vent-I hate school plays b/c of the parents

yo'ma

Wed, Sep 10 2008, 1:44 pm

I wasn't sure if I should put this by chinuch, parenting our children, or emotional health, so here it is.

My ds9yo had a play this morning. I was standing in the back, after the last row, so I could see and won't be in anyones way. What happens? A woman a few rows ahead stood up Exploding anger

. No one was standing in front of her. The play was performed by a few classes and since her child wasn't in the same class as mine and wasn't on the stage at the same time, I didn't say anything. Then when my son went up, a man, right in front of me stood up. Exploding anger

No one was standing in front of him.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? Why can't people be considerate for the people standing or sitting behind them?

When I asked them to sit down when they were blocking me, they looked at me like I was the obnoxious one. I could have moved to the side to see better, but why do I have to move when they should be sitting?! Also, if I move to the side, I'd be blocking people behind me.

When I lived in NY and my son had a play and the people in the front were standing, (it might have been the second row) I told them to SIT!!!!! My mother was shocked because I usually wouldn't do things like that, but come on!!!

ShakleeMom

Wed, Sep 10 2008, 2:07 pm

I make sure to arrive 20 minutes before it’s scheduled to start. Plays are usually 20 minutes long, that gives me a full hour and that’s all. I like to sit up front where I don’t have to eat myself up. People are awful, and when you say something, they make you feel awful instead!

mumoo

Thu, Sep 11 2008, 11:20 pm

by our school it was horrible. not enough chairs, mothers talking the whole time (this was the big production of the year, btw) people standing up the whole time to video and kids walking around or sitting in the aisles.

I think it was the over-capacity crowd that the paramedics couldn't get through that made the school finally change the venue to a local high school with built in seats that dont bang your knees as the kids scoot back, and ushers to do the dirty work.

I would bring my mother and mother-in-law (she isn't frum) and was embarrassed the whole time

costanza

Sun, Sep 14 2008, 12:56 pm

How long have your kids been in school that there is already a play?

When my kids have one it generally is in May, because they need a solid 6 weeks after Pesach to do nothing but practise for that dopey play. Then I have to sit through 45 minutes of speeches and painful performances before my angel gets to say his/her 6 word part. I sit in the back with the other parents with bad attitudes and we generally laugh at the parents who come 2 hours early to sit in the front row (the same parents get those first row seats year after year - it's completely predictable).

Raisin

Sun, Sep 14 2008, 1:25 pm

costanza wrote:

You, know, if you and your friends behave like 10 year olds (and rude 10 year olds at that) it's one thing. But to boast about it on a website?

Wow.

Raisin

Mon, Sep 15 2008, 5:51 am

I've also seen the same plays performed. so what? The plays are not put on for my personal enjoyment, but to benefit my child. And if parents want to come early to enjoy their childs performance,let them.

I just think laughing at other people behind their back is shocking behaviour.

You know, I often think cynical thoughts in my head. I try not to express them, and would not be proud of myself if I did.

Anyway, lots of nachs from your kids...it should be your worst problem.

costanza

Mon, Sep 15 2008, 8:28 am

I totally see your point of view. Don't get me wrong - I'm not an obnoxious person. I just chuckle to myself or a friend beside me that it's funny how the same parents get the front row (for 10 years straight).

Not to be argumentative, but I really don't think these shows are for the benefit of the children. I think they are davka for the "enjoyment" of the parents. I get annoyed when I know that my child is spending valuable time day in and day out singing the same songs and rehearsing the same lines when they could be learning so much more.

We can end the discussion, but I just wanted to clear that up.

greentiger

Mon, Sep 15 2008, 8:35 am

costanza wrote:

Isn't it beautiful how after 10 years straight and seeing the same play over and over again, parents still care enough about their childrens performance to take off from their valuable time to get front row seats? Even if it is "just to see them say 6 lines" 2 hours in?

I think its something to be admired.

ValleyMom

Sun, Nov 09 2008, 9:56 pm

Well people, I am THE teacher that puts on the show so all you parents can get a little joy from seeing your darling prodigies on a stage. The only difference is when our show is done everyone is happy. I take photos of every single child in full costume and project the photos onto a wall as a slide show on a loop while the parents are finding seats. (This helps to alleviate any sarcastic loudmouth bullying moms poking fun at the younger moms who attend the show with excitement) All the children stand in a row so every child is seen by all parents at all times. There are always at least 3 chairs per child in the group so there is plenty of extra seating. I have NO solos, no special lines etc. We ALL sing, we ALL dance, we ALL say the lines. There are NO superstars. In my room everyone is a member of the group and we are all equal--The children make their own costumes. My students feel like we are one big happy family. In fact I get called Eema and mommy quite often by mistake. My students are happy and comfortable when they are in the show. I NEVER put them on stage. We always reserve a lunchroom. The stage can be overwhelming for some of the kids. I want everyone to be relaxed, happy and comfortable. We teachers do not get paid overtime for putting on a show. We do it for the children. It is very important teachable moment. My parents look forward to the show. Everyone is give SIX WEEKS notice to make arrangements with work AND... The show takes place one hour before dismissal so after the show and party eveyrone goes home HAPPY.

bubby

Sun, Nov 23 2008, 12:49 am

I love to see my grandchildren "act" in the same plays their parents did! It's cute & I get really mad at the rude moms who block my view. But I actually am very polite when I ask them to move.

I think it's an insult to the teachers, kids, & other guests when a play is delayed 20 mins for a late mommy. The child who's mother is late is devastated, he/she gets the others antsy, there's crying & fluffed lines & songs & generally, it's a disaster.

Mommies should be on time. How can you hurt your kids like this? It means so much to them. Aren't you proud? Costanza, I hope you're joking, because your little one wants your undivided attention. They remember everything!

costanza

Sun, Nov 23 2008, 9:43 am

I guess I can't win here.

I will try to explain one more time:

I love my children.
I respect their teachers and am grateful for the job they do.
I understand preparing for the plays takes time, patience and creativity.

But...I pay $12,000 per child per year. I, personally, would much rather have my kids learning new material, challenging material, doing an art project (or a host of other things) rather than spend weeks (literally weeks) practising the same songs and lines for a 10 minute play. I know they are cute up there on the stage, but I would rather they learn more. That's just me.

And if other parents out there don't take notice of the Type A parents in their kids' schools who are always the first ones in the parking lot at pick up time, and the first to sit in the front row for every show and the ones who organize and chair every conceivable committee in the school, then you are just not paying attention. They are out there - and they're good for a laugh or two.

bubby

Sun, Nov 23 2008, 1:12 pm

Costanza, this IS part of learning. The kids learn to take direction & work cooperatively...if 1 kid messes up, it affects everyone. And it's fun. What's wrong with that??? These are kids, for crying out loud. Some really shy, introverted kids can find their niche in a play or performance and they get a chance to shine. There are plenty of years ahead for them to slave over books & work hard. Let them have a good time & as a parent, you should be proud of them & shep nachas. Believe me, your kids know how contemptuous you are of the whole thing, & that showing up is a tircha. How do you think they feel?

costanza

Sun, Nov 23 2008, 2:49 pm

Really Bubby, to imply that I do not shep nachas from my kids? That's pretty rude.

I really don't want to belabor this point, but I can just as easily argue that there are kids who hate performing and don't think it's fun. Learning to take direction? That's the sum total of a kid's life in school. And not every shy and introverted kid comes out of his shell at age 5 by singing Yerushalayim Shel Zahav with 30 other 5 year olds.

I'm sure you'll just think I'm a worse mother than you already think I am for posting this, but I think I have a valid point of view (and a sense of humor which some here are seriously lacking).