Do you always say refua shelaima?

mamacita

Thu, Nov 27 2008, 5:51 am

Do you always wish people refua shelaima when you hear about sickness? or injury? Only friends n family?

I try to do so for everyone, even occasionally for strangers (when appropriate). When I was hobbling on crutches it meant so much to have even strangers wishing me refua shelaima, like little davening nuggets heading up to shamayim for me! Words carry strong power!

Recently I was out n about and I ran into a friend. I had my arm in a sling (I meant it when I said I should join the klutz thread). She asked what happened and after I told her (in 2 words or less mind you) she changed the subject and went on her way! No refua shelaima, nothing! Sad

Am I wrong to expect more from a friend?

yo'ma

Thu, Nov 27 2008, 7:33 am

I try to, but her head might have been elsewhere and wasn't really paying attention. Like for me this morning, if anyone said anything to me, they'll have to repeat it another time because I'm half asleep and not really paying attention to anyone, except for my bed screaming for me.

Ima'la

Thu, Nov 27 2008, 4:14 pm

Refuah shelaima, mamacita! (Bet you were waiting for one of us to say that! Wink

) I wouldn't read to much into it. If it bothers you, there's nothing wrong with fishing for brachos, like jokingly saying, "Well, refuah shelaima to me!" so she'll hopefully say "Amen" or "RS" or something...

yo'ma

Thu, Nov 27 2008, 4:16 pm

Ima'la wrote:

Refuah shelaima, mamacita! (Bet you were waiting for one of us to say that! Wink

Oy, I'm so sorry, refuah shelama, but I did say I was tired. I took a nap, so now I'm reading straight. Once again, sorry and refuah shelam!!

mamacita

Thu, Nov 27 2008, 6:17 pm

Thanks Ima'la and yo'ma! Totally didn't expect it from you guys, I wasn't fishing, honest! B"H I'm better already! I was just wondering how other people felt about saying it, like maybe it's for sickness not injury for things more major, etc.

ShakleeMom

Thu, Nov 27 2008, 8:38 pm

I always say when visiting in person. I learned that when visiting someone, it does not count as Bikur Cholim unless you say it out of your mouth. Over then phone, I’ll tell someone ‘refuah Sheleimah, feel better” and that’s all.

avigailmiriam

Thu, Nov 27 2008, 8:46 pm

One of the things that has always felt slightly odd to me since joining the Jewish world is when people wish me a refuah shleima when I tell them I have arthritis. It's an incurable chronic illness I've had since childhood; it just feels weird to be wished a full recovery.

That being said, I always wish people to "get well soon" when I find out they're sick--unless they're chronically ill, in which case I tell them I hope things improve.

I feel weird wishing gentiles a refuah shleima; I'd rather give the same sentiment in a language they understand.

cheerios

Thu, Nov 27 2008, 11:39 pm

avigailmiriam wrote:

If someone Ch"v has a terminal illness that according to doctors is "incurable" would you not tell him Refuah Sheleima? How about years ago when if someone had tuberculosis, for example, there was no cure for it. Ppl still would wish them refuah sheleima. So I think when ppl wish it to you it's in the same vein that as Jews, we don't give up hope, we always daven, we always hope for a recovery... Who knows, maybe soon they'll discover a cure for chronic conditions like arthritis. Wink

avigailmiriam

Thu, Nov 27 2008, 11:46 pm

cheerios wrote:

avigailmiriam wrote:

I know that, it just always feels kind of funny. You have to understand that, for years, I've had to deal with people refusing to believe that I'm sick or that what I have is anything more serious than a minor ailment. When I hear people wish me a refuah shleima, a hasty recovery, a part of me still wonders if they think I'm not actually sick. Given that I've had people who didn't believe I was sick make my nife an absolute nightmare because of it, it's a touchy subject. It's a totally irrational feeling of mine that I'm working on dealing with.

mama-star

Fri, Nov 28 2008, 12:49 am

"refuah shleima" means a whole (complete) recovery, not a speedy one. so I think under the circumstances, it's appropriate. G-d can do anything, including heal your arthritis.

so I wish you a wholehearted refuah shleima! b'karov!