Arranged--The Movie

Aidelmom

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 3:36 am

HindaRochel wrote:

I guess after nearly 51 years I'm too use to Jews being told they are too religious and need to bend to accomadate (name the group). I've seen too many such films, read too many such books. It is always the Jews who question who give who change to understand the other group.

If you follow any of the efforts here in Israel to get peace between Jews and Muslims, same story. Muslims stick generally have a version of peace that means Jews give up and the Jewish version ends up being one of concession.

This is one Jew who is tired, sick and tired, of being told Judaism is the problem and if only we would is the solution.

I'm tired of Jews giving over, giving in and giving up. I'm tired of concession.

I didn't see the film, so I don't know what questions are raised, but I'm not willing to waste my energies on a film that just states "if only Jews would...." in some fashion or other.

Oh but it doesn't at all!! I guess im not good at explaining

LeahW

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 3:51 am

We started watching it and DH bailed out after the first 20 minutes or so. I stuck with it and thought it was OK, but it didn't make Jews look so great, and it made the Muslims look so tolerant, warm and welcoming. The Jewish girl's mother, on the other hand, was depicted as a rude, suspicious racist, and the father a nerdy, clueless guy. The main character herself was done well.

LeahW

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 4:08 am

It's very obvious, I'm surprised no one else mentioned it. The Muslim girl is self-confident and shows no embarrassment about her way of life. You would not have seen her in a scene like the one mentioned here where the main Jewish character went to a party and forgot herself for a few minutes. (The Muslim actress incidentally, was played by a Jew).

The Muslim parents were also ideal, except for a cautious look the father gave one time during the movie about his daughter hanging out with a Jew.

The Jews were depicted in a pretty stereotypical way, nebbie father, nebbie son... all the shidduch prospects were nebbie... or offensive in some way.

Even the Jewish principal of the school who wasn't frum was rude and intolerant, not only of Muslims but of Jews as well.

avigailmiriam

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 8:19 am

HindaRochel wrote:

Aidelmom wrote:

only the jewish girl questions her faith - I think it does focus more on the jewish girl and she definitly has more wacky dating scenarios though the muslim girl does meet one she doesnt like.

I'm not sure about the denigrating part. Its a caricature - if you know the scene its funny and outrageous - if you don't and you think its typical ok that may be denigrating.

There are some thoughtful parts which in a way show the good likethe dialouge between the principal and the girls about their lifestyle.

For the most part I didn't get the feeling that it was putting down frumkeit - but thats just my opinion.

Well if it is centering on the Jewish girl questioning her faith, and not both girls, and if it is only the Jewish girl that is has the wacky dates, and only the Jewish girl that is told her faith is holding her back and she needs to bend a little, than it is voicing prejudice against Judaism, even if she remains faithful in the end and is fairly typical of movies of this sort (Jews and Muslims can be friends. See here. Jews bend.)

The Jewish girl is the focus of the movie; I think her story gets more screentime in general. Rochel questions her faith for the duration of approximately one evening.

And the Muslim girl does get a wacky date--her dad's twenty-years-older-than-her business associate with bad table manners.

avigailmiriam

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 8:20 am

LeahW wrote:

Aw, I thought the dad was kind of sweet. But then my father is nerdy and so is my husband. And so am I. LOL

anuta

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 8:24 am

LeahW wrote:

But you know what, unfortunately its totally realistic. How many frum mothers with daughters in shidduchim wouldn't bat an eye if a daughter brought an overtly muslim girlfriend home for all to see?

And welcoming muslims - yes, many truly are...

LeahW

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 8:25 am

avigailmiriam wrote:

And the Muslim girl does get a wacky date--her dad's twenty-years-older-than-her business associate with bad table manners.

I forgot about that. The difference being that with the Muslim girl, this wacky guy was an anomoly - even her mother agreed it was just a courtesy date. With the Jewish girl, all the guys were wacky (and everyone acted like she was being picky, indicating that this is just what Jewish guys are like), and the normal guy she ended up with in the end was the anomoly. It was like a big sigh of relief that she finally found a normal Jewish guy among all the losers.

