chareidi phone ettiquette

amother

Sun, Sep 21 2008, 3:50 pm

RIIIIIIIIING
"Hello, this is ___. Is ____ there?"

I'm never sure how to fill in the blank.
If a man answers the phone, do I say this is Sara? Sarah Cohen? (Don't say Mrs, because its not done here)
If I need to speak to the man, do I say Dovid? Dovid Levi?
I'm never quite sure.
When you have to refer to a man by a name, do you say first name? First and last? Whats most appropriate?

What do you do if some chareidi man you know calls up to speak to you and calls you "Sarah"? First name only and you feel a little uncomfortable? Do you say "Please dont call me that?"
I find I try to avoid saying names as much as possible because I'm never quite sure what to say...

amother

Sun, Sep 21 2008, 4:07 pm

I say my first and last name. I never feel uncomfortable enough if a man uses my first name where I would tell him not to call me that. I think he probably feels awkward about it just like you do and doesn't know what is proper. I would leave it alone.

mamacita

Sun, Sep 21 2008, 4:08 pm

Ok, even though you said not to say it, here in chareidi-vill it's either Mr. & Mrs. or Rabbi & Rebbitzen. Smile

That's to ask for someone of the opposite gender. To introduce myself I'd probably say Ploni Baloney and then the husband would say something like Mrs. Baloney on the phone.

Seraph

Sun, Sep 21 2008, 4:14 pm

mamacita wrote:

Ok, even though you said not to say it, here in chareidi-vill it's either Mr. & Mrs. or Rabbi & Rebbitzen. Smile

That's to ask for someone of the opposite gender. To introduce myself I'd probably say Ploni Baloney and then the husband would say something like Mrs. Baloney on the phone.

The reason I said not to say mr or mrs is there isnt an equivalent in hebrew...

mamacita

Sun, Sep 21 2008, 4:18 pm

Seraph wrote:

mamacita wrote:

Ok, even though you said not to say it, here in chareidi-vill it's either Mr. & Mrs. or Rabbi & Rebbitzen. Smile

That's to ask for someone of the opposite gender. To introduce myself I'd probably say Ploni Baloney and then the husband would say something like Mrs. Baloney on the phone.

The reason I said not to say mr or mrs is there isnt an equivalent in hebrew...

Then def Rabbi or Rebbitzen. Most of dh's friends call me rebbitzen and some of his rabbi's do too.

Seraph

Sun, Sep 21 2008, 4:20 pm

mamacita wrote:

Seraph wrote:

mamacita wrote:

Ok, even though you said not to say it, here in chareidi-vill it's either Mr. & Mrs. or Rabbi & Rebbitzen. Smile

That's to ask for someone of the opposite gender. To introduce myself I'd probably say Ploni Baloney and then the husband would say something like Mrs. Baloney on the phone.

The reason I said not to say mr or mrs is there isnt an equivalent in hebrew...

Then def Rabbi or Rebbitzen. Most of dh's friends call me rebbitzen and some of his rabbi's do too.

rebetzin or rabbi even if the person isnt someone with smicha or even a kollel guy? I dunno, I'd feel funny being called rebetzin, and I'm sure my husband would feel funny being called rav.

mamacita

Sun, Sep 21 2008, 4:25 pm

It's an issue of polite detachment. I wish we were that chashuv that people would feel to the need to do it out of kavod Smile

red sea

Sun, Sep 21 2008, 4:40 pm

Seraph wrote:

The reason I said not to say mr or mrs is there isnt an equivalent in hebrew...

then what does giveret mean? I have heard pple using that - I thought it sounded in place of mrs.

StrongIma

Mon, Sep 22 2008, 2:40 am

amother wrote:

RIIIIIIIIING
"Hello, this is ___. Is ____ there?"

I'm never sure how to fill in the blank.

I think you're problem is that you're being too American to begin with. Israelis don't introduce themselves when they call, they just ask for "blank", and since 9 times out of 10 its a kid that answers the phone anyhow, I just ask for Abba; if it's the wife, for the baal habayit.

(OK, sometimes I do introduce myself by my last name - take it or leave it.)

Tamiri

Mon, Sep 22 2008, 2:43 am

If the person isn't a Rabbi, you can ask for Adon Cohen or Reb Cohen. For a woman, Giveret Cohen is fine.
However, if you are speaking with Israelis they are going think you are insane if you don't ask for them by their first name.
Only in recent years have the telephone nudges who call to sell you something or ask for a donation started to refer to me as "Gvirti". Previously it was: can I talk to (first neme)? Speaking. Oh, hi (first name), this is Yossi calling from xyz... etc.

ChossidMom

Mon, Sep 22 2008, 5:48 am

Sadly, I don't think you can call a Litvish, Charidi man "Adon Cohen". I have found that by the Litvish every man is a "Rav Cohen". By the Chassidim noone ever addresses someone who is not a real rav by the term "Rav". Personally, I find it ludicrous to call people Rav So and So. I reserve that title for my Rav.

If I sound bothered by this it is because it bothers me ALOT. And, thank you very much, I do NOT need to be called "Rebbetzin" even though all the Litvish men have to call me that when they call or have to talk to me in some situation. Puke

"Giveret" is just fine, thanks.

Raisin

Mon, Sep 22 2008, 7:53 am

Oh and ch'v if the woman has a title like dr - it is completely forbidden to use it! Rolling Eyes

if the husband has such a title, you may use it, but NEVER the wife. why that acknowledges that she has an existance apart from her husband. now that just would not do.

Seraph

Mon, Sep 22 2008, 8:01 am

red sea wrote:

Seraph wrote:

The reason I said not to say mr or mrs is there isnt an equivalent in hebrew...

then what does giveret mean? I have heard pple using that - I thought it sounded in place of mrs.

giveret means "Maam". You don't say Giveret Katz.

Seraph

Mon, Sep 22 2008, 9:14 am

ChossidMom wrote:

Sure you do. Giveret means Mrs.

I've never heard anyone in my life say it that wasnt older than 75... Its a very antiquated way of speaking. Almost tanachi. Wink

amother

Mon, Sep 22 2008, 10:29 am

Men sometimes say "Gvirati" to me... is that like "my giveret"? Confused

I guess that would not be used by chareidi men in that case.

ChossidMom

Mon, Sep 22 2008, 10:56 am

People call me Giveret Gottlieb all the time. I totally can't imagine what else someone who doesn't know me can call me. Religious or secular.

Tamiri

Mon, Sep 22 2008, 10:58 am

amother wrote:

Men sometimes say "Gvirati" to me... is that like "my giveret"? Confused

I guess that would not be used by chareidi men in that case.

That is proper Hebrew, when speaking to an unfamiliar woman. It's respectful.

Apple pie

Mon, Sep 22 2008, 7:36 pm

- yes, no innuendo in "gvirti"

- I feel funny when people call my house and ask to speak to "your dad" or daddy? Do I sound like my 6 year old? Confused

(then again maybe? Confused

)