiny and discussion by a bunch of women, how strong were they in the first place? Perhaps the rabbonim are afraid of the Internet because they know this, too.

Not necessarily. How do you know which Chumrahs she is referring to?
I think you are automatically projecting your own experiences ...

P.S. I'm not the nasty amother that always responds to your posts....you happen to be one of my favorite posters... Smile

boymom

Mon, Aug 03 2015, 10:40 pm

Maya wrote:

If your chumrahs can't hold up to scrutiny and discussion by a bunch of women, how strong were they in the first place? Perhaps the rabbonim are afraid of the Internet because they know this, too.

I think you partially answered your own question. if someone is for whatever reason not strong in their hashkafa, chumros or even keeping basic mitzvos, they can definitely be desensitized on a website like this.
and even if someone is strong in their hashkafos, chumros and mitzvos, just by reading some things here over and over again, its just part of human nature to become desensitized. yup. you see things many times over and you just get used to it. its with anything in life, not only yiddishkeit.

amother

Red

Tue, Aug 04 2015, 12:25 am

Maya wrote:

If your chumrahs can't hold up to scrutiny and discussion by a bunch of women, how strong were they in the first place? Perhaps the rabbonim are afraid of the Internet because they know this, too.

I'm married less than a year. Ofc they're not that strong.
Also I am lubavitch and we are stricter in everything than anyone else. So like boymom said, just a matter of getting desensitized in general in life.
And no rabbanim forbade the Internet to me. Just my teacher practically suggesting that it may be harmful in early marriage to get a window into everyone else's, and to see what other people who are not as strict are me are doing - for this reason so as not to lose sensitivity.

amother

Gray

Tue, Aug 04 2015, 11:21 am

Maya wrote:

If your chumrahs can't hold up to scrutiny and discussion by a bunch of women, how strong were they in the first place? Perhaps the rabbonim are afraid of the Internet because they know this, too.

This post would have made more sense in response to sapphire, not to me.

Generalizing like that is against imamother rules. Contrary to what your posts seem to portray, Rabbonim are bright and are on the lookout for our spiritual good. They know about becoming desensitized just by being exposed to bashing of your own chumros on a consistent basis, as other posters upthread have pointed out. Many posters here on imamother are a 'bunch of women' that are just looking to bash others chumros and are not looking for discussion with the end goal being understanding and acceptance of others chumros.