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Siblings hitting eachother



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proudmom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 04 2004, 1:26 pm
My 2 kids are constantly fighting. Any tips on disciplining them?
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Yc18




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 04 2004, 3:26 pm
you need to be very strict with them. when you say something they need to know that you mean it. for me all I have to do is ask levi if he wants to go to time out. and he stops. I've only had to actually put him there a couple of times to show him I'm serious. now the threat is enough.
time out really works if you are 1. consistant with it, 2. if they try to get out you put them back in while telling them in a very strict voice that they must stay. make them a little scared. 3. use it all the time in the beginning till they get used to the idea that mommy is in charge and I must listen. every little thing your child does that you dont want him to, ask if he wants to go to time out if he does it again then put him there. and never ever give in. even if you dont have the energy for it do it anyway b/c it pays in the long run. after your kids get used to it you can stop looking for times to use it.
in the beginning I used to ask levi to pick something up for me and if he didnt I'd threaten the time out and follow through on it, now I dont make a big deal out of that b/c he understands the idea of time out already.
even if he'd cry I'd make him pick it up or I'd put him back in time out. I only did this once by the way, I dont want people to get the idea that I'm a monster. I'm not that strict but when I ask him to do something he's got to do it. that way I teach him to listen to me.
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proudmom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 04 2004, 3:34 pm
The problem is with Zalman Aryeh he never learns from his mistakes or punishments. If he hurts himself he will still go back there no matter what. For example he fell off the couch and he still does the same thing over and over again he thinks its funny. I tried to give him time out, I put him in his crib and he still does the same thing over and over and over again. He is a tough kid.
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Yc18




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 04 2004, 4:49 pm
did you put him in time out every single time he did it?
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Yc18




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 04 2004, 4:52 pm
it could also be that when they are bored they pick on each other. try to give them each separate entertaining activities , like coloring, to keep them away from each other. (supervise the coloring so your walls dont get colored on)
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proudmom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 05 2004, 7:57 am
I do put him into time out. and he thinks its a joke. and when they are playing nicely he would go over to esther and hit her or pull her hair. They are not bored when they are together, they enjoy eachothers company
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micki




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 05 2004, 8:34 am
why does it bother you? if your cjildren are around the same age, then they realy cannot do any serious damage to each other. have you ever seen lion cubs playing with each other? they look like they are fighting, but actually are playing with each other. same with kids- kids fight, but they are playing the age old dance of fighting/playing.
when I see my girls fighting, I cheer them on and say- come on lets see how much you can hit- they think I fell off my rocker and laugh. but don't do this with boys, they will actually take you seriously.
my 3 yr old boy and 4 yr old girl fight all the time, but they are both the same height weight, and the worst they can do is scratches.
it'll heal.
take a laid back attitude, they will see that you don't care if htey fight and they may just stop.
I draw the line at biting though- then they have to sit in time out, and they don't get the next meal- they ate their sibling already- they don't need any more food!
good luck and really chill out, and tune out their fighting.
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proudmom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 05 2004, 9:17 am
The problem is with that is, they fight so much and when one gets hurt they come over to me and start crying and if I dont answer them the crying gets louder and louder and lounder. How can I ignore that?
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geula




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 20 2004, 11:11 am
you know, when that kind of thing happens with my gang, I say "hashem gave us hands to mach shein, not to potch. can you show me a nice way we can use our hands?" kids are all yetzer hora, they have to learn this stuff time and again that it is unacceptable to hit or bite or be aggressive. they aren't going to learn it overnight.

sometimes I give my kids a time out, but I don't find it to be the greatest consequence in my house. my oldest kid gets so frustrated in her room (5 yrs) all she does is scream and bang on the door. what is that teaching her? it isn't teaching her mentschlikeit and it isn't teaching her not to potch. most of the time I give "time outs" so they can "take a break" or "calm down," not that they see it as punishment. I think every mom has to find her style that works for her and works for the individual kid she's dealing with. there's no "pat answer" for every situation.

I think it depends on the severity of the incident. I try to respond in a loving manner, in a way that is in synch with raising chassidisher kids. at least, that's my goal.
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