Last edited by LeahW on Tue, Nov 25 2008, 8:34 am; edited 2 times in total

LeahW

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 8:32 am

avigailmiriam wrote:

LeahW wrote:

Aw, I thought the dad was kind of sweet. But then my father is nerdy and so is my husband. And so am I. LOL

He was sweet. And I don't have a problem with nerdy guys. It's just that ALL the Jews here were nerdy.

avigailmiriam

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 8:35 am

LeahW wrote:

avigailmiriam wrote:

LeahW wrote:

Aw, I thought the dad was kind of sweet. But then my father is nerdy and so is my husband. And so am I. LOL

He was sweet. And I don't have a problem with nerdy guys. It's just that ALL the Jews here were nerdy.

That's funny. I didn't notice that all the guys were nerdy until you mentioned it. Just just kept thinking, "Well, he wasn't so bad;I could see a second date with him..." I forget that my tastes in men are rather odd.

octopus

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 10:43 am

I agree that dates were over the top, and they were old, and not on the cute side.

The father character (rochel's father) was supremely annoying. They kept on showing sidewalk scenes with guys in black hats- why couldn't she date one of them? The guy at the party was portrayed as nice, sensitive, and "normal", while all the "religious" guys were self-centered or boorish.

I enjoyed watching it, though.

HindaRochel

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 10:57 am

anuta wrote:

LeahW wrote:

And many are not. Reverse prejudice is not laudable. Why do we denigrate our own?

anuta

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 11:46 am

HindaRochel wrote:

anuta wrote:

LeahW wrote:

And many are not. Reverse prejudice is not laudable. Why do we denigrate our own?

anuta

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 11:50 am

octopus wrote:

I agree with you. I think it is a side effect of a Jewish woman producing this film, she probably was very tempted to use her experiences to make the movie funny, but didn't put enough balance on the other side (muslim girl's) regarding bad dating experiences. So kind of laughing at herself, but forgetting the impression it could have on nonjewish general audience.

HindaRochel

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 11:53 am

anuta wrote:

I don't denigrate our own, but I saw enough prejudice on this very site in regards to shidduchim, that I can easily believe that that scene in the movie was realistic. Now, whether or not it should've been done that way is a different question... since this movie was intended for a wide audience it was bad to show Jews in such a light ... .. but we all know it is realistic, come on.[/quote]

It was the comparison between Jews and Muslims that resulted in my response.

Yes, there are prejudices in the Jewish community. You don't think that they exist in the Muslim community?

My question is was the overall portrayal of Judaism negative and the overall portrayal of Muslims positive? Yes they both retain their faith, but if movie goers leave the audience thinking that Frum Jews are wacked, but religious Muslims are wonderful, exactly what good do you think that does? And how does it help B'nei Yisroel?

And do you really think the Muslim culture is warm and inviting? And doesn't have their own marriage related "shiddach" problems, where the girl is consistently set up with wackos? Or, where she doesn't have the chance to reject anyone?

Seen the new law in the UK about forced marriages?

In the kitchen

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 12:45 pm

Does anyone know of a movie made by a muslim that portrays a muslim jewish friendship and shows the yidden in a positive light?...I would be very interested to see one. I thus far, have only heard of yidden or non jews or secular yidden making such "lets all be friends" movies. Im not negating the fact that there are good and bad in every community, but I am serious when I say that I have not seen such a movie come out from their end. Our culture/hashkafa does not perpetuate or tolerate violence, we dont go starting wars, as we see throughout history we are the ones who are getting attacked (unprovoked at that!) So while there are certainly Muslims out there who are tolerant and peace loving, just as there are Yidden who are thirsty for revenge, our hashkafa doesnt support it, but Muslim hashkafa does/or has been perverted to. Its part of their culture now. Hashem should help that we should all merit seeing the coming of moshiach speedily in our days!

In the kitchen

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 12:50 pm

To my knowledge none. But that is not becuase I am avoiding such a thing. I simply do not frequently watch movies (being chassidish etc.) So kindly suggest one to me, as far as I know I have not seen one. But I do know that there are muslims producing movies.