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When to send food, when not to...



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amother


 

Post Fri, Aug 22 2008, 7:01 am
My friend was telling me last night that she never heard of baking for a vort that you're invited to. She says the family takes care of it. I was surprised because I always bring over a plate of baked goodies when I'm invited to a simcha. It made me wonder, which simchas do you send food to, and which do you not? I mean of course you wouldn't send for a chasuna, but are there any others? And should I feel embarassed that I sent over food to the vort?
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Ima'la




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 22 2008, 7:24 am
First of all, I don't think you ever need to be embarrassed for having sent food.

I send food if the affair is not catered. If it is catered, I don't. I would think certain simchas, like a vort, could go either way, depending how big and fancy they make it.
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amother


 

Post Sat, Aug 23 2008, 11:19 pm
Thanks for your response Imala! But how do you know if it will be catered or not, unless you're very good friends with the baalei simcha?
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Lady Godiva




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 23 2008, 11:24 pm
I only send to close family and friends and I always ask first if they want anything specific made. Sometimes they tell me that it's a catered affair and other times they gladly accept the offer.
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ny_ima




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 23 2008, 11:35 pm
my freind sent me tiny baked patisseries, although I had party planner, I thot it was very thoughtful and I appreciated her many hours of baking for my simcha. she did notify me first, and delivered it to the hall for planner to display along with the catered sweets.
if I wouldnt want it on the tables, I would tell her that I would love to have it delivered to my home instead for the guests, and thank her profusely. its very touching when someone goes out of way to bake for you, but really matters if they r clean and neat persons (not those mishloach manos sliced cake plates I trash)
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Ima'la




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 24 2008, 2:09 pm
amother wrote:
Thanks for your response Imala! But how do you know if it will be catered or not, unless you're very good friends with the baalei simcha?


Well, in my community, I can usually guess based on the type of simcha and where it is being held. I've never heard of a shalom zachar being catered around here. A kiddush usually is not catered if it's held at home, but if it's held in a shul, it often is. I guess you have to guess based on what's done.

But I don't think you ever have to be embarrassed if you sent a plate of something nice - it shows you were thinking of them and cared enough to go to some trouble for them.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 24 2008, 2:30 pm
also different communities or shuls have a couple of rules about homemade stuff ... so limit it to a friends home ... and make sure nobody eats them while setting up or sneaks some into their private stash ... somebody told me her sister did this ... Nervous
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